Do some social interactions come very easily for you?

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They usually don't for me, but when it comes to giving information it is very easy for me. If they need directions, or ask a question about something I can easily give them the information they need and it's not so nerve racking, if they say "hey how are you" though... that's a different story.

I'm the opposite. I'm much better at "hey how are you?", because it's a script. I can easily follow a script, but once they get past the script, I'm a mess. I get anxious about what they may ask me or talk to me about.

Yes, it's a problem when asked an open-ended question; I just usually bluff it with the standard answers: "I'm fine, thanks, how are you?" or if something interesting is happening to me mention that. Most of the time, people are just being polite; for example, if they arrive where you work and you are showing them to a part of the building they feel that they (or you) have to talk about something.

If it's any help, what I have done in recent years is read the BBC news page (you can use whatever is appropriate for where you live; e.g., CNN, Al-Jazeera) during breakfast. This is just for something to read, but it does give me an overview of topical things happening in the area, especially if there is a local news section as well.

Thus I will sometimes choose something topical but not too dangerous and say "Hey, did you see on the news that..."; for example, the recent storms are OK unless the person you are with talks about their home flooding; in which case go for something else such as the winter olympics; I steer clear of nasty" topical things such as Jimmy Saville or horrible murders, because many people don't want to think about them and I'm not exactly happy talking about such things myself.

It sounds pointless and in a way it is, but it serves a purpose of avoiding embarrassing silences. I just wish there was something better.

Last edited by IKnowWhoIAmNow on 14 Feb 2014, 7:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It depends. I can talk to people. I talk to my mother, to my husband. I have talked to strangers on the train because they started talking to me.

If you asked me as a child if I find them easy I would have said yes because I could talk to people and talk to my friends despite how hard I found it when it came to social chit chat in groups and my friends wanting to do nothing but talk or how about when people just sit around and social chit chat and I do my own thing. Ask me now as an adult, I just say it depends.

I usually say I'm fine or good without asking how they are. Since I genuinely don't care I forget that I should still ask. I know they don't care how I am so I find the whole thing odd. Why can't they just say hey or hi if I'm not doing well idk what to say sometimes lol. I smile awkwardly and nod without saying anything too often as well. "hey how are you" and I usually reply with an awkward smile and a nod or hi.

Last edited by Scanner on 13 Feb 2014, 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, I found that to be true working in tattoo shops and at the last one, it drove the pushy owners to distraction, because they expected everybody to run up to customers as soon as they walked in the door and play the hardsell used car salesman, which I cannot do. Once somebody asks me a question - especially one involving a personal interest subject, I'm off and running and can chat freely - but THEY have to initiate the conversation, otherwise I'm effectively mute.

I am usually frozen as well. I don't start conversations either. I once went downstairs while at my uncle's house and his wife had people over and I didn't know and I smiled nodded walked to the kitchen which is in view of the living room sat at the table behind a corner and stayed there. I had to pee very urgently but I couldn't walk by them again or use the bathroom downstairs because then they would see me.

Some conversations are very easy.

Most are not.

I haven't figured out why yet.

Yes. My endocrinologist does not believe I am autistic.

Yes. Here are kinds of interaction I do well at:

* interacting with nonverbal/minimally verbal individuals, or animals
* comforting someone dealing with a stressful life experience
* explaining concepts in terms a layperson (or even a child) can understand

Anything else is a struggle for me, but in those specific situations I tend to excel.

No...But I'm getting better at it for the most part.

yeah it is much easier for me to do this, answer a question or ask a question type interaction.
But i start to fail when it comes to back and forth conversing in PM.
And there is still no way I can do live chat.

When it comes to therapists and teachers im able to converse better.
A: am more comfortable with them
B: they know how to communicate with me.

I easily go into scripted-mode for banal social interactions such as passing greetings, elevators, directions, and so on.

I think this is because both of my parents were extroverted sales people. I was frequently in their company and so experienced having that behavior constantly modeled in front of me.

Of particular importance was learning how to break-off such interactions before they progressed beyond the customary back-and-forth and into real conversation where I was less comfortable.

Social interactions around predetermined topics are much easier for me. Like many others here, I struggle with open-ended questions. As someone else mentioned, keeping up on current events helps, and since I'm very fact-oriented and like to read, it's kind of fun.
Approaching strangers is very hard. Overly outgoing people also stress me out. Small talk with people I know well and see frequently is usually possible. With strangers, it's much harder, often impossible.

I wouldn't say they are "easy" but yes it is easier for me to give information or to have a specific reason to talk to someone than it is to have an open ended conversation.

I am asked for directions a lot while I am working and I am mostly good at that because I know the roads very well, but I have to think about it. I notice when other people give directions they rattle them off pretty quickly, and sometimes they are wrong or they misunderstood what the person was asking and I can step in and correct that. But right or wrong, they are able to summarize the directions faster than I do, in very simple terms, whereas I have to think about to phrase them.

When I talk to coworkers, or other people who do a job similar to mine, it is easy to find things to talk about because we talk about work. But I still have to think about every little aspect of it like whether or not I am talking too much, or too little, or how to end the conversation.

When people talk about things I don't have in common with them it is hard to find things to say.

I'm fine in small groups of familiar people, although I do tend to try to monopolize conversations, if the subject interests me.

In a large group, I tend to hang on the sides, and watch/listen to others, although I will exchange brief pleasantries with someone who comes up to me. If they want to chat about something I have no interest in, I become Mr. Uh-Huh.