Are there some tale-tell signs of AS that fade with age?

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My son seems to have a delay from hearing a question to answering. (I think he is repeating the question in his head first.) I am reminded of a couple things from when I was younger that might be similar for me. Like my mom always yelling at me to quit saying "what", when i knew what she had said. (but when I said what I really didn't know what she had said. It just took long enough for me to say "what" for it to sink in.) I also remember my swimming class teacher praising me for taking such care to "think carefully" of my answer before I would say "yes, I can do that." I will have to ask my husband if I still do this, I guess. (Didn't even realize it was there until thinking about the "noted delay" to my son's responses on her chart.) He seems to have a 3-5 second delay, then will give a minimal of a literal "yes", "no", or "I just don't know the answer to that." answer. Although hours later, or the next day he will spontaneously bring up the subject and a more detailed answer might come. (He hears a lot more than he lets on at the time. haha.)

"Are there some tale-tell signs of AS that fade with age?"

I wonder this myself. When I was a child, I think I could've been described as a textbook case of Asperger's. But now, as an adult, I think I've lost some of the telltale signs. Of course, there are some signs that are ever-present (e.g., echolalia/palilalia). So, I don't know.

I don't think there are any common specifics that fade with age. Everyone makes individual choices that lead to different learning experiences, which leads them to making choices that are yet-again different. This must result in similarly-aged adults showing different directions/degrees of "classic-AS" pathology. I know that I've gradually resolved many things that other people are still having problems with - I'd guess that other people can comepare themselves to me in a similar manner.

The older people get the less they care about the differences or defects of other people. Same difference?

I concur with Flismflop. Some things can fade, but it varies and other things can intensify as we age. So it might be a wash.

Z

"Are there some tale-tell signs of AS that fade with age?"

Yes. As we become more well-adapted, the "disability" aspect of our condition becomes more invisible.

I think the conversational delays are extremely common amongs HFAs. My conversational pace is a little slower then NTs because I need a moment to think about what the other person has said, and then I need a moment to think about what I want to say. I think it's because we process language through the cognitive part of our brain, because of delayed development in the part of the brain that normally processes language. I think.

Here's another question in the same vein, do you NOTICE your delays, or is it someone else who is noticing them for you? I never connected that I might have a slight delay until looking back at other people's responses to me. I may still have a small delay because I have to say "sorry, I heard you, just took a moment to sink in." often. Learning all sorts of new things about myself recently :S. fun fun fun.

I don't think my 8 year old notices his delays either. Sometimes I have to ask him "did you hear me honey?" because he is taking a little while to get an answer out, and I can't tell if he actually did hear me or not. He has less eye contact than me, and doesn't look at you directly while speaking. Only to make sure he has your attention then he will look away again. He kind of skims your face to make sure you are listening occasionally during longer conversations.

I've recently become very self aware of the eye contact thing after reading about the tell-tale signs of Asperger's Syndrome. I force myself to make some eye contact, but oh my goodness I can feel people staring at me when I speak to them. haha. I force myself to meet their gaze, but it's like I am cowed or something. I feel like they see way too deep. You know, maybe that is part of why some Asperger's Syndrome people have problems reading facial expressions, they are so used to NOT looking at faces.

I think this is called "growing up." We never really lose AS but, like others, we do, hopefully, grow out of certain things.

Unless you are differentiating aspies from HF-autists, I would have to give a dissenting opinion of that. I think that I've overcome a lot of the conversational delays, just from realizing that I did them and then wanting to be accepted - with success in that surely starting to come by the time I was age 30 (I'm 37 now), with further improvements happening along the way after that. Compound that with my discovery of AS not happening until I was 36. People don't have carbon copy ambitions and resulting experiencees, so I gather that eveyone displays individual degrees/directions of things like language delay as they age.

In my case it's different, I got worse with age.

Heck, I may have been applying what I said only to situations of when I'm conversing with people whom I want to be around (which is usually what people gravitate towards as they age). I drive at the speed limit all the time, now, but if I were to be stopped by a police officer for some infraction, I probably WOULD have the speech delay. Arrrggg.

Last edited by Flismflop on 07 Mar 2008, 1:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I notice this hearing-delay. But that may be, because for me they vary between no delays and sometimes, there are delays of a couple of seconds. I just don't notice in the very moment when I ask what exactly has been said. My brain is probably busy making out the message or something. I learned to ask 'what's right away and it's the first thing that comes to mind, even before the realisation of what was said to me and the realisation that there was a hearing delay that I could have just waited out instead of prompting the other person to repeat themselves again.

But I cannot remember whether I recognised this delay as a child at all. I don't think so or else I probably wouldn't have learned to ask this spontaneous and rude 'what'.

im sure once i get away from my family i will become more able and less disabled

I too was always saying 'what' as a child, to the extent that people inquired about my hearing - sometimes I knew what they had said and it just took a short delay to understand it. Other times I couldnt even understand it for some strange reason and had to get them to repeat it several times before the words sorted themselves out and percolated through to my brain. Despite being intelligent, I am still very slow with conversation and discussions and really need time to think of good answers (why I find internet courses so good). I still have this delay sometimes - only the other day someone said 'Hi' to me and it took me about 5 seconds to reply because I needed to process it first. In fact, often, I end up not saying Hi back to someone because it is too late by the time I have processed it to speak. Hence people think I am being rude.

Other symptoms have improved with age though. My rigidity to routines is much more relaxed now than it was a few years ago, partly because of a year spent travelling (an obsession I had for a while, hence it overcame my dislike of change from routine), and equally my sensitivity to sounds whilst sleeping.

I have things that have gotten better with age. My sensitivities have decreased in some ways because I have been exposed to so many of the inputs multiple times, that I've learned to tune them out so to speak. I also think that some things have gotten worse. My ability to cope with certain emotional inputs has definitely lessened and I don't seek these inputs as much. So, perhaps it's a matter of avoiding certain things and then not realising that this also delays my ability to cope with those things when they come up. Dunno.

Other things I've developed beautiful coping mechanisms and like many adult AS kids I've made my whole life a series of modifications and accommodations.

It can go either way.

Problems might lesson with age because older Aspies have better learned how people and the world works, realize that it is not realistic to be too self indulgent, and are better at emulating normalcy almost to the point of it being natural. Children of all neurotypes tend to be more emotionally driven and act more like their natural self without thinking about it.

Or maybe things will worsen with age because with adulthood comes additional responsibilities and potential stress factors.