My sensitivity to being disabled

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Over the course of almost two years, I've stated on this forum that I was around the age of five or six I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS along with intellectual disability. Now recently the school has changed my intellectual disability label, which has been uplifting for me since it brings back memories of my mother calling me "special needs child". Still, this issue has been a struggle of mine since I feel like a "ret*d when it comes to important life skills such as preparing meals and tying my shoes. Times like these make me wish I had been a neurotypical adult with no limitationing. My social awkardness has been off putting for people at my school sincethey tend to try associating themselves with one group and ridiculing others who don't share the same special interest.



They'll be more stories from me that express this agony.

I'm really insecure about my intelligence. I've been tested and the results come back as average yet I feel like I'm greater than that. My imagination is such that I can internalize complex situations(especially conflict and interpersonal conversations) featuring multiple people interacting with one another. I have a connection with emotional pain and anguish linked to my own. still raw, personal experiences. My creative abilities are focused primarily on a limited list of topics and are augmented by my lack of understanding when it comes to the world around me. I was a failure in public school, most subjects including math bored me and I just wanted to retreat into my skull. I feel your frustration because I've been there. In my early school days I fit in fine with everyone, even made two "best" friends. I didn't search for people with the same interests because I was immersed in my mental disorder(wasn't aware of it). My emotional instability saw to it that I was removed from mainstream society and confined to special education, I also didn't seem to retain information and still don't, though I desperately want to. My advice is to give up on trying to find someone just like you or even half similar and look for someone whose easy to get along with. Try to get to know them and make an effort to explore their interests. It is going to be tough and will suck a lot but it could be that you honestly have no other choice.

I think I'm more sensitive than I realise to being "different." My mom asked me accusingly today (while driving me to the bus stop because I'd overslept) "Why is it you're so great at some things but so terrible at others?" and I started running through my head all the silly little mundane things I still struggle with, like deviating from my routine, keeping track of my things, maintaining good hygeine, etc, and just sort of wilted. My professor, also today, was introducing the concept of "mental illness", and the fact that it constituted: deficits in normal functioning, emotional distress, and risk of harm to self and others. The way she and the rest of the class were talking about it made me feel like the most incompetent person on the planet. I like to think I have a relatively thick skin, but I evidently don't when it comes to people unintentionally picking on me for my disability. I still take considerable offence to being called "weird" which happens rather more frequently for me than for anyone else in my family.

My prematurity and extremely low birth weight has affected my global development.