Do I have Aspergers or something else?

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First of all I know I cannot be diagnosed here but I was wondering if I could indeed have Aspergers this is kind of long so bear with me.

My name is Lianne, I was born on Feb, 13 1986 and I was 4 months early. The reason I am here is because for most of my life I have felt very different more noticable as I got older. I had a normal childhood. I grew up an only child and spent a lot of my time playing inside with my imaginary friends. I didnt have a lot of friends growing up I had a few close ones the rest of the kids just thought I was strange. My brother was born when I was 13 years old and my life really changed from there. As I got older I got told I had depression and got thrown on Prozac which really didnt help at all just made me feel really sick. Then I got told I should talk to a therapist and didnt really open up to anyone. Then my mom noticed I was harming myself so then I got the label of bipolar which I knew wasnt me at all my mom didnt believe it either but then I just kinda slowly started to beleive it was true and started on various meds like Lithium and other stuff that didnt help. That all happened inbetween 13 and 16. 17 is when everything started going downhill. I started hurting myself more took a ton of caffeine pills a day just to feel happy.

At 17 is when the term bipolar was brought up yet again so then I started doing my own research and for a long time I kept thinking it was something else but the only thing I could really find to fit me at the time was Borderline personality disorder. Ill admit in the past I have been sudicial a few times and I even dropped out of high school my second semister of senior year.

From 17 until now I have had numerous psyciatrists and drs try and figure out what is wrong with me and have been to numerous therapists too. In August of last year I was told I had Borderline personality disorder by a psyciatrist but then a therapist at the same place said I didnt meet the breeding grounds of that for it to be true so then I started looking at other things that could be wrong and came up with Aspergers.

I also that I meet a ton of the symptoms for "Preemie Syndrome" its not a real disease but rather a list of symptoms that premature babies deal with as a result of being born early.

The reason why I think I have Aspergers because of the following

I can mostly tell peoples body language but I do have some trouble. My biggest issue is with small talk and taking turns talking.

I have a very strict routine and if it gets interupted at all I get very angry and get very upset.

Appear to lack empathy. More so when I don't get what I want.

I have a very hard with with sarcasm and jokes I never understand either or have a hard time telling when people are being sarcastic but my speech has pitch and isnt monotone just is fast and I have a hard time explaining what I want to say. Cant seem to get my thoughts out into sentences very well.

I have no problem with eye contact with people that are close to me like my fiance or my parents and brother but I do while working I never really look at customers (Im a cashier so its easy to just look at what I am doing) I do tend to stare at other people but its more so out the window at work or I look around a lot.

My 2 biggest interests are sex and the internet. With sex its also part of my routine so that makes it even harder to deal with and the internet I can be on it wanting to look up something to start with and 3 hrs later not know what I wanted to look up and have been all over the place, I even look at it on my phone while watching tv and get mad if my fiance tells me to get off of the comp or my phone to go anywhere.

I get overstimulated very quickly especially at work, I have very sensitive hearing and basically all of the sensory dysfunction issues thats a big issue in my life

I also noticed that I have a problem with control. I control my fiance all the time and its a big problem. If I dont get what I want I get very upset and angry.

I also am very clumsy I trip over my own feet and I walk into walls and hurt myself not even knowing it all the time.

I did take a Aspie quiz and I got this as a result.
Your Aspie score: 170 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 41 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

I have done a lot of reading about Aspergers and basically everything I have read sounds like me. I dont know what I should do next. I dont have insurance and I just quit therapy because I was told I was too high-functioning for them and it wasnt helping anywyays.

I was also told I have ADHD and I am on Ritalin LA for it and was wondering if that was such a good idea.

Thank you so much for reading and for any help.

Hi, thanks for posting.

Like you, I am a preemie...so I am interested in this "syndrome" you are talking about.

I am also like you in that I am undiagnosed. I have done a lot of reading on Asperger's. Maybe it's me, but I'm not convinced.

I don't have any quick answers to your question, other than to say "hi" you are not alone.

I sincerely hope you are no longer hurting yourself. That would be my concern.

Best Wishes.

welcome to wrong planet.

wow sounds like me in a lot of ways except i am not a preemie very quiet when i speak unless upset, and i have not been diagnosed with any thing yet, so could be i my self am still trying to find out i have enough data on my own study of it to prove i am but nothing is legitimate as a DX

It's difficult to say based on what you've written. I'm leaning against asperger's, but I'm no doctor. The only way to know for sure, as was said earlier, was to get an actual diagnosis.

My experience: I cried a lot as a baby, according to my mother. I had to be taught to make eye contact with people, one of my teacher's in 6th grade worked with me on this. I've never been able to connect with others, I can't make friends and romantic relationships have never been a part of my life as a result of this. I have a hard time reading other's emotions and generally fit the DSM IV criteria for AS. I have my good days (where I accept who I am) and bad, where I feel I wish I was like everyone else (neurotypical as it's often called).

One of my strengths is that I can focus on a subject and study it to the point of mastery. I often will research subjects that I find fascinating.

and see that is what i am dealing with i seem to be in the middle of baffroom and labnjab
meaning i have a lot to connect with on either side this is something that i am trying to find out
if i have or not what got me started on the subject is i chew my shirt collars and have ruined most of my shirts am still fighting to stop that from happening and ever since came across it with the chewing problem i have found almost a hundred other connection points be tween me and others here

I don't understand. Do you all write the way you do because it is short hand for writing on the Internet, or is it a symptom of the larger experience of your life? I meet people who write extremely long sentences with no capitalization or commas long run on sentences with no pauses for breath and then half way into the paragraph maybe finally a period. I'm not making fun of you or belittling you. I studied expository writing in college so I'm interested. You mentioned yourself that you have trouble putting thoughts into sentences.

Also...I googled "preemie syndrome". Pretty scarry. Is it fact based scholarship, or just another label someone invented? Thanks.

This sounds very much like me, too. There are times when I feel like my thoughts are coming too fast to be formed into sentences. I often speak too quickly because I think I'm going to forget what I want to say if I don't get it out as quickly as possible.

I'm a cashier too, at a fast food restaurant. I'm usually in the drive-through window. The customers don't seem to care if I don't look directly at them.

A lot of what you described does sound like AS. Like you, I'm not formally diagnosed either. I took a different online AS test (http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test/) and scored a 37.

I'm glad you found this site. Welcome to WP!

i just took that quiz and scored 39 on it my score on the one mentioned in the first post i took several times and i got highest score of 171/200 aspies

guess its confirmed for self diagnostic i really need to find a way to get a professional diagnosis though so i can be sure.

I did take that other quiz and I got a 40.

I remembered a few things today while working that I thought could be useful as well I am very good with memorizing numbers. For example if I see a bar code on a product I have it memorized like I know that 04902240960 is a 24 pk case of store brand bottled water where I work and other ones I can remember too. Also if I see a licence plate a couple times and I have it memorized yet I am extremely bad at math I can do basic math in my head but harder stuff like anything double digit I need a calculator.

Also I talk very soft too people hardly hear me and I always end up having to repeat myself. When I am angry tho forget it I can be extremely loud.

@hutchscott As for how I write. I have a hard time knowing where to put punctuation marks. I speak that way as well tho not as bad but then again I dont say a lot to people and then its more so as I mentioned I cant get the thoughts out so I am more concerned on making sure what I said was understood and less how you know the right grammar is. I did have a hard time with language arts to this day I really dont know what a noun, pronoun, verb or subjects and predicates of sentences are. That is sad I know I just could never figure it out.

I think the preemie syndrome is just a list of what they have found premature babies have or get as they grow up and I did want to point out I do not hurt myself anymore.

I still wonder how I should go about getting a formal diagnosis? As I mentioned I dont have insurance but I will be getting it once I get a Dental Assistant job and it kicks in of course. I would like some advice if possibe on how I can start coping with this. Work has become so difficult. I have been working in retail for 8 years and I honestly cant take much more its too overwhelming.

Don't blame yourself--blame our public schools. I might not have known either if I hadn't been raised with an English-major mom who taught me all of this from day one.



That's good to hear.



I was never formally diagnosed and, for my own reasons, have no wish to do so.

Coping--well, for me, just knowing that "it" has a name was a huge help. Now I know there are reasons for the way I am, why I have trouble with certain things, etc. That helps me recognize what I need to focus on more strongly than other people do. Yes, certain things are still frustrating (e.g., no sense of direction, like someone else mentioned in another thread), but at least I know "why."

I can understand why working in retail would be difficult. I did it seasonally (holidays) for a few months back in high school-- I'm glad you're moving to a different job. Dental Assisting is one-on-one, socially speaking.

The best advice I can give you is to keep posting here. PM me if you'd like to talk more privately. Also, if you have any people IRL you can talk to about this, do so. We may be "socially challenged" in some ways, but that doesn't mean that social support systems don't help.

Take care.

Thank you conundrum and everyone else. I just feel so different then other people. Im glad to have found this site and to know that I am definetly not alone and that I finally can move forward to trying to make my life the best it can be.

I have another question. Have anyone ever been accused of being selfish? I keep being told that I only care about what I want and it is hurting me very much. I was wondering if anyone else has been acccused of that they only care about themselves? and if so is this something I can try and not portray if that makes sense. Thank you for any advice.

Ask whoever says that to you, "what exactly do you mean? How am I being selfish?" Sometimes, people just get frustrated because you react and interact differently--maybe they mistake your sensory sensitivity and need to stay with your routine for "selfishness" because they don't realize that these traits are hardwired into you.

If they refuse to answer you, or say something like "oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about," then don't take it too much to heart. At times, it really is a matter of "the pot calling the kettle black," if you know what I mean.

I think I've been perceived as selfish a few times. I am very self-contained, which can look like aloofness/selfishness--maybe that's what's going on with you. IMO, the people who are actually worth being around will come to realize that they've been misperceiving you.

Again, glad you're here.