Depression .....

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This is just my CURRENT take on depression ...

I was watching an interview on TV recently , ironically a comedian was being interviewed.

The interviewer joked that nobody had ever seen a photo of the comedian smiling and the guy said nice and slowly ....... " I'm just not a happy person ! " ...

It got me thinnking about MYSELF..... I've battled mood swings and / or depression for decades .... I can't ever recall actually being happy for long ..... maybe a few minutes at a time .. say if I come across a puppy on the local park I'm delirious whilst I'm playing and cuddling it but the feeling is very short lived .

I'm usually so involved on my interests / obsessions that I see myself as being "focused" rather than happy ...

Even when I watch comedy series such as The Big Bang Theory .....and Sheldon is on top form ..... I find myself being intrigued with him / the situation rather than laughing my head off ....


Sorry I'm not great explaining my self but I'm just wondering if some people are never going to be HAPPY as such .



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Last edited by Zincubus on 10 Mar 2014, 11:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm struggling with depression myself. I've tried so many different kinds of antidepressants, but they don't seem to work too well. Depression is a major trait of Asperger's and I've had it all my life. I find my moments of happiness to be short lived as well. Like I'll laugh or smile about something and then instantly go back to the same depressed look on my face. I think a big part of my depression has to do with not having a job yet, being stuck living with 6 other people in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment and being a single mom. So there's stress involved, too. I've been reading this booklet on acceptance a few times and it seems to make me feel better after I read it, but, again, it's short lived. So I can relate to what you're going through. I just try to think of my situation as a test of acceptance. And I'm REALLY being tested right now. Have you tried any antidepressants? Hope I'm not getting too personal. Good luck to you!

I can relate. I personally don't strive for happiness. As I would be perpetually depressed (as that is something I rarely attain).

My goal is just to keep my mind busy. Otherwise, I have the tendency to think "negative thoughts". Which is never healthy.

You've probably hit the nail on the head , there .

I wonder if keeping myself busy with my obsessions just stops me from worrying about things !??

You've probably hit the nail on the head , there .

I wonder if keeping myself busy with my obsessions just stops me from worrying about things !??

Thanks ... I've suffered over the years due to various medicines so I gave up on ALL medications ( prescribed and over the counter ones ) over two years ago .

I've never been healthier now I'm completely clean - just these damn mood swings / depressive periods . I don't ever recall being happy , as such .... maybe I've hit on something here.

I've been on Risperdal for a year but my psychiatrist recently switched me to Celexa because it doesn't seen the Risperdal was working for my depression. I do think that, maybe, the Risperdal did help with me not having sleep paralysis anymore so we'll see.

What is sleep paralysis?

Depression sucks, it sucks the life out of everything...it just sucks all and all. As for comedy I enjoy some, but I could see why comedians and people involved with comedy might be depressed. Just because you laugh about something doesn't mean it doesn't suck...one of my favorites is george Carlin I love dark sort of comedy with intellecutual points. I also really liked Mich Hedberg who dies of a drug overdose, he has quite good stoner humour. I do like the episode of Metalocalypse they did about comedy but some people here may not appreciate the comedy in that episode....I however love that show. So intrestingly enough it would seem comedy and depression can go hand in hand. Like a depressed person could see a bunch of flaws in society and make jokes about it which people laugh at so they pay to hear it. Sometimes you have to laugh at how sh*tty things are or you go insane.

my signature is supposed to be a joke, but not sure how many people actually laugh at it...

+1

My big issue is having NOTHING in life which I am passionate about. A dead-end job frustrates me because if work itself does not fulfill me (even in part), then it's what I find to do outside of work that must take that role, and if you don't make enough money or have time to spend it on what interests you, life becomes meaningless real fast.

I think the conventional idea of happiness (never feeling bad and always feeling good) is false to begin with. So, quite a few people will never be "happy," but they can appreciate their life, feel hopeful about their future, or do things that are meaningful to them. There are a lot of positive emotions other than happiness.

In my teenage years and early twenties I was able to find comfort in feeling sad. I aloud myself to lose myself deep into a a black hole because I still had the future ahead of me to change things around. I thought the grass is always greener...

I thought if one day I could just snap out of it. One day I realized I wanted to change and no longer have the hangups I felt I had on a daily basis. I started to change my life around a year and a half ago. Inside and out I have been changing every day. If you have the will that is a good start. If you don't have the will then that is when you get stuck.

Don't think finding happiness or success is something that can happen overnight it is a long long journey and a lot of hard work.

Wow , I'm the opposite .... I have too many things that I'm passionate / obsessive about .

That's why I'm always so tired , I feel .

Another thing I've noticed about myself is that apart from being overly anxious about everything....... I don't seem able to switch -off or relax like some people do .

It's a kind of vicious circle .

I keep getting depression that comes in swings, and it's always based on how my social status is going within the moment. Like just two days ago I was sitting there sobbing my heart out because all of my friends and cousins all have a boyfriend or girlfriend (even the Aspie ones), and I felt like a lonely outcast.

Then the man I like (who isn't available for a date but still talks to me as a friend), phoned up last night and we had a little chat, and I suddenly felt all relaxed and happy again, and I viewed things with a positive attitude for a few hours. Then I woke up this morning feeling tired and depressed again because I felt lonely and bored of my life.

Until I try meds (which will be hopefully this week because I have an appointment with the doctor), hopefully my overreacting thoughts and emotions about this whole thing will calm down. But until then, this thing about other people having it all and I have to wait a long time and work hard to gain those things, just gets to me and the emotion is so strong that nothing can make me think differently, even if I try. I have brought some books on confidence-building, how to fight negative thoughts, and I have a set of CBT books too, but this anxiety and stress about not having something everyone else has got is all strong to fight off and is really damaging me emotionally.

Real depression isn't that simple. You probably weren't actually depressed.

I find any kind of CBT that starts off with telling you to change your thoughts off-putting. When every bone in my body is screaming "there's a big problem here", it's pretty much impossible for me to stop obsessing over whatever I think is wrong with my life. Being told to "change your thinking pattern" will always register subconsciously as "you don't have a problem", so I fall even deeper into the rabbit hole fighting myself and judging my own thoughts. Meditation is one thing that works to some degree, but it isn't really feasible when you have to be out and about. The only thing that really works for me is to try my hardest to do the things I really enjoy. When I can't even do that it gets pretty bleak, but usually I can wait it out. With medication the worst periods of anhedonia don't last forever. That's a big consolation to me. I just try my best to appreciate the times I do manage to feel happy.

Severely depressive moments can really warp your perspective to the point where every single thing in the world seems empty and meaningless. It's pretty much impossible to see out of that kind of deep pit right in the moment. I spend a lot of mental energy just learning to tolerate the lows until I make it through. The tiniest things can trigger the deepest depressions, but I try my hardest to persevere through them without having a complete meltdown or sabotaging any of the good things I have going for me. No matter what messages you pick up from society at large, it doesn't do any good to judge yourself for what you're feeling. That's just adding insult to injury. You have to find ways to fight back without judging yourself. Go out and exercise because it might make you feel better, even if it takes a lot of effort and is only temporary relief. Don't go out and exercise because you feel like you're a lazy bum or it will never happen.

I also have to learn to accept that a lot of people don't understand. That's the hardest thing personally. I have people in my life that do understand and that's really a life saver. That's about all I can say regarding depression.

Last edited by marshall on 11 Mar 2014, 11:20 am, edited 1 time in total.