Toxic mother?

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OK, so I'm supposed to go to a physiotherapist but the first sessions didn't go to well; the exercices were bad and the therapist uncommunicative.
I chitchated about it to my mother via skype later, and after 5 minutes, she told me "ok, I just phoned the physio, everything is settled". I was WHAAAAAT? I never asked her to phone to my physio!

My mother still thinks I'm a child, and I'm 33. I'm pissed as HELL, is this the sign of a toxic mother or am I overreacting?

I'm really pissed at my mother who by her attitude, made me look like "mommy's little son" at age 33, when, as an aspie, being seen as an adult and not being patronized and infantilized is an everyday struggle and an uphill battle.

It's typical of her attitude, when I was 16, I had to pass an oral exam but that day I broke down and my mother phoned the teacher to TELL him that I was anxious and shy, and when I came back to school everyone knew about it and I was bullied endlessly which resulted in me dropping out of school.

Is my mother's attitude actually normal or am I just overreacting? My mother doesn't seem to realize she did anything wrong.

An important lesson, if you don't want them to try to help, no need to share any problems with a parent.

It's parental instinct to try to fix things for their kids.

Your situation sounds like what the "happy birthday Colin" mom is doing for her son. And I'm very sorry about that. I think your mom should've never called, she should've asked first what type of help you were seeking or if you just wanted someone to listen while you vented. Maybe you should bring up to her that sometimes you just need to vent to someone. Many times I need to just vent to someone in order to verbally work out my feelings and that's all I need.

Yes indeed, I feel my situation is typical Aspie: half miscommunication, half infantilization

Tell your mum how you feel about it and explain that you don't want her to do it again but don't call her a toxic mother or any other name. Tell her you know she meant well. I agree it was kind-of like what Colin's mother did on facebook. In both cases the mum had good intentions, to help her son but was misguided.


When I was a kid my mum was told by my gymnastics teacher that I was teased by the other kids in the class. Somehow she arranged it so that the gymnastics teacher talked to the class about me, saying that I had a learning disability (I was diagnosed with a specific learning disorder) and they shouldn't tease me just because I was different. The teacher gave the talk in-front of me and it was really embarrassing! I was about 10 years old. I screamed at my mum about telling the teacher about my disability afterwards. She never did anything like that again.

You could say that my parents were (are) toxic, too. I their case, it was a combination of denial that I might be different, and just clumsiness (both unintentional and intentional) on their part. I fixed that by generally keeping them out of my life for the most part and I've kept distance between me and them by living in another state or at least another county without visiting much.

I don't know what toxic mother actually means to be honest.

Parents will undermine your interests at every opportunity, and destroy your relationships. Do not tell them anything about your personal life; they will interfere, and destroy whatever you have going.

Sounds like mine. It is hard to face and depletes who I am. She does not like or care to find out who I am.

I am just soulless to her. A thing with Asperger's. At least many people see through her facade.

A realisation that is hurting me deeply at the moment. I feel like I have nobody.

/\
I haven't and don't plan to cut mine totally off (one of them is deceased, anyway) but I only have an intentionally distant relationship with the other.

"Toxic Mother" would be a great name for a rock band.