having babies: what is your decision?

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personally, im not taking the chance of having babies, the risk of me becoming overwhelmed, failing and or abusing my children.

i dont know how long this decision will last regarding im only 17. but its a logical decision and i hate it when my dad tries to change my mind.

I don't want kids and will never have them.

I actually gave birth to one when I was your age but I didn't want it and never held it and didn't bring it home from the hospital. An adoption agency came to see me in the hospital to give it to them and pick out a family from a book of couples waiting to adopt.

Psychologists told me not to get a baby as I cannot function enough to provide a baby with its needs.
Share their opinion.
Do no feel like "having a baby", I have no concept for it.

My baby is 22 this year...


...and has a baby of her own now...



I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world.

Last edited by Willard on 03 Feb 2014, 1:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'd love a baby to care for, but I don't relish the idea of being married to somebody at the same time. I feel like I could relate to a baby or small child without a problem, but Idk about an adult partner. Secondly, I love playing with little kids at parties or when I babysit, but I don't know if I could handle doing it constantly day in and day out without capitulating/melting down from the stress and anxiety and always second-guessing myself.

I'll know when I'm ready though, I suppose.

Not made up my mind yet, but I find it hard to believe I will find someone to mate with. I wouldn't want more than one child.

I've never wanted children. They need and deserve so much time and attention, and I need so much time to myself, that just wouldn't work out. If I did have a child, I firmly believe its needs should come first, and I honestly don't think I could cope with that, which would be bad both for the child and for me.

But it's not just a rational decision - I've never felt any desire for a child and don't find babies particularly cute, so I guess I just completely lack the instinct for it.

I've decided not to get married and have children a long time ago. It would have been very hard for me to do. The more people pushed the subject, the more I stood my ground. While I was working in the factory in the 90s, my same sex peers would keep pushing the issue with me. I told them I wasn't interested. I'd rather live the life of a man than be married with a family. People can think I'm Gay all they want. For me to be married to a man would be like a man being married to a man.

In the past couple of years I took in two kittens that although they could go to the bathroom on their own and eat solid food were really too young to be away from their mother. It was really difficult and stressful taking care of them. With the first one who was younger and a bit sickly I wasn't even getting enough sleep and was barely eating and lost weight.

Even now my cats drive me nuts sometimes and I have to shut myself in a bedroom to get away from them. I also worry about them a lot and get upset if I can't find them, even though they are indoor cats, even if no one went in or out since the last time I saw them meaning that they have to be somewhere in the apartment and couldn't have slipped out.

If I had to take care of a human baby, especially by myself, I'd probably snap and hurt it or just leave. I couldn't handle all the crying and neediness and disgusting bodily fluids that need cleaning up.

Edit - fix quote placement

Aww, I didn't know you were a dad and a grandpa, Willard. They are so cute!

For me, I could never do it, but I love little babies and kids, just not full time.

PS - I'm too old now anyway!

Last edited by wozeree on 02 Feb 2014, 8:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I don't know. I haven't ruled it out.

I don't have any kids and it's probably too late for me anyway.

I already have two (one on the way). I don't regret it.

It's too late for me. I had a hysterectomy in 2012.

High-functioning.
Don't want children.
Couldn't handle them anyway.

This is exactly how it went for me. I was a single parent, and then had another child with a partner. It was like night and day. I'd have left town without telling him I was pregnant, if I knew how it was going to turn out.

The kids: no regrets whatsoever, best thing I could imagine.