Just Diagnosed with Asperger’s How will Family Take It?

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New to the forum, was just diagnosed with Asperger’s and have sent an email out to family members, complete with attached analysis from psychologist. Waiting to hear back from everyone/someone and getting kind of stressed, as no one has written back. I am a teacher earning my masters degree in special education (focus on ASD) now I am wondering if I'm qualified to teach ASD students,. Do I tell a prospective employer of my disorder, or keep it to myself? So many questions now that it’s all official and everything. No one to talk it over with, what to do?

Welcome! My own family has had mixed reactions. At the time of my diagnosis, I wasn't particularly close to anyone in my family – but since then I've become a lot closer to my mom and dad. They've been very supportive about it, and curious to finally understand my issues, instead of just thinking I'm being 'difficult' on purpose, or that 'if I just tried harder', I could manage to be normal.

The rest of my family... I didn't tell them personally, but I think my parents mentioned it to them. And no one has said anything to me, in two years. I finally brought it up with my brother one time, and he just said "yes I am aware you have it" – end of discussion. It's not a topic people seem to want to talk about.

But congrats on your diagnosis – it's helped me so much to rethink my strategies in life, and not blunder into situations that would be easy for an NT, but that I won't be able to handle!

I have never told anyone at all.

Partly because I would be mortified and partly because I like to keep an air of mystery over why I can be so difficult to deal with.

If anything I'd think having aspergers would make you more qualified to teach ASD students, as you have more understanding of how it is to be on the spectrum....more so than a neurotypical person.

Don't worry too much about a reaction from family members, but be prepared for some misunderstanding. In my case my surviving family have been quite supportive, and it's starting to dawn on them that there might be other Aspies amongst us, just undiagnosed.

I haven't worked since my diagnosis, so I can't advise you about disclosing to your employer....
... but how cool would it be for a group of ASD kids to have a teacher, like them, who was open about their ASD? That could be pretty awesome, I think.

Thank you for the responses, it kind of makes up for the silence in my family. Like one of you, I also think I have a sibling who experiences ASD (brother), which may account for his non-reaction. One of my nieces wrote a nice email, 1 out of 8.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised if no one writes. They think I am a jerk, one to many meltdowns and/or criticisms I suppose. I thought for some odd reason this might help explain me. They likely didn't want to hear it, rather judge me on their own terms. I am married, my wife is pretty pissed at them. So am I, and I feel foolish for even trying.

One reason I went into special education was to find out more about my own self. I've always known as an adult there was something, and the more I learned the more I figured it out. I see kids who remind me of myself as a child and it's quite reflective and can be moving. I didn't think it'd be a big deal to be diagnosed, but it's hit me hard, it's a relief at the same time.

One of my professors knew before it was official. Like one of you mentioned, she said I'd have a unique perspective, that's what the therapist said as well. I'll hang on to that thought, but not tell the employer. Just in case.

I did not realise I was on the spectrum in one day it was a process.

Give your family a chance and as for yourself you are still in shock.

I was in a job for 14 years and I was bullied.

I stared a job two years ago just about the same time I started to suspect I was on the spectrum.

I have been honest with my employers and my co workers and I am now really happy in my job.

I still stress and worry but that is just the way I am but I am not nearly as bad as I use to be.

Anyway back to my point my life has been much better after my diagnosis then before.

Strange that you emailed your family members your diagnosis. I would of just told them, I don't know if people care to know that much detail.. I figure the best way to do it is mention it casually and let people ask you questions.

I too shared the diagnostician's observations and conclusions with family, though I only presented select family members with the details.

One of my sisters and one of my aunts expressed an interest, and I think it's slowly dawning on them that they have a number of traits in common with me. I didn't want to just blurt out "you probably have Asperger's too" as I don't think they share my delight at being diagnosed, but now at least have a benchmark to compare themselves to (ASD is poorly understood in my family even though there's two of us diagnosed and several other likely candidates) and they have the option of pursuing a diagnosis in their own time, if they choose to.