Why are patronizing and condescending attitudes so hated?

Post Reply New Topic

Even when not explicitly hateful, or well meaning? Say you ask a doctor about the half life of a med, and she replies listen you let me worry about that science stuff ok? There isn't really any bad intent there, but it still just makes me angry. I also hate when someone tells me or someone else that we are transgressing class/race/sex/social boundaries and that we should go back into our proper place.

I thought this was a private quirk I had, I think I even searched the internet for it many years ago before I had ever heard of AS or autism. But it shows up on this board and on lists of autism characteristics a lot.

I was curious if anyone had any ideas on why?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condescending
Incivility.
You're not alone, rudeness is pretty common and this is just one of many forms of rudeness.
Rudeness is the first resort of the incompetent.

some people don't learn tenderness until they themselves get skinned. there was a doctor, haughty and high, until he got sick and got treated the same way he treated others when admitted to his own hospital, the name of the book he wrote, was "a taste of my own medicine."

I hate it when other people think that they're better than me, or that they know more than me, or whatever. It really drives me up the wall. I may not be the smartest guy out there, and I will admit it, but I certainly know that I'm smarter than most of the people I come across in my day to day life, especially the ones who do seemingly believe that they are superior to me. I know it makes me sound like a hypocrite, being frustrated with other people who believe themselves to be superior despite my delusions of superiority, but whatever. The point is, I can't stand condescending attitudes.

This is the exact reason why I make myself act mature and never disclose my diagnosis.

I have to leave the situation quickly.
This is because if I don't, I am likely to lash out, either verbally or physically.

perhaps itd flavour the view if were having to experience it all the time and were treated as non functioning by the patronising person.

am acutely patronised and spoken down to every day by passers by,shop workers,medical people etc-this has been lifelong,am pitied by people and treated like have got a profound terminal disease and am not long for this world.
itd be nice to be treated like a human,get the rare stranger who does this and it makes the day complete.

I have never known anyone who wasn't bothered by this. It bothers me too and I hate it when people tell me things I already know because it's like they think I am too stupid to not know it. I just want to be rude about it and say, "Duh." I also hate it when people make assumptions about me thinking I didn't know this or that so they tell me about it as if I was too dense to not know that. I am also sure it's done unintentionally so I don't let myself be rude about it like lot of people are. It makes me not want to speak to them ever because I don't know if I will offend them again if I accidentally tell them something they already know.

I can say why. It is because I feel like I'm being talked to like I'm less than you.

I don't understand the question.

Are you asking "why do people speak in a condescending way?".

Or are you asking "why do I hate being talked to in a condescending way?"

It is difficult to extricate your self regard, from the opinion others show towards you. When people talk to me as if i'm an idiot, I feel somewhat like an idiot.
It is important that people don't feel this way about themselves, if they are to accomplish anything.

Theyre hated because ... theyre patronizing, and condescending.

One problem I have with communicating with people is that I do not know the level of knowledge they have. If I talk below their level(of extremely literal here) I am going to come off as condescending. If I talk above their level they will not understand me and I may come off as haughty/elitist etc. A doctor sees many types of patients, so how is he or she supposed to know the knowledge of their patients based on a few minutes conversation?. So he or she has to speak and explain at the lowest level. This is different then thinking they are a higher level of person then the patient. We have less ability to determine if a person is being condescending or just speaking to the lowest common denominator. Add to that our social experiences have been mostly bad we are much more likely to be offended when no offense was intended.

I hate patronizing condescending attitudes partly because the person tends to oversimplify to the point of being inaccurate, I take the superficial kindness at face value initially, start to get confused, feel like they are lying to me, get angry....

It creates a lot of confusion when people are condescending, I hate being alone and confused with someone else pushing me around. Feels like bullying. Reminds me of other bad incidents from the past.