How many aspies here want children/family?

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I want to be a parent eventually.

I always wanted 2 boys and a girl. I actually became a mom when I was 24 and I am now turning 28 on March 8th with a 3 year old AS boy and a 5 month old baby girl who is currently having motor skill issues and often shakes her head often which I am guessing she as well, will have AS. I love them with all my heart, they are not the hard part. Its their father. He does not know or understand how to "handle" me, we fight often because I expect so much from him (Damn the love movies I watched growing up as a kid).

Now, I would not give my children up for anything in the world, and I do love their father, BUT I need alone time SOOOoooOOoooOOoo badly. I have meltdowns like crazy since my second child has been born, the few minutes before sleep to write in Wrongplanet is the only time to myself I get. I would not discourage anyone from having a family... Just make sure if you do, your significant other respects your need to be alone and chips in on taking care of your babies. Mine does not, and I feel like dying sometimes I am so overwhelmed.

On a good note, the only time I am truly happy though, is when we have family time, when we are all together, having fun in our own little world of US!

So, I hope one day you find someone who at least understands you, and then have wonderful children because you really could not create something better than life.

As of right now, I'm not entirely sure. I've wondered what it'd be like for me to have kids and I'd hate to be the only one of my friends never to have reproduced 10 years from now.

I am not good with children and although I know I am pretty young (14) I have thought about this topic a lot.
I shall have to see how it goes as I cannot be relied upon to feed myself, etc.
So I may, or may not have children.
I know that my opinion will change over time.

I'm not fit to live to with another person, much less a child right now. I live my privacy and my solitude A LOT. I like not having to hold conversations a lot.

If you wait till the conditions are right for having children, it will never happen. its just best to go for it and things will work them selves out as you go.

The more I was rejected by women the more I wanted children. I wanted that family of my own my whole life, and it felt like if I kept waiting for woman to accept me I would never have had children. it felt so unfair.

Eventually I did have that son, the woman didnt want to keep me but I do have that son, and he has been way WORTH IT. out of all my lonely years I have finely found that best friend to do things with and spend time with and to love and that loves me back. and that wont just go away once board with me, my own captive audience that wants to stay and spend time with me.

Compared to what my life was like before he came along, I am 200% happier, just I really wish I could have kept the woman too, I get lonely for that companionship I could only get from a partner and a mate. but cant have everything can I?

I never had friends while growing up and over the long empty years, he has made a world of difference to me and in my life. through him I can be that kid again to play with a friend I never had at those ages. same for when he becomes that teen, and when he finely moves on with a wife and child of his own, perhaps I can be that spoiling grand parent as well.

And contrary to how other perceive me to be, or what kind of parent others thought I would become, as it turned out I am one hell of a good parent and father, do better then most parents where there is a couple to help raise the child instead of a single parent like me. so even though women didn't see me as that kind of mate material, they were wrong, I make a damn good father. I just needed that chance to prove it. I may not be that best or perfect parent, but I damn well know I am better then most.

Just because a man can not always be what a woman wants him to be, does not mean he would make a bad father or parent.

no interest in it. although in my particular case, given how much trouble i have caring for myself, i feel it would be irresponsible, unless something major changed.

i have younger cousins and a godson. my therapist and i are looking into a service dog for me. that's good enough for me.

Also, lions and tigers are part of the feline family and they work together.

I don't think having kids would be right for me either because 1. I hate babies, that alone is enough to put me off, 2. I'd rather be with a man than a woman, 3. I think the idea of surrogacy is stupid so I wouldn't want anyone to have a kid for me, 4. I don't like the sound of adoption either and 5. I'm not very good at caring for myself so it wouldn't be a good idea

Personally! I don't want to have kids. I don't think I could stand to have a baby/kid screaming at me, especially at 3am. I like my home space to myself and knowing I have to share my space with another person would drive me nuts.

Having kids is selfish cause people just do it for the emotional experience of having kids and for no other reason. I do not want to take care of a child, I can barely handle myself as it is. Couples mostly fall into love because of physical attraction and to ensure reproduction to pass the good genes onto offspring, the bond between them is made subconsciously to make sure they stay together so the offspring is taken care of. I don't want to be apart of mother natures game, every human does not need to reproduce. Marriage is a human construct and less people are getting married, also most marriages end in divorce (because it's unnatural) couples get bored of each other, fight with each other, sacrifice space, time, energy for each other....for nothing but their emotions and intercourse. Also there is a risk of the children being ugly (It is a fact that parents tend to treat ugly children with less love then beautiful children) I do not want to resent my child for the rest of my life because they are ugly. Also there is risk of them having a disabling disease that would cost to much money to keep them. Children cost to much money to begin with.

There is no practical reason to reproduce.

For a long time, I didn't want family. Then I met the woman who is now my wife, and she had two wonderful children. It is hard. Marriage with an NT is hard, and raising NT kids as an Aspie has proven very challenging for me, but they are also my world. I would never have envisioned my life turning out this way, but I am blessed to have family. We've learned to make it work. I have a sensory room in my home where I can be alone without stimuli (except my weighted blanket and other things like that) when I am overstimulated. It is hard on my wife, because she has to play more of the parental role than me sometimes, but thankfully she loves me and understands me.

I guess I am rambling, but for those who want one or even happen into one, having AS and having a family can definitely be a beautiful thing. I wouldn't trade my situation for any other one in the world.