Accepted to state insurance, what now? Help with shrinks :(

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Hello everyone!
I have been accepted to my state insurance, which means I can finally "afford" to see a shrink and get diagnosed. The only diagnosis I have regarding my mental state is a "general anxiety" diagnosis from a GP; I have not once seen a shrink in my life.

In addition to suffering from anxiety for as long as I can remember, I have known something was off about me since my mid-teens. I suffer from severe shutdowns and meltdowns. I shutdown a lot, if I'm faced with anything too complex for me to understand, instead of working through it my brain just stops. The best way I can describe it is that my entire head goes black. If I push myself through a shutdown, I meltdown, and get the uncontrollable urge to hit myself in the head, scratch my skin, hit things, and so on. I honestly didn't realize that this is abnormal until I explained it to my boyfriend. After he told me that people do not experience these things, I started researching different conditions to figure out a rough idea of what's "wrong" with me. The autism spectrum is the only thing that literally matches 99% of who I am and how I have always behaved, so I suspect that I am on the spectrum.

This severely affects my day-to-day life, along with the anxiety. I cannot hold a job because I shutdown at any form of criticism or responsibility. I am trying to work through this on my own but it's very hard. I applied to food stamps last year, at the advice of others, and they put me onto a job-search program. I actually ended up exempt from the program because I completely melted down at the meeting for it, in a room full of 20 people. The head of the program told me I "obviously have some issues I need to work through before I can move on with the program".

My insurance will help me find a shrink, and I have a list of questions to ask the shrink before actually signing on. My question is, how can I make this go as easy as possible for both me and the shrink? I don't want to dance around with diagnosis's; I want to do this right the first time. I figured that I would write down all of my symptoms in a notebook and give it to them upon my assessment. Would it be helpful at all if I asked my boyfriend to also write down things he notices about me from an external point of view? Or would that hurt my case?

Another question I have is government assistance through disability. I have been told by several people within these programs that due to my horrible fear of leaving the house, and issues with jobs, that I should qualify for at least a little within my state. I am in dire need of help, as my boyfriend is literally supporting me (and him) right now. Even the idea of getting involved in all that makes me a bit sick, but it's one of my only options where I live at this point in time.
I am confused on how to deal with this when I get an assessment and potentially treatment from a shrink (I hate the idea of meds, but we'll have to see what happens :\ ). It is my understanding that the shrink themselves need to specifically list the difficulties their client has with everyday living. I don't really know how to ask them for this information? I do not want to appear rude. I have tried reading about this stuff and thinking about what I would ask them, and I really do not understand. I'm not even sure how to get my notes from them when it's over with... do I just ask?

I feel ashamed for asking things like this, but I am very stupid when it comes to dealing with people and medical professionals. I try so hard to learn about it all and I just fail miserably. I don't understand how to communicate with them. Any help is appreciated, thank you to everyone who reads and comments.

If your goal is to end up completing the program, and to get a job that way, I'd focus on/start with the shut/melt downs, maybe lists of recent ones, time-frames (how long they last, how often they happen), triggers, anything of that sort... It kind of irks me that you were tossed for melting down in a situation that would obviously be difficult for you, when they should accommodate. If your shrink is okay with it, I've had some therapists that would call people to explain why it happened, and how to avoid it, and vouch for me, allowing me to try again, but I've had some that won't do anything extra.

If you happen to get a nice professional, they may suggest multiple other options that are worth considering (other than the program), possibly even an 'in' with someone if they are proactive in the community. It sometimes is overwhelming for me to hear all of that at once, and most of them have been perfectly happy when I told them I just wanted to focus and see if the current path worked. I'd suggest always being up-front otherwise, though, mine always seemed confused or distracted, and liked to launch me on tangents.



Thank you for posting. I don't respond much (I tend to type way too much and not exactly answer questions), but it is comforting to read that other people have trouble with things I think should be easy, and dislike myself for having trouble with. Hope it's some help.

First off, thank you very much for your reply, I really appreciate it. I'm afraid I didn't explain myself as clearly as I thought -- I actually still got food stamps, and was on them until they expired on December 31st of 2013. However, since I applied without having a job to begin with, I was automatically put onto a job search program that was mandatory to keep the stamps. I had no knowledge of this beforehand, and the news of it hit me in the face. I was a complete wreck for the two weeks leading up to the program. While attending the program, they told us that we are forced to apply to 15 (I think that was the number) businesses every month for the entire year.
I panicked because first of all, I do not have a car. I used public transit for ten years and hated every minute of it, because I was in a constant state of panic on the train/bus. Public transit is one of my known triggers, so I want to outright avoid it if possible... it upsets me enough that I get too anxious to sleep the night before I travel. Second, I never graduated highschool and have never been able to pass my GED test because of my shutdowns, I am ineligible for most jobs (unless I lie, which I've done on applications in my teens). Third, I know for a fact I cannot handle a cashier job, because I was forced into it at my old pet store job. The managers always commented on how I'm "visibly distressed" I was (duh??). Cashiers and customer service are the primary jobs in my part of town; fast food and small businesses.

I worked for a pet store for 7 years as an opener for all the animals (which took me an hour to travel to via public transit). Dealing with customers was highly stressful up until the time I left, and I never became used to it... whenever someone talked to me, I immediately started shaking and stuttering. I had a hard time dealing with the schedule and time requirements of getting things done before 10am, even though I moved as fast as I could, and the managers often "talked" with me, scolding me for being slow or doing things wrong. Basically, from the time I started there til when I quit, I was in a constant state of anxiety. I quit because it was affecting my health, and now I have a head of grey hair at age 28 to prove it.

My boyfriend is buying my food, now, because the stamps expired. I am afraid to apply again because I know I will have to attend the program again, which scares the heck out of me. They flat out say on the papers they send you that "you are exempt if you have so-and-so wrong with you and a doctor sends us a note saying you are incapable of attending this program".

I've spilled my life situation and my issues on other Aspergers forums, and have been told by a handful of people that I should apply for disability for my own quality of life, my family has said as much as well. I hated the idea at first, but after trying to find a job nearby me that doesn't involve cashiering or people-related work, I have warmed up to the idea a bit. I figure it's worth a shot, right? The people who deal with all that stuff are professions and know who is deserving and who is not.

I just don't understand how to get to the point of applying. I would feel very rude if I showed up at a shrink appointment, hand him my notebook of issues, get my diagnosis, and then ask for a little note saying "_______ sucks at life, please allow her to be eligible for __________". It just feels wrong, I don't like it. How can I possibly ask a doctor I've never seen before for this type of assistance?

Ahe?

If your aim is to be officially diagnosed as having Asperger's, you should really go to someone who specializes in autism, not a generalist.

That's my suggestion.

Yup! In fact, my state insurance specifies that they will help find a specialist for you, and the autism spectrum was on their specialist list. I would like an official diagnosis for my anxiety, as well, which I'm sure a specialist can do in addition to autism. I am not comfortable with my diagnosis from the general practitioner I went to ten years ago, although I think that helps my case quite a bit... being so bad I get physical symptoms :\ Almost all of my anxiety stems off my main condition, and I think I have social anxiety, but it would be nice to get a solid opinion on that.

Are you applying for disability now? You can do that before you see a specialist. Usually they will refer for evaluation if needed. Then when you see a specialist you can ask for help with understanding what's wrong as well as with how to try to make this better. It is overwhelming, but at least that way you asking people to do what they specialize in and usually there is less disappointment and frustration.

Not yet, but as soon as possible. I am concerned that I lack the initial groundwork, as I have never once seen a shrink. I have very little medical history at all, I don't even have the records of my anxiety diagnosis I got previously, the clinic doesn't keep that information long-term, and I was a stupid teenager at the time, I never thought to ask for them.

If you can, do let us know how it turns out. I'm interested in the path that works and resolves all of this as well (fear I may soon be in the same position).