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This is going to sound like an odd question and I don't mean it in an offensive way so I ask people to be patient when reading it please.

Is there any where to go for people who had developmental differences growing up, whom are not officially diagnosed with an ASD, whom have social difficulties and are depressed but who cannot connect with other people with mental health problems due to huge differences in their style of thinking and belief systems?

I am not able to cope with corresponding with most depressed people as I do not believe in worthlessness (and no one seems to be able to explain it to me in a way that makes any kind of logical sense to me) and do not know what to do and say to them when they talk about their 'feelings'. I just feel uncomfortable and want to go away, not because I don't care about their pain, but I just don't really understand what they are talking about.

I don't know what feeling worthless feels like, but not because of feelings of superiority as people seem to think. I don't believe in superior or inferior either. Just difference, likes, dislikes, preferences, compatibility etc. I shall explain (or try to, bear with me I have a migraine coming I think...my eyesight has gone blurry, I am struggling with my grammar today (finding the words I want and arranging them) and my head and neck are starting to hurt particularly on the left hand side).

Ie to explain how my mind works. When I was at college I did a practical experiment where I had to putrefy some salad vegetables. For some reason (which I have forgotten now) my experiment did not work whereas other peoples did. On discovering this my reaction was as follows:

1 I had a moment of disappointment....had hoped it would work out

2 I started to wonder why my experiment had failed

3 I became distracted by the question "why did my salad vegetables not putrefy"

4 I forgot about my disappointment and went away and did more research

5 I found the answer to my question (although I can't remember it now) and wrote it up

6 I handed the write up from my experiment in to my teach and passed regardless of the fact that my practical went wrong. My write up was (in my tutors words) 'brilliant' and I had found the reason as to why my experiment had gone wrong. I don't consider it a failure for that reason. Firstly I passed (went on to pass the overall course with an A) secondly I did what I had set out to do...increase my knowledge and understanding.

This is how my brain works...

Problem/failure, disappointment, get distracted trying to figure out why....I like to know how things work, I like to understand them and so become distracted. It is a good job I don't have an interest in electronics otherwise I'd have all the household electrical goods in pieces trying to figure them out!

At no point does my brain go from disappointment to beating up on myself to self hatred to feeling worthless. I honestly do not understand that line of thinking or even see its purpose. I am not trying to be nasty, it just seems senseless and pointless and is in no way useful in the problem solving process or in terms of helping one further understand the problem.

Ergo I become incredibly emotionally distressed when faced with a forum board of depressed people who keep trying to emotionally console me for emotions or thoughts I am not having. I cannot and will not go to these places (I am very sorry but the emotional distress I experience as a result of their inappropriate and unsolicited consolations for thought processes that don't exist in my world is just too upsetting to me for reasons I don't yet fully understand) so I wondered if there was anywhere else?

I am depressed but more in the sense that I feel powerless to change my social problems. I have put forth my best attempt and it has failed. I am not so much upset about the failure itself though as I am about the consequences of the failure such as my inability to find a meaningful relationship and the crippling pain of loneliness. I feel like I can't connect with anybody or as though I don't relate to or identify with anyone at all. It's like I am the last human alive in a way...I may as well be, I seem to be the only one like me, the only one who thinks like me, the only one who does not have that belief system (the whole worthlessness thing etc). I feel as though there is no one out there I can relate to. Even on this board I don't feel like I fit. I don't feel like there is anywhere in this world for me.

I don't want a pet, I am not always good at remembering to feed other critters (even plants...I kept forgetting to water them and they died so I rarely buy real ones anymore, I feel sorry for them and would rather they went to a home that won't accidentally kill them because their mommy forgot to give them a drink), especially if I get distracted messing around with my hobbies and I don't have the freedom to just go away for weekends (I like to travel as long as my routines bend around it) without having to find places for the pet to stay etc. Plus a pet can't hold a conversation with me, we can't exchange interesting information and laugh together. And having a pet for me makes it worse as it just highlights the fact that no human wants me, despite the fact I have never hurt anyone in my life or done no real wrong or harm (I have made mistakes like any human and occasionally have said things that have hurt peoples feelings, but it was not usually intentional. The only time I lashed out at anyone was in self defense in my teens and once verbally when I mistakenly thought someone was being nasty to me and even then I did no real harm. Even when I physically lashed out at someone who was being aggressive towards me I did not even use enough force to bruise them). I have not broken the law, I don't commit any crimes. I am just a bit quirky with a non mainstream way of thinking and yet I am treated worse by society than some criminals are.

Would I be more respected by people if I did break the law, would someone want me then? I don't want to have to do things like that. I didn't even want to drink when I used to but people kept complaining that I was socially boring because I don't like the effects of alcohol (it makes me feel yacky).

I am rambling...

Anyway, any support forums for the non traditionally couldn't develop like everyone else depressed person out there?

I don't feel worthless either. Surely not everyone here does?

I get depressed because my circumstances are such that logical "problem solving" doesn't work. They're too complex and too much is out of my hands.

Last year, I attempted psychotherapy, but the therapist pretty much gave up because of the complexity of my situation and because there's not really much to treat if the patient doesn't feel worthless and his/her life is objectively depressing ...

maybe http://www.psychforums.com/ ?

facebook has a lot of good disability groups,worth having a look if are on fb.
if woud like any recommended can pm the ones am on.

I don't know of any other forums, but I relate to what you said about worthlessness. I believe I am of equal value to every living being in this universe, so 'worthlessness' is a non-issue to me.

As for the loneliness – this might not be helpful to anyone else, but I've learned to simply accept the fact that I'm unable to feel close to anyone – the way a person in a wheelchair accepts that they're not going to be able to walk. But it's possible to still find happiness in life, without these things.

For me, happiness is about focusing on the things that bring me joy – such as my special interests – and accepting that you can't have everything in life. I don't have real friends, but I have awesome imaginary friends. I can't relate to living, mortal human beings, but I have a rich spiritual life.

Like I said, I don't know if that helps anyone else. It's really just kind of an attitude – that if there truly is no solution to your problem, you need to accept it, and learn to find happiness in other ways. It might not be the right answer for other people, but it's helped me a lot!

Bumble, what you describe in yourself is very subtle. I suppose most of us who read that you feel trapped because of your external situation make the leap to assume there is a problem with your interior sense of yourself, with the result that a number of us can seem condescending in our efforts to encourage you.

If you do indeed have good self-esteem, then draw from that strength and better yourself. I recall you, perhaps it was 3 months ago, going on about a dreary job you had which is far beneath your capabilities. If you have the interior sense of worth, and if as you indeed are, highly gifted intellectually, it would be wonderful for you to pursue higher studies. It is my understanding that in the UK (unlike in the US) university costs are very reasonable.

I have encountered many people in graduate level programs who are undoubtedly less intelligent than you. Why don't you (as they say) go for the gold?