Problems finding your voice

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I haven't been having as much social contact recently as I usually have and my social mask I will call it has begun to rot away. It's gotten to the point now that I can't always find my voice to simply say hi, or hey, or hello. Instead I will open my mouth to say it but nothing will come out, or it comes out so low that no one can hear me say anything. Is this a problem for some of you as well?

Last edited by Scanner on 04 Feb 2014, 11:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

When I am distressed I sometimes lose my ability to speak. And sometimes the more anxious I get the worse my speech gets.

This happens to me a lot. Especially if I am caught off guard. Sometimes it's easier to just smile.

It's mostly off guard for me too. Like a lot of aspies I have to prep myself for oncoming social things so when it suddenly happens it's like whoa oh no. I was walking down the hallway and I was hoping this guys key would work (i was at a hotel) because I saw him messing with it but it didn't work and I was thinking oh no he is going to turn around and probably say hi what will I say? Anyway he ended up saying "how are you doing" which always catches me off guard because I hear people say "hey what's up" or "i'm good you" and they're just so different to that response. So I got lost and said hi but I wasn't sure of it so it like squeaked out inaudible.

I have a chronic condition called selective mutism that makes me like that.

If you feel a period of not socializing much makes your voice get fainter, what you could try doing is getting a tape recorder and just talking into it. Not a pretend conversation, just whatever thoughts are on your mind. This way, you're still "practicing" talking even though there's no one there. And you're not simply talking to yourself as it's being recorded.

I used to do this years ago with microcassette tapes, mainly to help me articulate my thoughts verbally without another person there to judge or misinterpret me.

this is interesting, happens less now as I'm in my fifties but yes it was all thro my chldhood and teenage years into twenties. luckily i have talent and ability (obsessive of course) in several areas and importantly in an area that can be turned into work, a livelihood. But i was always at my lowest when among other ppl, school and then eight years working amongst others, and yes it was hell. even in my earlier or alll school years, non of the dummies or adults noticed or bothered that heres a kid with difficulties, life held no joy for me when among ppl.

i know exactly how it is when u have no 'physical voice' and its as i no 'mental voice' no ability to add or join in with the chatter or BS of others. it was crippling actually.

I still feel so angry no-one noticed me or offered help.

but i now realise those years of five to sixteen and to a certain extent the additional eight years working in someone elses business .... the problem was at school i was ahead of the numskulls that surrounded me ie maturity, interests, ability and the the same much applied at the eight years that followed in working life... i was ahead of them all and deserved better ... but remember theres no justice in this world, the best that you can hope for is to 'arrange' and create the environment that suits you, get rid of the trash. no role model to speak of as my father being some sort of ret*d hick ... my apologies to hicks. I'm speaking as a 56 year old that has worked hard and taken what could be seen as the 'lonely' different route but in fact it suits me perfectly. The only time loneliness wld strike was if i was in the company of others as many ppl here realise already.

So you see, it never really was my 'fault' .... merely being in an unsuitable situation. It has taken me until the last few months to realise this, ie half a century. Recent experience of the place i spent ten years at school also confirms again it was not my 'fault'.

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I have a really deep/quiet voice around people I don't know well, and a higher/somewhat louder but still quiet one around friends/family. I have a hard time talking as low as I do around unfamiliar people outside of those circumstances, it's weird.