socially active vs socially isolated

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I believe the Aspie who are most successful at
making friends,and getting dates,are more
willing to be socially active,like joining meetup,
hobby clubs,church or religious group,social events,
or work at place,where you have to work with other.

where the Aspie who are loners,isolated themselves,
and not socially active.

Well, that goes without say, but I don't think it's as 'cut and dried' as that.

For example, I fancy myself something of a loner. I don't have friends or acquaintances, and my relationship to my relatives is not that great.
Yet, I have in fact looked for company at meet-ups, hobby clubs, and the like. I was searching for kindred spirits, and I was yearning for social interaction for a while, but it did not work for me, and I shifted my attitude to be even more of a loner than I originally was.

So it was not for lack of effort, or even for lack of willingness, but it was more of a lack of compatibility with most people.

to be fair,alot of aspie isolated themselves,because
how they get treated,I guess I should I have know,that
not all aspie are able to fit in,even if they try.

I don't really feel the need to be socially active so much. When people talk to me I talk to them and that pretty much handles it. I'm quite unexpectable, though. The other day I might suddenly start talking to everyone in my class if my mood allows me to do so. It's pretty cool!

Being socially active is important to me, and I get depressed without it, and I can prove that because if I am socially accepted and talked to a lot, I do feel a whole lot better about myself and my life, and I want to do more. The trouble is generally I find it hard to fit in because of shyness getting in the way and too much social anxiety. So that makes certain social situations awkward for me, and also rather boring. So I tend to shy away from going to bars at night because I feel like a fish out of water. It is a vicious circle with me.

If you want to be accepted by some NT group, you have to accept your place in the group hierarchy, and that place is often not high given you have AS - often very low.

Group acceptance is mostly only important for me to the extent that it is required for me to be independent.

I would prefer to be completely independent, so I could freely choose who I would like to socialize with.

To get out of my isolation habit, I plan to go to various meetup groups. I'd planned to go to the Square Pegs one yesterday but it rained a lot and I fell asleep. That, and the place was kind of far and I didn't know where I was driving to.

I joined a writing group but where they meet, downtown Seattle, has huge parking issues. I don't want to take a bus because of my legs (I can't walk long distances). I'll just look for a parking spot.