I'm tired of people criticizing me for being sensitive

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I started a website recently. I am very driven and I want my purpose to spread to the entire world. It would take up too much to talk about here, but I want to use kawaii (a Japanese cultural phenomenon) to raise chronic illness awareness. I intend on raising aspergers and bipolar awareness too, but it is such a sensitive matter, and I am waiting to be in therapy a little longer before I go posting entries about it. I just want my therapist's help before I go talking about it publicly, ya know?

Anyway, I have a chronic illness that is very painful along with my aspereger's and my mood disorder. And I have had this internet troll post AWFUL things. The comments have to await moderation(by me) before they're made public, but there is no way to block people completely because it is a self hosted site through wordpress.

So on top of the troll saying things like "I seriously hope you get cancer and can experience true pain. You’re the weakest person iv’e met. You use your diseases as an excuse to be a lazy, whiny, uptight b***h. I feel for the people in your life. Post that on Facebook.", I have this girl in my comments telling me I am "overly emotionally sensitive". Uh no s***. I have aspergers. Everything from sense of smell, to my emotions are sensitive. I can't help it! I can't just "grow tougher skin". It's not happening.

I know I kind of live in a fantasy world where I want everyone who is bad to turn good, even though it's not true. I just want everyone to be nice. I am trying to raise illness awareness, and I get people criticizing me. It is so hard to upkeep a website, make youtube videos, take pictures of everything, writing and researching for my blog entries...it takes a lot out of me! I am in pain and I think I am pushing through as best I can, and it just gets me down that there are people who are criticizing me for this.

What is WRONG with people.

Yay, I'm overly sensitive and can't do anything to change it no matter how hard I try. People might as well tell me to get a brain transplant. Me pushing through my illness and disorders, to me, is as "thick skinned" as it gets. Can't anyone appreciate what I am doing? I just want to change the world. I know, such a tall order. Its delusional. I don't care. I want to try to change the world.

But should I get someone I trust, like my mom or boyfriend, to start moderating my comments for me? I'm never going to "get used to it", so I am wondering if this would be best.

Do you hate it when people criticize your sensitivity to emotion? Does it grind your gears? Because it sure does mine

Btw website in londonkittycane.com. I was gonna share it with y'all, but it haven't covered Aspergers yet. I just need more time to learn about myself before I do so. Or am I just...putting off the inevitable because I am scared of people saying things like "you're too sensitive, get over it, grow up"...

Advice...friendly advice please. Please please pretty please, be nice. Don't make me feel bad for being sensitive like everyone else. That's why I came here. Because I'm on the wrong planet

Hi Londonopolis,
I know how it feels when people criticize your sensitives. I have had people do that to me too. It really gets to me because they have no concept of how things feel for us and we can't just "get over it" or turn it off.

I would definitely have someone else mod for you. I think it's too much for you to do it yourself. It's too stressful. What you are trying to do to spread awareness is noble and I admire you for that. I think it's great. But you have to protect yourself too. You can't let yourself get over stressed or that will damage you. I am a very sensitive person too and I know it is hard because we get stressed very easily but you have to do your best to not give yourself too many stressful situations. Your mom might be a good choice for a mod because she can really support you and care about you in ways that others can't.

I wish you much success in your venture.

Yep I'm tired of it and just recently one of these people to do this very thing was a member of WP. You'd think they know better, but nooooooooooooope.

Why do you even take comments? People on the Internet (other than WP, which stays pretty civil) are nasty, obnoxious, petty, cruel little toads and the vast majority of them are too stupid to compose a coherent thought. If it were my site, I wouldn't solicit nor accept random comments. If they don't like the info posted, they're free to surf elsewhere and troll someone who's interested in reading their hateful snarking. I say insulate yourself and ignore them. If they can't post the comment, you don't have to read it.

I absolutely love your website. Your writing style is eloquent, yet accessible to most readers; also, you are extremely kawaii. The post about the trip to WalMart really touched me. You are incredibly strong for dealing with what you deal with, and you deal with it in fairly good stride, I must say.

Those comments are incredibly gruesome and impolite (especially the one wishing you cancer). If it helps any, try to look at the comments as a reflection of their own lack of insight (though, as a sensitive myself, I know that looking at something in an objective manner and how it feels to you can be completely disconnected). Having someone moderate the comments could be useful, if they would be willing. I don't know terribly much about the technology behind Wordpress websites, but I wonder if there is some script that could be written that could block comments with certain phrases (such as "weak" or "you don't know true pain").

I can appreciate and emphasize with this comment, though I am not in chronic pain. I'm burning myself out, but my parents and family can't see the wood of the torch burning; they can only see the light, and they're wondering why it flickers so much.

*hugs* But with blogs like yours, more people will be exposed to your perspective and insights, and exposure is the first step to change. Best of luck to you in your blogging career.

Londonopolis, Is there a link to your site? I may have overlooked or missed it. I would love to see it. Willard makes a great point to. Can you make it so that people can't comment? That would keep the meanies from affecting you. And we can always comment to you and support you here if you like.

I have a blog at wordpress and it's automatically set at I have to approve the comments first before they show up on the blog for anyone to see. I never bothered to see if I can change that because I don't care. it just prevents spam and trolls and I have gotten a couple of bad comments and sometimes I will approve them if I want to respond to it and make it public or not approve it and I ignore the comment and move on because it;s not worth defending myself or getting into an argument or drama about it. But any comment that gets posted I can read it even though anyone else can't yet unless I approve it.

[url=londonkittycane.com]londonkittycane.com[/url]

Skibum,

thanks for your words. All I really need is people to comfort me and relate, which is what you and the others are doing. I really appreciate it. A lot of people would wish to criticize that I create a sugar coated world for myself. But if I didn't, with my chronic pain and neurological disorders, I don't think I could function.

The link is londonkittycane.com and I also have a companion facebook page facebook.com/londonkittycane

I have decided to start working on my first "aspie" blog. I think its time. I'm really nervous but it think its important to explain to everyone. I also want to provide hope to those who are like me.

Werewolfpoet,

Omgsh thank you! I try to be conscious about the way I write. I don't really type drafts, I just type and check for errors later. I want a literal piece of my thoughts into text for people to read. To understand. I am glad you like it. I am pretty knew to all of this. The site is only about three weeks old. I am glad you think I am kawaii

The most I can do it put in keywords that will automatically put the comment into the spam folder, but I still end up seeing them. I have been searching the internet on how to block comments, and there really doesn't seem to be a way. I think I should disable them all together and just put "please direct comment to my facebook page", at the bottom of my entries. There is no better way to keep good comment and prevent bad ones. I have tried.

Willard,

You're right, I will just disable them. Fans of my site or contributors can post on my facebook page. There, people can be reported if they harass me if mean comments.

Wind,

I am so sorry people here haven't been sensitive enough to you. The first time I came here, I thought the same as you. I was surprised to see that some people would just give raw unfiltered opinions about whatever I posted. A lot of people would say "get over it, life isn't rainbows and sugar, etc" but I say, why not?

I suffer a lot more than the people who aren't sensitive, with chronic pain and financial problems, mood disorder, etc. I Know very well that life isn't all roses, but if I believe that it is, then I can function better. I am glad to see that no one decided to be cold and blunt to me here (I begged enough for people to be sweet haha, a little bit childish, I know).

Everyone,

Thank you so much for being sweet. It's all I needed. That and like minded people telling me that I'm not alone. I wish everyone could understand. But this is the point of my website at its core, to try and make people understand. It may not be possible, but I will try anyway.

**typing on tablet without my keyboard. Sorry, I don't have computer. Sorry for typos.

Feel free to add me as a friend on facebook, or twitter. You can find all the links you need to do this at londonkittycane.com on the right side of the menu. I need more aspie friends. Because I currently don't have any, 。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。



I think I am gonna have my boyfriend, James, moderate. He knows how sensitive I am and he knows exactly how to talk to me (and how NOT to talk to me). That is, if comments can't be turned off. (Not sure if they can be disabled yet)

Thanks again everyone! I feel so so so much better. I felt so stressed all day. You're right, Skibum. I don't need the stress. I have enough to worry about.

Oh and League_girl, the comments all await moderation. No comment, even nice ones, is made public until I click "approve". I don't have a computer, I run everything on tablet. I also have a wordpress app that gives me notifications that appear on the tablet home screen when I get a comment in the moderation queue. I think I will just delete the app and try to turn comments off completely if I can.

Figured it out! All comments are now disabled! Viewers now have to go to facebook page instead.

I also used to be very very sensitive toward "cyper-meanness" let alone real life meanness. I somehow grew out of it but I dont know maybe it's the Topamax. I believe that was a part of my mood disorder. (I am kind of bipolar)
BTW I really like your blog. I didn't read all of it but I read some and i definitely watched the "spoons" video. It very professionally made and very cute.

cheerz
omid

Since you have the comments off now, my advice is probably moot, but I would have someone else check them for you if you turn them back on.

As for getting a tougher skin, I can give you this advice. I used to be very, very sensitive to everything. When I was young, I'd cry if somebody looked at me wrong or if I thought they didn't like me. I'm now one of the least sensitive persons I know of. It's definately doable, to get thicker skin, but it's pretty painful. It's like a callous on your foot. To get it, you have to hurt tender skin over and over, then get a blister that heals, over and over. Eventually the skin gets thicker to protect itself but only after being injured many times first. The only way to do that emotionally is to just go through the pain over and over and keep reminding yourself that while it hurts, the people who are hurting you just don't matter in your life. It also takes time.

Since you have the comments off now, my advice is probably moot, but I would have someone else check them for you if you turn them back on.

As for getting a tougher skin, I can give you this advice. I used to be very, very sensitive to everything. When I was young, I'd cry if somebody looked at me wrong or if I thought they didn't like me. I'm now one of the least sensitive persons I know of. It's definately doable, to get thicker skin, but it's pretty painful. It's like a callous on your foot. To get it, you have to hurt tender skin over and over, then get a blister that heals, over and over. Eventually the skin gets thicker to protect itself but only after being injured many times first. The only way to do that emotionally is to just go through the pain over and over and keep reminding yourself that while it hurts, the people who are hurting you just don't matter in your life. It also takes time.

I'm also one of those highly sensitive types. I feel the need to be very careful about what I type, in order to keep myself from being attacked. I feel that I'm not being taken seriously when a tougher person contradicts my beliefs about life and political issues. I've needed to train myself to post one word response like, "Whatever." using the advice that alex gave us on Autism Talk TV.

Those are usually the types of people who don't take rankings and signatures seriously, or they really must not like sensitive people.

I just looked at your site. It's very nice. And Wordpress is awesome to work with isn't it. I enjoyed everything you put on there and you are adorable. Leave it to the Japanese to come up with a Kawaii "Culture". That is fun. Your dog is kawaii too. And I LOVE those eyeball hair elastics by the way. I would wear those!