will smiling at somebody help to make friends?

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What happens after you smile at them? Nobody ever every talks to me and somebody told me smiling will help... will it?

A smile is a gesture that signals your desire to make friendly contact. So, yes, smiling does help. It shouldn't be constant, though; smile when you meet someone or are introduced to them, and smile when you are saying or hearing something that's funny enough to notice but not funny enough to laugh at. Also smile when you hear good news from someone.

Most people, when you smile at them, will smile back. It means, "I acknowledge your presence and also desire to make friendly contact." In some contexts, such as meeting a familiar person in a hallway, an exchange of smiles can be a form of greeting, and does not necessarily mean that they want to stop and talk. On the other hand, if they stop and face you, they probably want to greet you.

Perhaps, if you don't smile at people that you want to talk to, they are misreading your body language as saying, "I want to be alone".

I have found smiling makes a difference.
I think if you are quiet and keep to yourself AND never smile, people figure you are unfriendly.
So even though I am quiet and keep to myself, I do smile at people so am considered someone
who is quiet and keeps to himself, but is a nice person.
When I smile at people, I think of what makes me really happy, that way my smile is not fake.

I was told that too. It doesn't make people friends but it helps. People tend to smile back if you look genuine, and people want to be happy, so they are much more likely to be interested and pleasant when you smile and look relaxed.

It makes you seem more approachable. If you just have a straight face the whole time, making a bit of eye contact with someone across the room, they might think you're staring at them because something is wrong with them for example.

Smile at them for a short moment, see if they smile back

a smile is supposed to help - the problem is many times when I attempt expressions they get misinterpreted - I don't know how often I have been relaxed and happy and trying to communicate it only to be asked what is wrong or why am I angry

I think people desire positivity in socialisation and making friends, so yes smiling helps, especially if you can do it naturally which I do without noticing now. Perhaps I do it a little too much but I don't think the effects have been too adverse...

I often get confused with this. I was always taught to smile and the world will smile with me, also meaning I will attract more friendly attention and will be treated as a friendly person, and happiness will follow.

Yet I have noticed that a lot of quiet type of NTs don't smile at anyone when I first meet them. Like when my cousin (who is an extroverted NT) brought his girlfriend to a family barbecue in our garden, I smiled and was about to say hello to his girlfriend, and I noticed she just looked at me with a funny stare and a completely straight face, which suddenly made me lose courage, so my friendly smile turned into an awkward smile and I walked away. My cousin didn't seem to notice. But I noticed on her Facebook that she is very popular, but when I said to somebody (who doesn't know the girl) that she seemed unfriendly, they just said ''oh maybe she's shy''. And I have had this said to me in most situations like this.

So it sounds like it IS socially acceptable to not smile but glare at people if you are shy and in an unfamiliar environment for the first time, although it contradicts all this stuff they say about smiling. Maybe I should not smile when somewhere where I know nobody and I'm feeling shy then.

I think it might help.

I usually nod and I also wink at people quite a lot. But I think that might be a tic.

I smile at people all the time and I don't make any friends. Hah. And nobody ever talks to me.

Sometimes people will smile back, sometimes people won't, sometimes people will look away. Sometimes people smile back just because it is a friendly reaction, sometimes because they think you recognise them from somewhere.

hollowmoon wrote:
"What happens after you smile at them? Nobody ever every talks to me and somebody told me smiling will help... will it?"

Well... yes and no.
Smiles are part of non verbal communication so if the smile looks "right", is consistent with other non verbal cues, and correct for situation it helps. Otherwise it does not. NT's have an intuitive understanding of non verbal communication, most autistic's do not.

When I was young I tried to mimic the expressions of people I observed and use the expressions in what I thought was the proper context. It almost never worked because I have practically no understanding of non verbal communication beyond the obvious smiles, frowns, and displays of anger.

My solution was to simply be myself. That is, I displayed facial and body language that felt natural to me and appropriate for the situation. It didn't always work but it worked better than trying to mimic NT behavior. Yes I was often asked why I was sad or angry or upset, but honesty equals consistency and consistency is very important in social interaction. I'm not suggesting this as the best way, it's just one of the ways I adapted to the inescapable need to function and compete in the NT world.

If you Google "non verbal communication" you'll get more than 8 million results. Among the many things you'll find is that non verbal communication can be learned. It is not easy if you don't have an intuitive understanding. But with the help of a therapist or mentor and lots of practice it is possible to become proficient and confident in your ability to display and recognize non verbal cues. In my humble opinion that is a much better way to go. If I'd had the opportunity it is what I would have tried.

I realize that I have expanded the scope of the original post, however effective communication is an issue that anyone contemplating living independently must deal with. A smile is just the tip of a very large non verbal iceberg.(figure of speech)

Well, you cannot fake a smile. If you do, people can tell it is not real, and that is worse than not smiling at all. Be genuine. If people do not like you for yourself, you don't need them.

I agree, that's why I let thinking about something that makes me smile do the work.
If I just grinned at people might look a little creepy.

Yep. And smiles, to be effective and non-threatening (yep), must be displayed at exactly the right time, and in the right manner or they can be construed as threatening by an N.T., (at least for a big old ugly guy like me). I just have found keeping facial expressions to a minimum works best for me, and no one seems to care if I smile or not.

denny

Smiling helps with attracting potential friends, because people are attracted to people who are happy. Since people are more likely to connect with people who are in a good mood, smiling would be a good idea. It works for me.

I smile at people and I still have no friends.

Yes, it helps. BUt don't do it all the time.