needed: checklist of "basic social skills"

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my psychiatrist has asked me to find a list of basic social skills and check off the areas where i feel i have deficits.

does anyone know of such a list?

i am having problems immediately finding such a list on google. perhaps it has something to do with the words i used in my query????

I see what you mean on google for there not being any search results. I only managed to find this result:

Search Query: "+what +are +the basic social skills"

http://home.att.net/~clnetwork/socialsk.htm



Tom

here are a few i have on my mind:
Confidence
Open-Mindedness(seeing others point of view)
having standards and not settling
being able to admit when your wrong
being able to deal with rejection
having a unique personality

I hope that helped.
A

Have you read the book "how to make friends and influence people"

who is it by
A

Sometimes when a question is asked,
in the psychology based field, it is not literal,
of which is a AS/HFA issue that they know of.
They may ask a question that you will take
literally, but perhaps want you to guess by
thinking of what would you want done to you
that you should extend to others.

This is not a literal question, but a
as the computer said to Spock in in Star Trek Iv
question....."How do you feel", and he say's
"I don't understand the question", and his
mother say's the computer knows you are
part human"(answer from within). This is
a colorful approach to your Psych's question.

I have the book and there is alot of truth to it. It talks about some subtle areas of interpersonal interaction that we rarely notice. Things like smiling and the importance of calling someone by name.

This book has helped me immensely. It was published in 1936 before the term 'Aspie' was born. However, this book seems to be well suited for aspies. Read it, I highly recommend it.

[Absolute_Zero
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 09, 2004
Posts: 150

It talks about some subtle areas of
interpersonal interaction that we rarely
notice. Things like smiling and the
importance of calling someone by name.

This book has helped me immensely.]

Can you list off any other traits for
interpersonal communication that
you have found helpful?

What alot of psychiatrists don't realize is that many aspies cannot simply be pounded into being 'normal'. There is no clear map or formula to make any aspie 'normal'. I know there are alot of doctors out there who are trying to change people into something that they can never be.

The happiest aspies seem to be the ones who realize that they can be contributors to society with their many skills. They don't really go out of their way to be 'normal'. They conform a little bit maybe but mostly stay true to their gifted and rigid ways. That is what I have done. I more or less try to keep the positives of an aspie state of mind while dampening the negatives. I have in the past, had alot of problems with fear of eye contact and performing odd habits (like chewing the inside of my cheeks) in public. When I made an effort to dull these habits, public life was improved drastically. I realize there are some things that I will probably never change but I don't get worked up about it. In crowded areas I can't make out much when a large group is having a conversation. I can't talk to people when their are other conversations happening in the room either.
I can talk one on one, or maybe to as many as 3-4 people if the room is otherwise quiet. I used to be ashamed of that but now I just realize I do things different and if anyone has a problem with it then too bad.

Socializing on a person to person basis doesn't come easy for most aspies. Becomming proficient at alternative methods of communication like the internet are good starting points. By using these methods you can work your way up and gain confidence for person to person dealings.

When I meet new people, I talk to them on the phone or internet because it seems less overwhelming. Sometimes that even gives me the chance to explain that I am going to be a little 'odd' in public and most don't mind that.

i like your words zero
A

Nicely worded, and I'm the same way too. I've adapted fairly well, except for things I know well never change. Eye contact is what I'm trying to fix right now. Anyways, a normal social skill "normal" peole have is the ability to read facial expressions. That's a tough one to master, I'll always have trouble with that.

[Absolute_Zero
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 09, 2004
Posts: 153

•psychiatrists don't realize is that
many aspies cannot simply be
pounded into being 'normal'.

=trying to change people into
something that they can never be.

•happiest aspies

Main Idea:
"I used to be ashamed of that
but now I just realize I do things
different and if anyone has a problem
with it then too bad."



A)...realize that they can be
contributors to society

i--> their many skills

2--> keep the positives of an aspie
state of mind while dampening the
negatives

B)...They conform a little bit maybe
but mostly stay true to their gifted
and rigid ways

i--> fear of eye contact

ii-->performing odd habits

C)....effort to dull these habits

i-->public life was improved
drastically

D)... things that I will probably
never change

i-->I can't make out much when
a large group is having a conversation

ii-->I can't talk to people when their
are other conversations

iii-->I can talk one on one, or maybe
to as many as 3-4 people if the room
is otherwise quiet

E)...alternative methods of communication

i-->internet

ii-->internet because it seems less
overwhelming

iii-->chance to explain that I am
going to be a little 'odd' in public
and most don't mind that.]
..................................................
and from Ghosthunter....>

"I live behind my computer. I live
there because it allows me to
communicate to others. I unplug
my computer, go to my room,
see all the things that I love and
represent me, and realize I live
in a silent world. I may be employed
and will start school soon for my personal
betterment, and the ghost of my silent
world still dwells there. I see you talk, and
I don't know what to say. It is a silent world.
I may be occupied helping you guys at
WrongPlanet.Net understand or grow, when
I get off line it is still a silent world. I am
glad to find somewhere I can help others
with my wisdom, even in a silent world."

This would elaborate.....

[Absolute_Zero
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 09, 2004
Posts: 153

E)...alternative methods of
communication

i-->internet

ii-->internet because it seems less
overwhelming

iii-->chance to explain that I am
going to be a little 'odd' in public
and most don't mind that.]

Absolute_Zero, that was a good post. I feel the same way. I am in the process of learning how to hide AS traits and learn to deal with things that bother me. I am working on shutting up when I am having a conversation with someone else, and letting them speak. Hard work.

I need to find some help with my posture and tone of voice being preceived as hostile or agressive.