Times when I cannot respond properly and know it

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As distinct periods throughout life, though I cannot remember any specific ages and events; it is something I've observed myself do, something necessary but unfortunate. I am presented with a challenge and I must respond; when I do, I notice immediately I respond in a much less optimal way. It is like I am incapable, or perhaps too weak, too deviant, to respond as I know I should have. I then do a coping response to resolve the issue, but I blame myself for my laziness, my incompetence, my weakness. In this moment, I realize I am out of step with my peers, as each of them passes the challenge, with me, the pathetic, groveling figure, left by the wayside.

I am like a statue, incapable of keeping up: The world passes me by.

For me, it's more like being paralyzed... typically in social situations where someone does something unexpected. Then there are times when instead of expressing at a crucial moment I'd withdraw instead due to crippling nervousness. Then there are times where I respond at a normal speed but end up saying things that make perfect sense to me but misinterpreted by others. Sometimes I joke around with a straight face, forgetting to laugh in response to what someone else says. Misunderstandings go unresolved...

Many other situations unmentioned, mundane or actual challenges where my reaction is... less than optimal, as you put it. As a result, I spend way too time watching/observing, instead of taking action (even when I want to). At least, being cognizant of the problem plus gaining some understanding of it is the best starting point to finding an effective solution. It's not hopeless. With each painful failure there's still valuable experience gained, so don't get too down, I bet it'll get better.

One thing I've noticed, I seem to expend a tremendous amount of mental energy just to have those optimal reactions (still, on occassion), so if I go like 20% it probably won't happen...

I hope I interpreted you correctly. I wasn't sure what you meant by challenges so I had to go from my own perspective.