i CANT keep living like this: i need help.

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i just had a meltdown that just seemed to have come from no where, but i know what caused it.

my dad works 5 days a week (sometimes 6) and works from 8 to 4. i dont see him during the day so i have to do things on my own. i usually eat, watch TV, play video games and go on the computer, but lately, everything has been really stressful.

last weekend i had to stay with my sister and her baby because her boyfriend went out on army buisness and she didnt want to be alone, so that was really stressful

my birthday is on friday and itll be the first time in 4 years that i have an actual party which im anxious about.

lately, my hormones are out of whack for some reason and now i dont know when to expect my period, i cant eat without feeling sick, i get mood swings and just generally feel terrible

so, theres a lot of stress, i was playing my video game today and felt really angry so i just turned of the Xbox, which only made me more angry and i threw the controler, next thing i knew i threw the plate i was holding to, which shattered all over the floor, the shatter scared me and i felt bad for the food on the plate and it only caused me to cry, and scream, i tried to find the phone but my dad took it with him and i started pacing the house, humming and grabbing my teeth. im really overwhelmed.

i really need help with doing things at home, like balancing out my life and doing things that wont cause me to freak out. what should i do?

I can't help you with your other problems, but go see a doctor about your period and your mood swings and your appetite.

Tell your dad about how your stress level seems to be getting worse - see if you can't find a way to get some time alone, in a quiet place, with no people and no stimulation. If you have a good chunk of wilderness nearby, that'd be the sort of place to look. Try taking up art (or perhaps meditation, if you feel up to it) while you are there. Spend a few hours of the week disconnecting, expressing yourself, and generally being free, and it'll do wonders for your stress level.

As for the physical stuff, cavernio is right on the money. You need a doctor visit, so talk to your dad about that, too.

I agree. Visit the doc. It looks like if its tied to your monthly cycle & hormones related with it.

In the meantime, if you can 'feel' a mini-meltdown like that coming up (sudden increased stress or anger) you can try to have your family know beforehand that you'll let them know so they can be there with you. A hug does wonders... and it could save the dinnerware

As someone always seeking stimulation, it's hard for me to cool down and sort of "stop and smell the roses," but that helps me out and it may help you too. Is there a quiet place you can go to? Just close your eyes, maybe listen to some soft music, and think of going somewhere you've always wanted to go; the beach, a mountain stream, etc. As your thoughts wander, try to always focus back on that once place.

Combining the stress from the sibling and the offspring and the fact you have a party coming up, I can see how this would cause a meltdown.

Are you sexually active?
If so, is there a chance your contraception failed?
The inability to eat, mood swings and feeling "terrible" aren't necessarily related to your period, or lack there of.
It is quite common for these symptoms to appear when you have high levels of stress, anxiety and/or depression.

In terms of doing things at home to balance yourself out, to prevent the meltdowns from happening, will be difficult.
You cannot stop the meltdowns all together, they will happen.
From my observation, we don't have the same release mechanism for stressors as most do.
Most can just blow it off by going to the pub or a nightclub for a night and suddenly everything's better, like they've received a sadness vaccination from the happy fairy.
With us, the stress seems to hit critical levels, then it needs to be released, like a pressure release valve.

You can, however, attempt to limit them.
But in order for me to help you there, I'm going to need more information.

Preferably information based around your daily activities, how you calm yourself down or what makes you feel relaxed, likes and dislikes of sensory input.

I do agree partially with what has been said above. You should go see your general practitioner or your family doctor, one that knows you quite well, state what has been happening in regards to the inability to eat, how terrible you've been feeling and mood swings. Try to avoid mentioning your period, otherwise they won't run tests and will link it back to that. Only mention your period if it hasn't come.



I don't believe it is tied to her period, her period might be adding a little more mental pressure, but I doubt it is the soul cause of these issues, so getting it looked at would be quite pointless.

A hug can make things worse, not all Autistics enjoy pressure, my partner is a perfect example of that.
You also have to account for the sensory input given when a hug occurs. That might be enough to send her into a meltdown and cause her to not only harm herself, but her parents.

*laughs while running of a clif, exploding herself into space and head explodes from pressure*

i am far from sexually active, WAY WAY far. i can barely get a boy to compliment me let alone touch me.

Zombiegirl, I think you sound like you may be feeling lonely. In addition to feeling stressed about the party. And maybe frustrated with being out of school and home alone so much. Do you have anywhere you go regularly? That might help.

As far as meltdowns, I disagree completely with what some people here said. I think that underlines how different people are from one another. Being hugged is very calming for me, as long as the other person is calm. I also find it calming to lean on hard things so that it feels like pressure, but it's under your control, which may help some.

And being alone with no phone sounds like it made things worse. If there isn't another phone you can have when your father is out, do you have internet you could use to reach someone?

If you plan ahead for what to do when things go wrong it really can help. Especially if you can find people to lean on who can help.

thank you for the advice Waterfalls, you always know what to say

i do somewhat feel kinda useless moping the house with no purpose since i quit school, but i couldnt handle school either, so its hard to find a balance ground. being hugged is calming for me too, as long as its my dad.

my dad works in a prison and so its a little hard to communicate other than phone and its expensive to get another one

i did very well in this meltdown, i didnt hit myself, didnt break anything else other than a plate and i just stimmed, so that was a break through! but from now on i will have to plan ahead.

That does sound stress full. Do you have hobbies you like to do? Have you ever tried drawing or writing or anything like that? Sometimes being isolated like that with no choice about it can cause too many problems. Could you maybe get a volunteer job part time? Or go to a coffee shop just to be around people sometimes? OR maybe take a class at a place that is a fun school, like croche or pottery.

Sorry about your Grandma. Mine died a long time ago and I still miss her!

Can I ask why the dad took the cell phone? That seemed to be one of the turning points.

Also, does the family understand autism? Changes in routine? Taking an autistic teen and making HER the one to give support to an older sibling...with a small child that's no doubt inclined to be unpredictable and make noise?

A few things happened here that make me wonder if someone didn't think a few things out, especially how the autistic member of the family would be affected.

yes actually my family is extremely understanding, but i forget to tell people about my feelings sometimes and my meltdowns can seem to come from no where, so once i explain why it happened, they understand and just remind me to tell them when i feel overwhelmed.

my sister isnt any less Disabled than i am, she has Borderline Personality Disorder, and when her boyfriend leaves for the weekend she has meltdowns just like me, and cant sleep, i went there to help her, but put myself in a tough situation. i really need to balance my life.

oh yeah, my dad took the phone by accident, he left it in the car.

I'm glad I helped, Zombiegirl.