Creating scenes in public without realizing it

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Lately it seems like almost daily someone will start a scene in public because they either are creeped out by me or misinterpret what I am doing. It is usually when I'm with my son who is three and non-verbal.

I mean as an example the other day me and my wife took our son to the grocery, as we are sitting outside waiting to get a bus my son starts trying to sit in the gutter and I'm telling him no and asking him not to, and then picking him up and putting him back on the bench when does so anyway very calmly. Then a stranger that was there turns to my wife and says "look at that as*hole pushing his child into the drain, WTF is wrong with him I feel like kicking his ass" to which my wife replied well then you're going to have to fight me too and yelled for me to protect our son. Then a three way shouting fight erupts where I didn't even know what was going on but my wife filled me in later.

This s**t happens SO, SO, SO often it is getting depressing. I'm not even sure what it is I'm doing that looks offensive to these strangers, my wife doesn't know either. They also often don't realize we're a couple, don't realize our son is ours.

I know I am probably not showing proper body language or emotion or gestures.

creating scenes in public without realising it?
this is life every day,have got no awareness of environment as am only able to scan and process certain things in vision nor have any social awareness,and have got no awareness of other people unless they forcibly come into KoRs world.

due to risk assessment had even been banned for life from going to all shops and the trafford centre until social services ID team started reintagrating self again, after an incident in the car park there.

perhaps are very much experiencing the same sort of thing to a much lower level,it sounds like are definitely less socialy aware.
screw what others think,are being a good parent in a difficult situation and thats all that matters.

Why didn't your wife just explain that you were getting your child OUT of the gutter?

Am guessing maybe your wife was fed up with peoples ignorance and lost her temper.
This has always happened when I am out with my parents, or aunt and uncle or grandparents.
Some ignorant jerk making snide comment.
Usually the response from all these days is, "mind your own f*ing business you f*ing a*hole".
Not very productive I guess, but they are just so sick of it.
They love it when someone who probably has or knows a special needs kid, kind of nods and smiles knowingly.

I'm not saying you should do this, but two things I was told as a child help some. Because it's very depressing to be treated as less than human.

I was told to smile because it makes you look more friendly. Not all the time, intermittently.

And I was told to try to speak and explain so people don't fill in there own negative reasons something is happening.

And as an adult I am being taught to assume something positive behind the actions of others, because it helps me feel less victimized and because it helps avoid escalations. For example, since your child might be struggling, I learned that the productive thing to do when the CSE. chair (administrator in charge of approving services in school) looks right at me and lies IS NOT to call her on it. It is to ask "oh, tell me more" or some such, or to say it back as "oh, I'm sure you don't mean ....... Mrs. Administrator, you meant ....." Because once things escalate they get bad fast and it will ALWAYS be your fault in everyone's mind.

Makes no sense to me. But this is what I've learned and am learning. And I can't defend it, it isn't fair.

You and I and all of us are just as human as anyone else!

Here's a fun question, should someone be punished for creating a scene in public and not realizing it? (ASD only, not NT)

Here's a fun question, should someone be punished for creating a scene in public and not realizing it? (ASD only, not NT)

Here's a fun question, should someone be punished for creating a scene in public and not realizing it? (ASD only, not NT)

I wondered that too. When it comes to any kind of conflict I tend to say nothing or walk away, so I'm obviously not at all like your wife, but it does seem to me that her response may have escalated the situation. You say there was a three way shouting match, so does that mean you, your wife and this man?