A waste of time?
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,415
Location: Near London United Kingdom
I am furious that society is making autistic like me conform to doing things the neurotipical way much like how left handed people were made to conform to use there right hand many decades ago. I mean does society ever learn its lesson from its past mistakes?
I really want to make my point across to people that it is 'wrong' to bully autistic people into conforming.
Tell me why 'raging' against society and its unfair rules is a waste of time?
My neurotypical brother said to me once "you blame society for everything.... Okay society has got problems but so have 'you' as well"
I feel forced to try to conform by the high cost of not trying and rewards of trying. Although it doesn't feel like a real choice, to the extent I can figure out the rules, it is a choice.
And to the extent I fail to figure out how to adequately conform to others' expectations, conforming isn't a choice and doesn't happen. And not being seen as good enough when I try my very best gets me pretty angry, too, sometimes.
Problem with staying angry is I'm the only one inside my head being hurt. Which makes raging against society and it's unfair rules a waste of time for me.
If you can figure out how to rage without hurting yourself please share this. I think it causes depression and worse for many people. That said, don't misunderstand---I'm not meaning I think your point isn't valid, I agree there's a lot that's unfair. A lot in the world that can make you feel really angry, starting with that I wish for you that your family would try really hard to listen and see your point of view.
Please don't feel pressured, but if they can't or won't, do you want to post the specific situation?
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,415
Location: Near London United Kingdom
And to the extent I fail to figure out how to adequately conform to others' expectations, conforming isn't a choice and doesn't happen. And not being seen as good enough when I try my very best gets me pretty angry, too, sometimes.
Problem with staying angry is I'm the only one inside my head being hurt. Which makes raging against society and it's unfair rules a waste of time for me.
If you can figure out how to rage without hurting yourself please share this. I think it causes depression and worse for many people. That said, don't misunderstand---I'm not meaning I think your point isn't valid, I agree there's a lot that's unfair. A lot in the world that can make you feel really angry, starting with that I wish for you that your family would try really hard to listen and see your point of view.
Please don't feel pressured, but if they can't or won't, do you want to post the specific situation?
Well because of my aspergers I find it harder to sleep yet society wants me to start work at 8 in the morning like everyone else instead of giving me an allowance by letting me start work shifts later in the day.
Unfair or not?
I really want to make my point across to people that it is 'wrong' to bully autistic people into conforming.
Tell me why 'raging' against society and its unfair rules is a waste of time?
My neurotypical brother said to me once "you blame society for everything.... Okay society has got problems but so have 'you' as well"
Can we take things one step at a time?
We can't right now address your conversation with your brother, because we don't know the details of your life, previous conversations, or your relationship with him.
We CAN start out with the earliest sentence in your post, tho'. Just how are autistic people being forced to "conform"?
Please clarify what you mean. It sounds like someone's trying to make you do something you don't want to do. I wonder what that is.
Can you expand on what you said? Give us some examples?
_________________
AQ 31
Your Aspie score: 100 of 200 / Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 101 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
What would these results mean? Been told here I must be a "half pint".
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,415
Location: Near London United Kingdom
I really want to make my point across to people that it is 'wrong' to bully autistic people into conforming.
Tell me why 'raging' against society and its unfair rules is a waste of time?
My neurotypical brother said to me once "you blame society for everything.... Okay society has got problems but so have 'you' as well"
Can we take things one step at a time?
We can't right now address your conversation with your brother, because we don't know the details of your life, previous conversations, or your relationship with him.
We CAN start out with the earliest sentence in your post, tho'. Just how are autistic people being forced to "conform"?
Please clarify what you mean. It sounds like someone's trying to make you do something you don't want to do. I wonder what that is.
Can you expand on what you said? Give us some examples?
Making me work
Actually, you do have a fair point. Lots of AS people find the early morning daylight too much to deal with, and would be better starting at 12 or so. Its not a huge deal to accommodate, and if offices organised it, could even be beneficial, as they could have more workers in over a longer day~ desk sharing.
I know labour laws are really strict in the usa, so maybe its not available, bt in the uk new parents can get flexible working hours~ which is then unfair on those who'd like to work later for other reasons but aren't allowed to. Its stupid to allow it for people whove made a choice to have kids, but refuse those who have a medical condition the same leeway.
Yeah~ the situation is stupid, and companies would benefit from flexability. But its not even just you. Parents would like flexible hours, carers would, etc~ its not just you who's expected to conform to society~ this is just how *societies* work pro tem.
I think sweden and denmark have better working conditions, so maybe you could emigrate : )
But, in reality, being angry only harms you. Unless you're in a union which can agitate for better conditions, your anger is just going to give you high blood pressure and a headache. It wont change anything else.
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