Growing Up With NT Siblings

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Those of you who grew up with NT siblings, what was it like? Were you treated the same or different by your parents? Did you get along well, not relate much, or mostly fight? Do you think the way you interacted/were raised would have been different if you had/hadn't been diagnosed when you were young? I have a younger sister who's 16 and we spent our entire childhoods fighting. She was loud, bouncy and attention-seeking, and I wanted nothing more than to be left alone. We didn't understand each other at all, though oddly enough, she's told me recently that when we were young, she wanted nothing more than to be like me. This was something I had been completely unaware of. As she's gotten older, we've started getting along better, but the past few years, upon my discovery that I have AS, we've been interacting even better than we used to, perhaps because she has a better understanding of why I do the things I do, and subsequently doesn't do the things that annoy me so much the way she used to. She's nice to me now, but I have a hard time judging how she really feels about me; I often say unintentionally weird or awkward things when her friends and boyfriend come over, and she claims they find me "adorable" (not quite sure what that means) but I'm not sure if I embarrass her with the things I do. She's admitted that there have been times when she's deliberately aggrivated my sensory problems just because she could, but didn't really say what prompted her to do it, whether it was frustration, amusement or something else. What was it like growing up with your siblings, and how do you get on now?

I was treated the same as my brothers and we got along and also fought like normal siblings. They annoyed me and I annoyed them. I also teased them or was mean to them. We drifted apart when they got to their adolescence and we didn't play together much anymore. They had their own friends and their own interests. They rarely triggered my anxiety and tormented me and one of their friends took my video games without asking so when I found them missing, I freaked out and got very upset and my brothers lied to me about it. my dad was nice to replace some of them that went "missing" and then it turned out one of my brother's friends had them. I was pissed. He did bring them back but I was pissed because he took them without asking and no one told me he had them so I thought they were lost or stolen. That is why you ask before you borrow. And those parties they always had to have, total torture and the messes they would make, ugh. They never admitted they ever lied to me or did things intentionally to torment me. Now we are just distance. I often see my youngest brother because he lives close by and he works with my dad and he often brings his son over and my other brother lives all the way in Montana so I only get to see him for the holidays when he comes out.

Treated differently and as a negative example - you know, like my "issues" were whispered about, my siblings disliked me and still don't talk. Like I would text and the text would come back 2 weeks later or not at all.

My older sister has relatively mild ADD (my dad says it's just that her element is wind) and she took care of me when I was really little because legally we were only allowed very limited time with our dad and our mom had serious chemical dependancy issues (mostly meth and abuse of prescription medication). I didn't really understand what was going on with mom when I was 4 years old though. We fought periodically like all siblings do, but we were always there for each other. All my life, even when there was no one else I could turn to for help, I knew she'd be there for me.

Later on, mom moved back in with her parents and got clean, but my sister still tried to act as my mother sometimes. This usually lead to power struggles between the two. As I got older, she was my best friend. She always excelled socially and was a wonderful artist. My set of skills was the exact opposite of hers for the most part. The only space where they overlapped was verbally. Despite our very different writing styles, we were both considered to be gifted writers. We were both identified as exceptionally intelligent at a very young age. I had always been talented with machines and all things that can be systemized. I wish I'd been able to help her more whenever I think of all that she did for me.

When I was about seven years old, my mom had another child with a man I met shortly after she divorced my father. Aparently, they met in highschool though. She was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age and (unike my older sister) has always displayed symptoms quite prominently. Though, it could also be her age. Even though, biologically, she's only my half sister, I've always just thought of her as my little sister.

She can be really difficult at times. My older sister says it's because she's spoiled. I wouldn't say she's spoiled though. Sure her parents almost always gave her what she wanted, but she hasn't had what I'd consider to be a nice or healthy upbringing. After her aunt (on her dad's side) died, her dad started using heroine for the first time since before she was born. One weekend, when he was looking after her, he tried to "shoot up" and either he overdosed or there was cotton in the needle. I'm still not entirely sure about that part, but he was hospitalized for some time. He survived though.

Ever since then, she hasn't been allowed to be alone with him. this was more or less not a problem until our grandmother had a heart attack and mom had to go into the city to be with her. Since my older sister had moved out years and grampa was (and still is) on the road, that left me (16 year old male aspie) to take care of her (9 year old girl with ADHD). It took a bit of geting used to. I didn't have any experience taking care of kids. In fact, she'd never been left alone with me before. It was tough figuring out what to do when she was being defiant as well as less significant things like what foods I could make that we'd agree on.

This went on for a few months, but now mom visits about once a week and tells us about grandma. I have one of the neighbors watch her while I'm in school (I don't get home until about 6:00 PM. Since the elementary school gets out at 3:10 PM, that's a considerable ammount of time for which I can't just leave her home alone) but other than that and the occasional visit from grampa or my dad, it's just the two of us.

I think everything that's happened has helped us to become much closer. Sometimes, she just wants to play minecraft and watch youtube videos, but sometimes we watch TV or go places together. I was able to get her excited about 3D printers, raspberry pi builds and things of the like really quickly (though I don't have any hardware to experiment with other than what I find dumpster diving and what the neighbors donate to me), but I haven't had as much luck getting her to try new foods and ever since she discovered minecraft it's been hard to get her to leave the house.

I'd always hoped to have a relationship with her like the one I have with my older sister. I suppose we're on the way to building that