Is understanding necessary for trust?

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dianthus
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12 Mar 2014, 5:59 pm

I was thinking about how I find it hard to trust people. And the reason is usually not that I think they have bad intentions towards me. It's because I know they don't understand me. A person can have good intentions but if they don't understand how their actions affect me, they might hurt me anyway.

If a person has already hurt me and I think about whether or not I can trust them again...I just want to know if they understand how their actions were hurtful. Sometimes people know they have hurt me but they don't understand how or why so they just do it again.

I am thinking it works the same way, vice versa, if other people feel that I don't understand them, or don't show enough empathy towards them, maybe they don't trust me either.



Waterfalls
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12 Mar 2014, 6:42 pm

That makes a lot of sense to me.



daydreamer84
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12 Mar 2014, 6:46 pm

Also if you don't understand people than it's hard to trust them. If you're not good at figuring out when someone's being dishonest or "just trying to be polite" or teasing rather than being serious and direct then how can you trust them?

For me, once I decide someone's trustworthy or a friend I trust them and sometimes trust them too far or maybe make the judgement that they are trustworthy too quickly and have been screwed over by people I've put in that category in the past. At first I'm cautious and sceptical, though, I think.



Eloa
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12 Mar 2014, 6:51 pm

To a brain understanding is necessary.
Understanding is processing.
Processing makes room for new information.


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sleepingfish
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12 Mar 2014, 7:36 pm

You can trust someone without understanding but it's not a good idea much of the time. Some people would call trust without understanding faith. I try to accept people rather than trust them - good friendships can be based on acceptance.



Jermaine
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12 Mar 2014, 10:00 pm

sleepingfish wrote:
I try to accept people rather than trust them


Well said.


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