Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Seikakuna
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jan 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 6

06 Feb 2014, 10:30 pm

It seems whenever I try and be as nice as I can to people they just start hating me. I dont know what im doing to get people so angry at me. Like today i asked my friend on WoW for some help in the game and he's like "Message me when you want to talk, its rude as f*** when you do this." I proceeded to apologize over and over telling him what a jerk i was for asking for help and not saying hi. I just dont remember to do it. I'm honestly fed up with trying with other people cause its always just never enough for them. And this was only the 2nd time i asked him for help and i always make sure its ok with him.



Sare
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 146
Location: Sydney, Australia

06 Feb 2014, 11:11 pm

By message does he mean private message instead of in-game? meaning you spoke to him in world (public) chat. Perhaps he was preoccupied with playing and you interrupted him, so he'd prefer that you ask him for help through private message. People swear when frustrated, but that doesn't mean the person hates you or is always angry with you. People get over it. It's best to just apologise once for interrupting - Don't over-apologise to people! For instance, just say 'I'm sorry I came across as rude, it wasn't my intention. I will try to remember to message you from now on'. And leave it at that. Don't fall into the bad habit of appeasing others, as people will walk all over you if you do it too often.

I do not consider you a jerk for making that kind of mistake. I think that the stress of the situation is causing you to over-react a bit and be a bit too pedantic - things will be okay! Was this the first time he responded in this way? If so, it's important not to box people into the 'they hate me category' based on one incident alone. To me, it just shows that you're a bit sensitive to negative responses and you allow that response to dictate any future interaction you have with that person (or you may decide to 'burn a bridge' to avoid being hurt again). That type of attitude (belief system) creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you find it challenging to respond to people who seem upset with you?


_________________
I have thrown "normal" out the window.


Seikakuna
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jan 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 6

06 Feb 2014, 11:20 pm

Sare wrote:
By message does he mean private message instead of in-game? meaning you spoke to him in world (public) chat. Perhaps he was preoccupied with playing and you interrupted him, so he'd prefer that you ask him for help through private message. People swear when frustrated, but that doesn't mean the person hates you or is always angry with you. People get over it. It's best to just apologise once for interrupting - Don't over-apologise to people! For instance, just say 'I'm sorry I came across as rude, it wasn't my intention. I will try to remember to message you from now on'. And leave it at that. Don't fall into the bad habit of appeasing others, as people will walk all over you if you do it too often.

I do not consider you a jerk for making that kind of mistake. I think that the stress of the situation is causing you to over-react a bit and be a bit too pedantic - things will be okay! Was this the first time he responded in this way? If so, it's important not to box people into the 'they hate me category' based on one incident alone. To me, it just shows that you're a bit sensitive to negative responses and you allow that response to dictate any future interaction you have with that person (or you may decide to 'burn a bridge' to avoid being hurt again). That type of attitude (belief system) creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you find it challenging to respond to people who seem upset with you?
He's a friend i've talked to in the past. same thing happened to another person in the game. He just started not talking to me and acted like he hated me, removing him from his friends list. I really dont remember what i could of done wrong. And he wasnt busy. Its just for me it seems to be the little things that get people upset with me regardless of how nice i try to be.



bumble
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,073

07 Feb 2014, 3:26 am

I don't understand people either. I am often confused by them and find being around them very upsetting because of their strange unexpected responses to things. I don't know what I can and can't do around other humans anymore so I just avoid them for the time being and stay in my own world where I understand things.



thumbhole
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2014
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 230

07 Feb 2014, 5:34 am

^ Ditto.



Sare
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 146
Location: Sydney, Australia

07 Feb 2014, 5:51 am

Hmm, what were the little things that upset those people? It's hard to say what you did wrong without being there - what things did you do that you thought were right, but received a bad response for? Are you sometimes too nice?


_________________
I have thrown "normal" out the window.


pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

07 Feb 2014, 6:11 am

Seems like it's that person's problem. I've learned some people aren't worth worrying over. Move onto the next person. In my experience gamers are the most rude. I suppose because maybe they're talking to you from their room and they can take off the mask they usually wear in society. While we may have no mask in society or even online. I find it easier to put on a mask online though. I'm not doing it now btw.

People with autism seem to have difficultly getting along with people on WoW. My own friends came to me seeking advice about whether I thought this kid with AS was being deliberately rude or not.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/