Can't/won't fulfill all expectations

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I saw my cardiologist today and we discussed various issues--she gets to know you pretty well. She tells me I'm so smart and well-learned on various issues, I should apply myself. I then remember all those times, like that one time when that guy back in 2009 tried to take me on as his apprentice international salesperson. I shied away from it.

I think it's because I know I can't/won't fulfill all these demands and expectations that get put onto me. I like to have the least engagement, connection to others, so that I can act independently. I don't trust anyone to have such control over my decisions.

This is a good mantra.
I don't like to be influenced by anyone, unless they have good reasons for their view. Sometimes people seem to think that they have a right to effect my behaviour. Like I'm doing something wrong and they are right to try to influence me. I find this very arrogant.

I'm not sure what she means by "apply yourself." Did she have any specific goals in mind?