NT vs. AS

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I've seen a lot of people on these forums take an us vs. them mentality....autism, being a spectrum disorder and all shouldn't be painted black and white....We're trying to fight intolerance here, but they're just making it worse...many people whom they assume to be neurotypical might have some form of autism. "Aspie" shouldn't be a badge of honour, it's just the way your brain is wired, it doesn't entitle you to anything.

Why should we have to tailor our words? Let people say what they want to say. They deserve it.

I agree with both of you. While NT's aren't all the mean scumbags we meet/met at school and/or work, there are those who are, and are the pricks who need a lesson taught.

It's kinda like blaming everyone in Germany for WWII.

Still, its not good feeling that you have to keep it secret from others.

Being an aspie entitles me to Life, Liberty, and the Persuit of Happiness. Many people think otherwise.

Proud to be me, if you have a problem with that, it's your problem, not mine.

There is an unfortunate amount of animosity towards NTs on the part of some members.

I agree with Charles and MrMark. Although I have had a lifetime so far of difficulties and indeed, suffering due to my differences, I can also see enough shades that I can see there are a myriad of different kinds of 'NT' and some are more tolerant than others, just the same as those with ASDs come in a variety of temperaments. Having a set of traits does not make one a clone or a part of some mass conglomerate.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the NT vs. AS issue.

All of my friends are NTs. They are fabulous people. In my life I’ve met my share of horrible NTs but my friends are great. They know I have Asperger’s and it doesn’t matter to them (in a good way).

As far as I know I’ve never met another Aspie—I think it might be interesting though.

My girlfriends have all been NTs. There have been good girlfriends and bad ones.

My last one was bad. (Now, for a former girlfriend story!)

We dated from January of 2004 until May of 2005. In the summer of 2004 she said a friend of from Norway was going to visit her over Spring Break of 2005. After he visited her she said she thought it would be best if we put our relationship on "Hold" as she called it so that we could evaluate our relationship. She said her sister and husband did that for about 6 months while they were dating and then they resumed there relationship and got married.

We agreed that the relationship was on "Hold" for a bit but that we had not broken up. We discussed this again in May 2005 and once again agreed that the relationship was on "Hold" and that we had not broken up. We also agreed to talk again in the summer to see how things were going.

Well, I talked with her several times on the phone after that, asked her if she was dating someone,I even asked her if she was dating the Norwegian guy, and she said, “No.” So, I gradually gave up. Live and learn, I thought.

Well, the truth was she was dating the Norwegian guy. They got married a year after his Spring Break 2005 visit! I don’t know how they expect it to last though. He has a job in Norway and she is a professor at a small college in Wisconsin. I have friends who work there who tell me he does not want to move to the U.S. and she does not want to give up her job at the college. Oh, well. That’s their problem and it seems to be one without a solution.

Anyway, sorry for the long story but it shows that some NTs are not so cool. That being said, however, I adore my fabulous NT friends!

PaulW

Weird that she did that. Good that you saw it for what it was and just let it go!

ZanneMarie,

I don't know that I exactly saw it coming but I thought something was up. I hate to be bitter and petty but I hope her marriage to Norway boy doesn’t last.

PaulW

I've felt the 'us vs them' attitude around here quite strongly, and I'm not sure it's remarkably beneficial. I know a lot of people have been treated disgustingly by 'them' and none of that behaviour should be excused for anything. No one has the right to treat another human unjustly or cause them any sort of pain.

Thing is though, people can pretty much sense when you've got a predetermined 'hangup'...they can tell if you hate them even when they've just spotted you. The 'us vs them' mentality does nothing but cause anger and hatred to the one with those ideas - it benefits no one. Yeah...people can actually sense what you're thinking just by looking at you.

It is like blaming all of Germany on WWII. There are some right bastards out there, but the thing is, most of them don't care if you have AS or not, it's just an EXCUSE for them to wail on someone, mentally or physically. These idiots get off on causing someone else strife, they don't care who you are, what you are or where you are.

What's better to remember is that we're all human, just different flavours thereof. So someone doesn't like pineapple, even if you are...big deal. There are plenty out there who love it. There's other pineapple flavoured people out there too! AS is just another flavour of human - a unique, interesting flavour that some more mediochre flavours will be jealous of or not find so palateable. That's their problem if they're just boring old vanilla We may all be different, but we're still all human

And from the point of view of the typical boring, uneducated NT...they don't know they're NT, they don't know what AS is. The AS vs NT war is fighting an opponent that doens't even know there's a war on. If they notice you're different at all, they don't know why. You're dealing with the ignorant here. So fighting this war is a bit one-sided...and if you engage in battle, likely to confuse or frustrate the opponent. It'd be better in the long run to find a way to make your flavour work well with the giant punch-bowl that is the human race. Lol...

ZanneMarie: “It's always better if you say, your future is irrelevant to me now.”

I’ll get to that point someday!!

PW