I hate when people ask what I do for a living

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Al725
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07 Mar 2014, 11:10 pm

So I admit it. I'm unemployed. It sucks,but I feel I'm not the only one. So why do people that I meet at social gatherings feel compelled to ask this freakin' question! The way I see it; even if I was employed I don't feel that it is any of their buissness what I do. What if I was in the CIA for example? Anyhow, I never ask that question to anybody. I geuss one reason is that they could be unemployed too and I know how it feels. Besides that, I couldn't give a rat's ass about other people's job and I see it as totally irrelevent when meeting people. But for.some reason, them darned NTs think it is the most important thing about getting to know someone. Just another reason for me to avoid social gatherings as much as I can.



aspiemike
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07 Mar 2014, 11:22 pm

It's always asked out of curiosity and interest. Someone took enough interest in you to ask you what you do for a living. congrats. that's better than not being asked anything.

Your answer of course determines whether they want to continue talking to you as well, and it doesn't matter what you do as long as you are happy with what you do.


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LeftWeems
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07 Mar 2014, 11:30 pm

I wouldn't let it bother you. Just a way strangers make small talk. Don't let it get to you or sour you on socialization.



redrobin62
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07 Mar 2014, 11:38 pm

In the past I would've answered, "I'm a nurse." Nowadays I just say I'm disabled. I hope they don't think less of me.



NotThatClever13
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07 Mar 2014, 11:50 pm

It really sucks being unemployed and being asked this question. I'm in the same boat currently. I never know if they will look down on me for it or not.


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KingdomOfRats
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07 Mar 2014, 11:53 pm

have never had that trouble as am always assumed to be non functional, but am ocasionaly working for the NHS [handsomly paid] as a interviewer for scouting out new staff and specialists for the learning [US= intelectual] disability team because am a long time service user of theirs and know what to look for.....so more fool them. :P

humans are just very nosey,and some use job stuff as a way to better their ego;who cares;its just a way of making money.
anyone who has got a strong work ethic-regardless of job shoud be respected equaly for it.


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LeftWeems
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07 Mar 2014, 11:55 pm

NotThatClever13 wrote:
It really sucks being unemployed and being asked this question. I'm in the same boat currently. I never know if they will look down on me for it or not.

Yeah that's always my fear too. Got a date tomorrow evening and I'm sure this question will come up. It is tough because I do feel people look down especially if you appear more HFA.



DevilKisses
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08 Mar 2014, 12:21 am

If you look like you're in your twenties just tell them that you're a student.


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League_Girl
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08 Mar 2014, 12:27 am

It's a social thing they do. People always ask you questions about yourself.


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NotThatClever13
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08 Mar 2014, 12:35 am

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Yeah that's always my fear too. Got a date tomorrow evening and I'm sure this question will come up. It is tough because I do feel people look down especially if you appear more HFA.


I find is better just to be honest about it. If the person refuses to understand then you probably don't want to be around them anyway. Keep trying though and eventually you'll find at least one or two people who, even if they don't understand, will make there best effort.


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Dantac
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08 Mar 2014, 12:44 am

Its usually used as part of small chat as well as finding out what you do. Some people do work in the field they like so that can open more conversational topics and stuff.

I do hate it however when the first thing a girl asks me on the first date is what I do for a living. Its such a gold digger move that sometimes I want to (and I did once) just stand up and leave.



rapidroy
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08 Mar 2014, 12:49 am

Yah, I feel like those people are trying to judge you are by your answer to that one question and the response I get is often not very friendly and its one of the unfortunate realities of learning how to appear much higher functioning then you really are.

I have formulated a scripted answer that vaguely plays up the hours and importance of the accommodated part time job I have as well as some other hobbies and projects I have or have helped out on. It sounds decent enough since with the economy the way it is and my being single and all of that giving the impression that I work about 25 hours a week on a varying schedule usually satisfies people and they buy the story.

Even if all you do is volunteer or occasionally hand in some beer bottles or something like that its better to report that then essentially saying you sit around playing video games and collect disability, many people will see that is simply leeching off of their tax dollars weather that is actually truth or not.

Of course then try to redirect the conversation, no one needs to know the fine details as to how I or anyone on here make a living. After all money is suppost to be off topic right?



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08 Mar 2014, 1:19 am

To be honest, this is actually a part of the reason why I decided to get a crappy job as a cashier. I was tired of telling people I was an unemployed high school dropout. At one point I was seriously considering going on disability, but it just never happened since I didn't want to go through with getting a psych evaluation done by some doctor who wouldn't believe that there was anything wrong with me. That, and my stupid pride convinced me that it would be better to get a job I could barely handle. :roll:

The job I'm at right now is a really poor fit for me, as I have to deal with lots of people, endure lots of stimuli, and conceal a good amount of my anxiety about dealing with things like raw meat drippings, saliva on people's bills, etc. I'm only doing it because the grocery store that hired me was the first (and only) place that was willing to call me back after the initial interview, and I needed the money. My bosses say that I'm doing OK, but I have a feeling they're only saying that to be polite.

Back on topic though, I honestly don't know what a good response would be. I mean, in your situation I would probably say something smart-alecky like "I raise unicorns", or "I'm a corporate slave", though these may not be the best responses if whoever you're talking to is looking for a serious answer.

I think that most of the time, when people ask one another what they do for a living, they're looking for something to talk about, because let's face it; modern North American society is highly career-focused, and people are practically defined by what they do to make money, so most people don't have much to talk about besides work. The only reason why I ever talk about work is because it just feels good to b***h and complain about it and let it off my chest, not because it actually interests me. Whenever I want to actually make conversation, I tend to prefer talking about music, computers, and other topics that actually interest me.



Jeannius
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08 Mar 2014, 3:56 am

It is a pretty standard opening to ask about work, perhaps a better one would be 'what are you interested in". Maybe you could counter with answering their work question with something like "Just between jobs at the moment" or "It's secret government stuff, can't talk about it", and then ask them what they are interested in. Most NT's like to talk about themselves given the chance. Only trouble is, we probably aren't interested. But if you are obliged to be sociable, get them to do the talking. Something different to try anyway.



EzraS
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08 Mar 2014, 4:15 am

You know what it reminds me of? One dog sniffing anther dog's butt. Is purely an evaluation.
And am thinking is only asked by people who think they have important jobs to see how you stack up.
And kids get that too. Not me but my friend and my cousin. "what school do you go to, how are your grades, do you play any sports?". What happened to Mind Your Own Business?



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08 Mar 2014, 4:25 am

It's a subtle competition - I think.
They are seeing what job you have so they can go "oh cool, I am...."
It also starts a conversation.
I find it funny how NTs have sentence starters.
Back to first point, it's their way of making them feel better about themselves,
when people interact with me they assume I must be good at maths so they ask my grades
and when I used to give them an answer they'd smile and say something along the lines of "I'm better than you",
so now I don't share my grades.
Usually when someone asks me these types of questions such as the job one or one about grades
I say "you first"
and then I don't tell them mine.
:twisted:


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