I just figured out the reason I don't like eye contact

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It's because mouths are moving, and you want to look at moving things, right? that's what humans were designed for. So why should we look into eyes when we were designed to look at the moving areas.

I think the same thing, and while I don't look into their eyes, I sure am familiar with their teeth.
I think also, at least in my case, It's kind of reading their lips to understand what they are saying better.

Last edited by EzraS on 22 Feb 2014, 3:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Eyes do move; it's more subtle than mouths, but they do. The trouble with watching eyes is that those movements are harder to catch and less obvious, and it's hard to listen and look at the same time. Well, that's the way it is for me.

I think humans are mostly edge- and color-focused; movement does catch our eye, but it's not the only thing that does. The way things are shaped is a very useful thing for us to know, because we used to feed ourselves mostly by searching out edible things and gathering them to eat. Motion is more useful for hunters, which we were (and sometimes still are), but it's not our only visual focus. Have you ever interacted with a cat and noticed how very much they are focused on motion? You can dangle the most brightly colored, most enticing toy in front of them, but if that toy isn't moving, they will be much less interested in it than in something that's moving.

People vary in what their visual focus is. If, for you, it's more motion than shape and color, it would make sense that you would get the most information out of mouths. On the other hand, I have more trouble with the multi-tasking aspect of watching eyes and listening at the same time, so I watch mouths, which reinforce what I'm hearing instead of adding information to the pile.

Interesting theory!

Eye contact takes to much effort for me and is to intense, I don't want to make eye contact with a stranger and smile, it feels fake.. When under pressure from someone it is hard to look them in the eye cause it adds to the pressure and I look away to try and think better. When I actually have control over a conversation I make good eye contact.

For me I think it was mostly shyness back when I had serious eye contact issues, but these days in the few circumstances that do cause me problems (esp. when walking past people on the street) it's mostly due to me being very guarded and not particularly trusting of strangers. I'll make eye contact and give a half-hearted smile just because that's what society tells me to do, but I honestly don't understand the point in acknowledging a complete stranger who's only in your presence for a few seconds tops. Sunglasses are the greatest thing ever for me because they allow me to circumvent that entirely

In answer to the question of why Aspies have eye contact problems in general, maybe it also has something to do with the fact that a lot of us have auditory processing issues and therefore have to place special focus on the mouth in order to better our comprehension. I notice that I rely a lot more on lip-reading when I'm in a loud and crowded place since I find it very hard to filter out what the other person is saying amidst all the noise (the main way that my APD manifests itself). Otherwise my eye contact is usually focused on the eyes rather than the mouth...

I read lips because it helps me know what they're saying. I get embarrassed when I have to say "what?" because I couldn't hear or figure out what they said. 90% of the time by hearing them speak and watching their lips, I can figure out what they said the first try. I'm also a visual learner, so watching them speak is visual, which helps me "get it".

I'm learning to accept my level of eye contact, and not think of it as wrong, or disordered. I like to glance at people when they're talking, and look several feet away from them when I'm talking, and that feels comfortable to me.

Weirdly enough, I do make a point of looking at strangers and smiling when I pass them on the street, and yes it feels uncomfortable to me, but it seems like the nice thing to do. I probably come across as nervous and shy, but at least I'm trying to be friendly, and that counts for something!

To me it is as though I feel their insides or emotions or a spirit and I don't like what I see or feel most of the time so I don't look at peoples eyes so I want feel that energy or state of mind what ever you would call it

yes

This creeps me out as well. It's like, what are they looking for?

The problem is, when we don't make eye contact, others make assumptions about us that may not be true. There are tons of stuff on the internet indicating that that people who make higher-levels of eye contact with others are perceived as being:
- More warm and personable
- More attractive and likeable
- More qualified, skilled, competent, and valuable
- More trustworthy, honest, and sincere
- More confident and emotionally stable
- Etc.
- Etc.

I actually don't look at people's mouths when they talk...when avoiding eye contact, I prefer to look past the person or off into to the distance.

For me, processing someone else's stories or audio information is like watching a movie in my head. I automatically attach visuals to each word that I hear and am then able to process what is being said. Except the "movie" isn't exactly INSIDE my head, it's more like one of those classroom projectors. So where would you rather point a projector at: a person's face or a blank wall? If you pointed it at someone's face, the image would lay all wonky and be difficult to make out. It's much more effective to point it at a wall somewhere in the distance. Likewise, I have a hard time seeing the "movie" and processing the information I am hearing when I am trying to look at someone's face at the same time. I prefer to find a less distracting background for my "movie" so that I can efficiently comprehend what is being said.

Looking at the face in general is very stressful for me and I end up moving my head almost like a chicken because it's the only way to relieve stress. I'm said to have a blank stare when people tell me to look in the eyes because it's just very uncomfortable for me. I don't know personally, it's just stressful.

I often find eyes too intense, except in short bursts. NT faces give off all that non-verbal "vibe" and it often gets too much. I have to look away or get overloaded.

It has nothing to do with moving things. It's all about sensory overload, and there is nothing on the planet more replete with information than the human eye.

In the mornings, when I'm full of energy, I can make eye contact and communicate compassion and joy through that contact.

By the time evening comes, OR if I am with a person for more than five minutes, I simply cannot make eye contact anymore because it literally hurts my soul. I end up squinting and blinking and looking down. It's rough because I'm a priest, and people so often need eye contact for comfort. But when this happens, I lose my ability to think or hear well, so I have to look at their mouths or maybe, if I have strength, look between their eyes. But I begin to fidget and get uncomfortable, which I hate.

I am pretty sure that this ^^^^ is what almost all of us with HFA deal with on a daily basis. It has nothing to do with "moving objects." The eyes are simply places of profound energy.

I agree with this. Eyes are just too questioning, too probing. They project too much.
Definitely sensory overload. It's like when I try maintaining eye contact everything else
in my vision dissolves and all I have are those eyes. Whatever the person is saying turns
into muffles or buzzing so to speak. All I can think about is those consuming eyes and
how much I want to break contact.