Therapist doesn't wanna diagnose me...

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Hello everyone I am new here. My name is Amie and I am 21 years old. Let me start off by giving you some history.

All my life I knew I was "different". I have many issues (adhd, turrets, tics, OCD, dyslexia, dysphraxia, sensory issues ect ect...)

I struggled severely in school because I couldn't keep up and my executive functioning deficits were severe. I was homeschooled after that and am now 21 years old and out of school.

I have always had obsessive interests ever since I was young. I stim all the time and have often been told that I talk either too loudly or too quietly. I have a hard time being part of social "groups". I always feel like an outsider just tagging along trying to fit in. I am good at one on one interaction but more than that I get confused.


Now the thing is, I just got home from therapy. I brought up aspergers to my therapist and she admitted that I have several aspergers traits. But she says she doesn't think I should be diagnosed because I "desire social interaction". She says people on the spectrum do not desire social interaction and are content being alone. Now I know in more severe cases that may be so but I thought aspergers was different?

I also am very content staying home most of the time and really do not like meaningless social chit chat.

I am just discouraged because I know I have aspergers syndrome...social difficulties in groups, motor problems, sensory issues, obessions ect ect


I just don't know what to do at this point because I feel like people don't take me seriously.

I am having the same issue too Amie. My long time therapist refuses to even think I have Aspergers or any traits. I am trying to find other options for diagnosis.

Is your therapist experienced specifically with autistic adults?

Self was not aware I have special needs until told directly.

It is quite normal for people with Aspergers to desire social interactions. This desire is one thing that sets Aspergers apart from HFA. However, desire and skill are two different things. We WANT to interact, but usually have no clue how to go about it effectively. It is not a natural thing that we just pick up...it is a hard won skill - Like teaching a hearing impaired person to sing - and sometimes we give up - which can cause depression etc. That said, Aspergians often have a higher need for personal down time, and we often find ourselves overstimulated by social interactions and may need to decompress. Your therapist may need to be shown professional scholarly literature. Just google ' aspergers social needs and desires' for pages and pages of references. - both for lay readers and professionals.

All this is moot however, the main problem she's going to have is there is now no such diagnosis as 'Asperger's Syndrome' according to DSM-V...so you will have to fit into some of the more restricted Autism coding categories if you need a dx for economic or medical services purposes.

Welcome Amie

As noted above your therapist is wrong about desiring interaction. While that is true for some people with Asperger syndrome for many people with Aspergers especially for females (but for plenty of guys also) are desperate for a connection but can not do so leading to frustration, loneliness and general misery.

You are correct in your observation that people are not taking you seriously. We see this all the time especially for females. The diagnostic model for boys is most understood because that is where Aspergers was first found. Also because of the rapid increase in autism diagnosis many professionals are suspicious of Asperger claims. Some specialists in childhood autism are outwordly hostile to the notion that Aspergers exists.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but there is something you can do but it may take a lot of persistence. If you were told you needed an operation most likely you would go for a second opinion. That is what is needed here. You need to find a specialist who understands how Autism Spectrum Disorders presents in adult females. Some general psychologists do "get it" but many do not.

In the meantime you are now among a bunch of people many of whom have been through what you are going through. You are not alone anymore.

This link below is to a link of female traits by Rudy Simone author of "Aspergirls Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome". Many women here have found the book to be a great help.
http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58 ... d4f6a.html

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 27 Feb 2014, 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've had this happen to me. When I asked, my therapist said she was not qualified to make that diagnosis. It sounds to me like your therapist is of the more general sort and may be begging off this way.

you would need an evaluation, I.Q test, and need to rule out any other possible conditions.

Your therapist is a moron and isnt' qualified to be discussing HFA.

There are plenty of high functioning autistics who want to improve their social skills. Someone here on the forum just posted that they're looking to improve their skills with making eye contact.

Your therapist is misleading you and isn't speaking from experience.

Tell that person so, or find another therapist without even talking to this one.

They may be of SOME help to you, but obviously they can't help you with this, and you need to go elsewhere.

I agree with the other posters that wanting to socialize doesn't preclude the diagnosis. Maybe tell your family doctor that you want to be assessed for ASD and asked to be referred to a psychologist or psychiatrist specializing in adults with autism spectrum disorders.

Amie is one of my all-time favourite names.

Do you know what kind of degree your therapist has? Different areas have different qualification requirements. Plus it doesn't seem like your therapist has any specialized experience in this area.

I agree with this. Not to say that doctors are always the best option, but if you want a diagnosis it's probably a good place to start.

Maybe you should tell your therapist to check out this website and see if it changes her idea about our lack of desire to interact with other people.

I agree with a lot of the comments here. I just published a book about women on the spectrum and one of the many differences between many of us and many males on the spectrum (but of course not all of either) is that females tend to be brought up to be social creatures. It is a societal norm, so for many of us it is drilled into us until we need that interaction to feel "right". I know that I crave the company of my best friend from time to time, even though I love being alone much of the time.

I would suggest finding a new therapist or working to educate the one you have if the relationship is good. What you describe certainly sounds like AS, and you know yourself better than anyone. Explain that women are, by nature, taught to be social and that alone can't exclude you from being an aspie.

In my PERSONAL opinion, many of the diagnostic criteria for AS are really exclusive of females with a traditional female upbringing, at least the way I was brought up in the deep south, where I was forced to make eye contact, say my ma'am's and sir's, etc. Boys my age were able to get around this under the guise of boys being boys, the same way I was frowned upon for solo play with my GI Joes instead of being social but it was ok for my male cousins.

I may have gone on a tangent, I apologize. I do think you have AS from the sound of it and I guess my main point was simply to try to explain the difference for females to your therapist or consider finding someone who will listen and offer a correct diagnosis if having a diagnosis is important for you.

At any rate, I wish you nothing but the best and hope you find the support you need.

Elaine