Hate getting a haircut - how to make it less traumatic?

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So, the little five year old with autism I take care of hates hair cuts SO much that even though I've never been told where he gets his hair cut, I know where it is, because every time we drive through that area of town he says "No hair cut!" His father says it's a bad experience for him, because he has to be held down screaming and crying just to get his hair cut. The whole process takes about seven minutes, he says, but obviously it's extremely traumatic for this little boy because he talks to me about it ALL THE TIME. No details (he can't really communicate details) but he's constantly telling me "no hair cut!" even though I've never taken him to get one.

Do you guys have any ideas on how to reduce the trauma of the experience? Either sensory or otherwise? The family keeps it a secret from him that's where he's going and then they just try to get it over with really fast and drive him straight home to wash off the hair.

Thanks!

BigSister

have they tried cutting his hair themselves? maybe he would be more comfortable at home.

Maybe that's part of the problem. He's learned that a haircut can be forced upon him at any time, with no warning, so he's always paranoid that this will be the day it happens.

Would it be possible for his parents to promise him never to surprise him like that, and to warn him in advance when he needs a haircut? Then maybe he'll learn to trust that it's something that happens every month or so, but that he doesn't have to be afraid of it every single day.

Maybe even ask him how many days' warning he wants – that way he might feel more in control of the situation, and part of the decision.

If he were a little older I'd recommend giving him the tools to cut it himself, the sensory issues might not be so severe and he can decide in his own time when it should be scheduled.

Maybe try this? As long as he's supervised.

I too hate going to the barbers, its almost like my scalp is a bloody erogenous zone and it feels horribly inappropriate to be touched there by someone who I don't already have intimate relations with. Would he be comfortable letting you cut his hair, or his parents?

I have allowed close friends and partners to cut my hair in the past, it's not so bad if I'm having my hair cut at home and there's someone available that I trust.

Cut it themselves. When I was a little kid my mom had to cut my hair for me because I also feared haircuts. Even though I'm a girl, my mom had to give me a boy haircut because I didn't like getting my hair brushed because it hurt SO much. I know that a buzz cut hairstyle can be pretty easy to maintain at home if you have the correct clipper. It should be done in the home in a safe place for him that he gets to choose, and there should be a reward at the end, and also make sure to give him a sensory toy to play with during the haircut or let him watch tv/movie. No one should hold down a child against their own will, that's extremely scary. When my parents have held me down in the past, I just resented them and feared them.

I'd use hair clippers and do small areas at a time slowly building to a full haircut over time.

Start with fringe, then fringe and around ears, then add neckline etc. etc.

Can't really think of anything that makes it better except for a lot of soothing and sympathetic talk.
My hair has always been done at home because trying to have a barber do it is just not practical.
For me the barber is just as bad as the doctor and dentist. But lots of soothing and comforting
and gentle sympathetic talk really helps. None of the "you are going to sit still for this and behave!"
type approach. And then they spoil me afterwards to offset the trauma.

This may be more than a minor issue. Personally I have not had my hair cut in about twenty years. I get away with this now as I am an artist and excentric is totally acceptable. When I was in the military I got my own clippers that had a preset length so I could cut my own hair and just showed up at the barber and they would sign off that my hair had been cut so I could get paid.

My sensory issues include being touched, someone moving my head and holding it in position. The sound of the scissors cutting hair around my ears. Ocassional tugs and pulling of hairs. It usually ended with some sort of scented product (I have serious odour sensitivities) being put on me which would need running home to try and wash it off. It didn't matter when I was younger if it was a stranger or a parent who cut my hair, my response with meltdowns was the same. My parents literally gave up and l had long hair all through school, they just made me make sure it was always clean.

My guess is that it is more of a being touched problem than the actual hair cut. How does the child react to doctors, dentists and others touching him? There is someone inside my space in a lot if these things, teeth cleaning and dental work is still a horrible experience that I barely make it through. My family doctor is very conscious of giving me lots of space as much as possible.

As a little kid I was guilty of the same thing, I used to scream the place down. My parents eventually found a barber who sang nursery rhymes to me whilst he worked and that seemed to do the trick. The little bag of sweets he gave each kid at the end probably helped as well.

R.I.P. Mr Mogford (yeah, I even remember his name)

I think the obvious solution is to not cut it.

This might teach the child a valuable lesson, actually. Other kids will invariably bring headlice into school.

Note I am not a parent.

I had long hair as a child and still do. I never had head lice the whole time I was in school.

I think I only had 3 haircuts in my entire life and not many more trims.

I hate haircuts as well.
The last time I went to an hairdresser was more than a year ago and I don't plan to go to one again soon.
I hate it because the lights there are too bright and also because to cut my hair they tell me how I should sit and I hate that.

I can't say I blame him either. I don't know why he doesn't like it but as a kid, I used to hate it.
The hair used to fall down the back of my top and prickle all down my back and I'd get a horrible, painful rash everywhere the hair went. It still prickles me, but now I'm older and more leathery, it's not so bad.

For some problems, there is no easy solution. Long hair or meltdowns appear to be your only 2 choices.

not certain about this but I get the idea he has a short haircut and they use the electric clippers that buzz and scream at you - I avoid all places that use these also - I can't even stand being in the same room when they use them on someone ELSE and when I had somewhat shorter hair they tried using them to trim the areas I had and I threw fits even though I was an adult.

you might try having his hair cut by someone who would just use scissors, and you are going to need to go someplace else since he does not trust that place anymore. Also advise whoever does it to go slower and not slam the scissors - I hate that sound also.

Let me see if I can get this right.

1. No buzzing clippers
2. Soft scissors (will be hard because he literally has to be held down screaming and the barber's probably just going to want to get it over with as fast as possible)
3. Try in the home.
4. Try an incentive at the end (candy, etc) and lots of soothing.
5. Warn the child beforehand.
6. Don't cut his hair. (I don't think that's going to happen, guys, but thanks anyways.)

Did I miss anything? This is all going to his parents.