My sensitivity to being disabled
Over the course of almost two years, I've stated on this forum that I was around the age of five or six I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS along with intellectual disability. Now recently the school has changed my intellectual disability label, which has been uplifting for me since it brings back memories of my mother calling me "special needs child". Still, this issue has been a struggle of mine since I feel like a "ret*d when it comes to important life skills such as preparing meals and tying my shoes. Times like these make me wish I had been a neurotypical adult with no limitationing. My social awkardness has been off putting for people at my school sincethey tend to try associating themselves with one group and ridiculing others who don't share the same special interest.
They'll be more stories from me that express this agony.
Last edited by autisticyoungadult on 20 Feb 2014, 12:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
I'm really insecure about my intelligence. I've been tested and the results come back as average yet I feel like I'm greater than that. My imagination is such that I can internalize complex situations(especially conflict and interpersonal conversations) featuring multiple people interacting with one another. I have a connection with emotional pain and anguish linked to my own. still raw, personal experiences. My creative abilities are focused primarily on a limited list of topics and are augmented by my lack of understanding when it comes to the world around me. I was a failure in public school, most subjects including math bored me and I just wanted to retreat into my skull. I feel your frustration because I've been there. In my early school days I fit in fine with everyone, even made two "best" friends. I didn't search for people with the same interests because I was immersed in my mental disorder(wasn't aware of it). My emotional instability saw to it that I was removed from mainstream society and confined to special education, I also didn't seem to retain information and still don't, though I desperately want to. My advice is to give up on trying to find someone just like you or even half similar and look for someone whose easy to get along with. Try to get to know them and make an effort to explore their interests. It is going to be tough and will suck a lot but it could be that you honestly have no other choice.
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I think I'm more sensitive than I realise to being "different." My mom asked me accusingly today (while driving me to the bus stop because I'd overslept) "Why is it you're so great at some things but so terrible at others?" and I started running through my head all the silly little mundane things I still struggle with, like deviating from my routine, keeping track of my things, maintaining good hygeine, etc, and just sort of wilted. My professor, also today, was introducing the concept of "mental illness", and the fact that it constituted: deficits in normal functioning, emotional distress, and risk of harm to self and others. The way she and the rest of the class were talking about it made me feel like the most incompetent person on the planet. I like to think I have a relatively thick skin, but I evidently don't when it comes to people unintentionally picking on me for my disability. I still take considerable offence to being called "weird" which happens rather more frequently for me than for anyone else in my family.
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Precisely. I wanted to tell her that, but it would have sounded too much like I was blaming the AS. Right or wrong, I didn't want to give her an "excuse" which she could then throw back at me.
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"Survival is insufficient" - Seven of Nine
Diagnosed with ASD level 1 on the 10th of April, 2014
Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!
Totally in the same boat; intellectually disabled, can't prepare stuff or tie shoes etc. a "special needs kid".
I know it kinda feels like being trapped in a prison.
But having gotten to know a huge group of neurotypicals on forum similar in design to this one,
the neurotypical with no limitations really does not exist. Would say a lot of the NT's have as difficult
time with life as I do in other ways. A lot of difficulties that having autism has saved me from experiencing.
Listening to them talk, there are times when I say, "thank god i'm not NT".
Totally in the same boat; intellectually disabled, can't prepare stuff or tie shoes etc. a "special needs kid".
I know it kinda feels like being trapped in a prison.
But having gotten to know a huge group of neurotypicals on forum similar in design to this one,
the neurotypical with no limitations really does not exist. Would say a lot of the NT's have as difficult
time with life as I do in other ways. A lot of difficulties that having autism has saved me from experiencing.
Listening to them talk, there are times when I say, "thank god i'm not NT".
You misread what I wrote in my introduction post, I'm not labeled as intellectual disabled according to what's on my current IEP, though the label doesn't just mean your in the <1 percentile of the population. Ineffciency in adaptive skills are common in individuals with intellectual disabilities, mostly I'm pretty sulf-sufficent in many ways except for those above listed examples. In fact, many people have trouble with some adaptive behavior despite the intelligence of the person.
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