Asperger's and mild paranoia, delusion and thinking disorder

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Hello,
I haven't been here for a long time so I need to give you a short introduction.
I was diagosed with Asperger's with 22 by an Autism expert (I accidentally landed in a clinic she worked in) but my doc moved away and all the other docs I went to say it's undifferenciated Schizophrenia. And it's driving me nuts to know which one it is!

So basically i came across this paper: CLICK FOR LINK which says Aspies may have delusions and such but the nature of their delusions and hallucinations differ from those of schizophrenics. but it doesn't say HOW it differs.

My "delusions" which were 2 and i didn't even bother to tell my docs about it were: once i was at the university and I thought i have to say hello and shake hands with everyone in the auditorium as if it is expected from me. the second one is too stupid. I basicly wished something evil to happen so hard and then i thought it would actually happen right now because i wished it and for 2 hours i was feeeling the impending doom (I actually praid for it to happen for one week every night before going to sleep). anyways the diagnosus can't come from these because I didn't tell these to anybody.

The stuff that actually got me the schizophrenia diagnosis are:

-mild thinking disorder (mostly racing thoughts, with completely useless thoughts too but only in half-sleep)
-"weird thoughts" (As my doc put it today. like violant thoughts or intrusive thoughts but not the kind you would act on. rather the kind of "it would hurt really bad if someone would hit someone would with that tire iron in the face" also nothing involving me doing something. could as well be OCD I suppose.
-Derealization, Derealization, DEREALIZATION. the surrounding (trees, walls, rooms) have lost the feeling they had to them. since i was 15yo.
-Agitation, AGITATION AGITATION. very bad one. True hell.
-I also sometimes hear single syllables or maybe whole words (like my name) in very loud places or when the vaccum cleaner is on but i generally have never heard real voices (really talking sentences) or seen things.
And that's it. And voila I am schizophrenic.
Or Maybe NOT? are these stuff compatible with asperger's? like asperger's side effects or something? Are the doctors here in Germany missing something?

Cheerz
Omid

I'm not sure if I have what you're describing exactly, except for the agitation. I do become easily agitated, especially when I'm around the people I love the most for some reason.

I don't know if this is a delusion or not, but I have a tendency to get a bad thought fixated in my mind and I spend a lot of time focusing on it, making me go aloof and not enjoying the things around me. At the moment I get really upset if I get ignored by strangers. I know it shouldn't worry me what strangers are doing, which is why it is a problem. I always find that no matter how nicely I make eye contact and smile at passing strangers, it is shockingly rare that I get any response (like a smile back or a hello). But when I'm with other people, they always seem to attract friendly attention from strangers, by staring at them and smiling. I start feeling angry and upset inside, and then start beating myself up over it because I become self-conscious and worry that there is something about me what makes people turn away, even though I walk up straight, dress presentably and look pretty descent. Some online users tell me that being ignored by a stranger is common and that normally strangers don't acknowledge each other and so it shouldn't be anything to be ashamed of. But you try telling that to people like my mum; she seems to think that it is a human standard to be friendly to strangers as they pass you. But unfortunately it doesn't seem to work with me, so now I have become dispondant with people and I just keep my head down when I pass because I have learnt that I waste my energy on trying to be friendly and being completely ignored like I'm some sort of freak.

Sorry to gabble on there but again that is what always goes through my mind and is spoiling my time out with people. I don't know if that's a type of delusion sort of thing.

why can't it be both?

In manic states of Bipolar Disorder (I or II), one can actually have a dissociative fugue which mimics a schizophrenic state. However, one who is not permanently in a dissociative condition is most likely not schizophrenic but suffering from Biplolar Disorder, perhaps with Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well, these conditions being common comorbidities with Asperger's.

That being said, you have not given enough information for a diagnosis. Moreover, no one at WP is able or authorized to diagnose you. Certainly, I am not diagnosing you. I am merely speculating because I like to speculate. You must go to a licensed specialist to determine the correct diagnosis. I suggest you get a referral and schedule an appointment tomorrow. It's too important to neglect.

^ Just wanted to chime in and say that manic states only occur in bipolar-I. Hypomania only, meaning that psychosis CANNOT manifest itself, occurs in bipolar-II.

I've experienced a lot of stuff like this too, particularly dissociative experiences, confused/nonsensical thoughts and mild or para-hallucinations. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at one point, then schizoaffective, but the reasons given for the diagnosis kept changing. It seemed to me as though once the dx was there, doctors felt like they had to stick to it, so any new information or changes had to be put inside the existing "psychosis" box, rather than considering the possibility that a different model for explaining things could be more useful.

When I took myself off the antipsychotic drugs and didn't become any "worse" without them, it was finally decided that psychosis/schizophrenia wasn't the problem.

The first psychiatrist I saw wouldn't consider an ASD, even though a psychologist who specialised in diagnosing ASDs had given me that dx already. His reasoning was: "I don't know much about autism, but people with autism aren't very intelligent, and you're intelligent, so I don't think you have that." I'm sure you can see the problems in this reasoning.

I can't know the exact extent to which our brains/experiences are similar, and I can't know exactly what your doctors' reasoning is on this subject. But if your current treatments are not helping you, and you think a change in official diagnosis would help you to get what you need, then perhaps it would be worth seeking out the opinion of an autism specialist.

I hope this helps.

Thank you, That helps a lot.
The thing is, I do NOT have enough symptoms to qualify for aspergers nor do I have enough symptoms to qualify for schizophrenia. the only thing that makes me wonder BIG TIME is why they insist on schizophrenia. I have never BEHAVED schizophrenic in any way. I have just REPORTED stuff. Which can as well be my stupid way of reporting stuff that got me the Schizophrenia diagnosis, which in turn can indicate bleeding Asperger's.

I used to suffer from bouts of "paranoid delusional" thinking. It was a hallmark of an upcoming shutdown at times.

Basically it went like this...

Something seems to go wrong at work. I begin obsessing over it. I start to believe my boss is upset with me. Before you know it, I see the problem as massive, and I can't stop thinking about it. In a matter of minutes, I'm useless for the rest of the day because I'm too upset/depressed to think of anything else.

As I got more confidence in my work, this ebbed off, but I still have to force myself to not focus on what people think but rather just on doing the task at hand so that I don't trigger it.

Yeah, I had the same problem. My way of thinking about and communicating things has always been unusual; it took me a long time to figure out what it was that I was saying that made people come to these conclusions that I'd never meant to communicate. I realised that the onus had been placed on me to speak the psychiatrist's language, because they seemed unwilling to try to understand mine.

I think, a lot of the time, psychiatrists are technicians - there are certain tools (mostly medication) with which psychiatrists are equipped to deal with problems, but they don't really investigate those problems beyond the existing framework. And if you go to them with a problem, it's likely they'll want to use one of their tools to fix it, even if it seems obvious that your experience doesn't go neatly into any of the available boxes.

That's been my experience, anyway.

I've experienced intrusive thoughts of that nature my whole life. For a while I was afraid I would become a serial killer or worse, it was very upsetting when it would happen. Over time I began ignoring the intrusive thoughts, and now they aren't such a problem. I hear my name and other voices in loud environments (the voices are always talking to me), and in crowds I get extreme "Jamais vu" and it's very uncomfortable. Sounds more ocd that schizophrenia to me. Most schizophrenics have very little insight into the nature of their problems, you seem to have a good grasp on what the issues are that you struggle with. I live with my mother who has schizophrenia, takes medication for it, and still refuses to believe anything at all is wrong with her. I've have had similar delusions, but they were transient in nature, and nothing like the grandiose and long held ones often associated with schizophrenia.

I've found this article useful:

http://m.helpguide.org/articles/schizop ... a-symptoms