Feeling like normal people own everything and are everywhere

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I've always been afraid of normal people, especially in large groups. Ever since school it seemed like they wanted to hurt everything that wasn't them. There used to be a few places they didn't go, I guess because it went against social code to do so, like that "nerd corner" that every waterstones has, or rock clubs. Places I felt safe.

Now, they seem to be there too. I had an awful night last night at my local rock club. They were everywhere. I could feel them looking at me, I knew they hated me for not looking and acting like them. They didn't go there before. Now they do. I'm worried that soon, there won't be anywhere outside where I feel welcome and safe.

I'm torn, though. I'm glad that more people like the music I like, and I'm glad that graphic novels, fantasy, sci fi, and all those things are becoming more socially accepted. But at the same time, I don't feel more socially accepted. I feel them still judging me even when we share common ground and interests.

They ask for so much, and give little in return. I've tried to figure out their rules even though they won't tell me them, their millions of nonsensical regulations that constantly change. I try to stay out of people's way, even when they constantly obstruct me as if I wasn't even there. I try not to even look at normal people for longer than a millisecond, as for some of them, that's reason enough to beat someone within an inch of their life. I'm sick of it, can't they leave something alone? They don't want people like me around, so wouldn't it make sense for there to be somewhere we can go? Away from them?

I wish that everyone could be equal, but that's not what they want, and they outnumber everyone who isn't normal by thousands. They could wipe us out if they wanted. I just want to feel safe.

How do you 'know' they hated you, and why do you think all these normal people are going to hyperfocus on you...and by rock club do you mean a club about collecting rocks or like rock music? Either way I assume these normal people where there due to being interested in that...not to hyper focus and hate an individual for no apparent reason.

Have you had a lot of bad experiances with people treating you like crap and such? I know I do and it makes me worried that I will experience more...but its not always the case.

Up until I was 18 I had a secret hiding place where I would go.

It was actually right in the city centre but it was behind an old derelict pub.

I had to climb over a wall and then go down a kind of old cellar that had no roof but was completely hidden by trees.

To me it was the most magical place in the whole world. The sun always shone there and it was just me in my own world.

It was the only place where I felt safe.

I can picture it now as I'm writing. I'll never let it go.

What I'm saying is, is that there is always a place to go. You just have to find it.

The biggest thing that bugs me about being in a group of so called normal people is that I can't tell if they are talking behind my back and that makes me very uncomfortable.

They were looking at me. Some of them were laughing. Besides, that's just from experience what normal people do when they see someone who isn't one of them. They hate that person. They probably did come there because they liked rock music, but they didn't want someone like me there.

My entire experience with school was hell. I tried to figure out why they hated me, and it seemed they were all normal and I wasn't. That's where I started to think that normal people could be dangerous.

You must be an extremely important personage.

The way that whole crowds of people stop what they are doing, thinking, and saying, just to focus on you!



I'd like to get your autograph!

Does the Paparazzi follow you around too?


LOL!

Pardon my sarcasm, but I suspect that you're not nearly as important to the public as you think you are.

I'm not. They simply don't want me around. It isn't just me, anyone who can't blend in.

My experience is that the older you get, the less likely people are to bother you. Adults seem to be more accepting of differences and more prone to talking behind your back instead of physically bullying you. Of course, I'm talking about mainstream society. There's some places where you gotta watch your back, but that goes for normal people as well as misfits.

If it was a rock club how did they know you weren't one of them.....also did they laugh at you, or is it possible they where laughing in conversation with others....they could have been looking because they just notice you there. I usually look around at people when I go to a crowded place but not to judge. Also though anything having to do with rock music I've been to involves people wearing band t shirts and such so it would be hard to figure out who's 'normal' and who's 'not normal' due to the similar clothing.

Maybe the band that was playing that night had a particular following among NTs. Did they have some big pop radio hit or something? If so, it's just a fad and will pass.

Actually, this is pretty much what got me over being frequently concerned about what other people thought of me. I used to be extremely self-conscious.

Then I realized it was extremely egocentric of me to assume that anyone else would even notice--let alone care--who I was, what I was doing, how I looked, or anything else. I simply was irrelevant to most people. Not worth thinking about or noticing. That might make some people feel bad, but for someone like me, it was a relief to realize that I was one person in a sea of people that no one really noticed (unless I did something to draw attention to myself)

So, unless you were doing something specific to basically MAKE yourself stand out in a crowd, I really doubt that you were noticed at all. "Normal" people have no "abnormal sensor" that allows them to pick up on who is different from themselves in large crowds full of strangers unless someone is doing something obvious to stand out. I find that most people who do not want to stand out tend to avoid doing things to make themselves stand out. And in a place like a rock club, "normal" people expect to see all sorts of people, so no one really stand out...again, unless you are doing something to draw attention to yourself.