In general, how do Aspies turn out as adults?

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How do we end up living?
Sad, lonely life 32%  32%  [ 42 ]
Alone and happy 30%  30%  [ 39 ]
Normal, like every one else 20%  20%  [ 26 ]
Sucessful, maybe rich 10%  10%  [ 13 ]
Taken care of our entire lives 8%  8%  [ 10 ]
Total votes : 130

Kaelynn
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14 Aug 2012, 12:14 am

Do most of us grow up to live alone and have sad lives? Do we live with our parents until they die? Do we follow our obessions and make lots of money? What normally becomes of Aspie adults?



Ganondox
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14 Aug 2012, 12:34 am

The diagnosis is too recent for there to be a clear prognosis, but it's generally better if one was diagnosed earlier in life and if they have gotten more support.


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CrystalStars
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14 Aug 2012, 12:38 am

Not all of us are going to grow up sad and alone, though statistically we're more likely to wind up alone than somebody who is NT. I'm fairly certain that only the minority of us, even the talented ones end up holding down a well paying job, or any job for that matter. That said, there are those of us who will both a family, and a job.


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Saawariya
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14 Aug 2012, 12:58 am

I was diagnosed at 35 and I was already married and had 3 kids. My hubby has it and all my kids do as well. We even went on to have another. We own a house, a car and a few pets as well. Go to church on Sundays etc.

Are we normal Heck no! Normal is BORING!


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CyclopsSummers
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14 Aug 2012, 1:12 am

Ganondox wrote:
The diagnosis is too recent for there to be a clear prognosis, but it's generally better if one was diagnosed earlier in life and if they have gotten more support.


Emphasis on 'generally'. I was diagnosed at 6 or 7, had the best support from my mother, grandmother, and aunts, went to fine special schools with understanding teachers and got along well with classmates, and was a grade A student with ambition to study biology.

Now at 25, following a depression that extended from age 17-21, I find myself struggling to find and keep menial jobs, or maintain any kind of social life. Even moreso than 10 years ago, I am a social recluse whom most other people view as odd.

I'm happy with myself, but that doesn't mean I don't get criticism or dirty looks from other people for various reasons.


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14 Aug 2012, 1:45 am

There have been a few long-term outcome studies, mostly on the original patients that Asperger and Kanner studied. Results are widely varied. Some are married, some single; some are employed in high-level jobs, others have a spotty employment history; a few can't work at all; a few still live with family or in institutions. On average, it seems like autistic people who are relatively independent (can do own ADLs, can communicate at will) are living about as well as the average disabled person does. We're more often unemployed or underemployed, but also more likely to have college degrees. What part of this is due to poor access to services, and what part of it is intrinsic to autism, is anybody's guess. But I'm willing to bet that most of the disadvantages that autistic people struggle against today can be entirely removed by adjusting our culture so that autistics and other neurodiverse people have a place in it.

With the small amount of data I can scrape together, my best guess is that we tend toward the usual ups-and-downs lives that people in general have; that like most minorities, we struggle with prejudice and receive fewer opportunities than most people; but that, like for disabled people in general, life seems to be getting steadily better, so that the social problems our parents had to deal with are things that our children may never even see.


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14 Aug 2012, 2:36 am

I am a 56YO man who was diagnosed with Aspergers in my early 50s. I do have a college degree and I am steadily employed; I have had the same job for the last 12+ years. I am articulate and have my own house but I lack social skills. I do live by myself, but I consider myself happy. I am viewed with suspicion by some because I live by myself and I am not married; I view that as their problem, not mine. So in retrospect, I do struggle socially. I am different from the majority of people. I certainly feel that people diagnosed earlier in life can achieve and do more. That is not the case for me; I am what I am. Some things that I do everyday are excercising, meditating, and praying. This may not be a glamourous life but it is mine.



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14 Aug 2012, 2:58 am

53 years old. I cannot poke either first or second choice. Sad, lonely life. Alone and happy. Both.


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OJani
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14 Aug 2012, 4:01 am

I tend to fluctuate somewhere between the first and second option. I'm alone, happy, and sometimes lonely.

Technically I don't have an AS diagnosis, was dx'd with PDD-NOS as an adult.

I can hold down a steady job, but recently discovered that I lack skills (social, manager-type skills) that could seriously hamper my 'career'.

As for family life, though I can live independently in my own apartment, I find it extremely difficult to be in a romantic relationship, find a mate, and finally have an own family. Maybe it will never happen to me.

I can manage independence only with the help of others, I get constant counseling and advices from friends, meet my parents on a weekly basis, and already have been in adult therapy.


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14 Aug 2012, 4:25 am

I am somewhere between ADHD and AS (leaning towards AS at the current time) and most of my life has been utter crap when dealing with other people. However, I have been blessed with technical abilities that have let me do things that most other people can't. I can fix cars and do most home improvement projects by myself so that does help me live fairly well on a modest income. I do have friends, but none of them really know each other and it is doubtful that more than one or two would be able to be friends with each other. I have never been romantically involved and all of my attempts have ended in failures, usually humiliating ones. Nowadays, most people do see me as odd when they first meet me, especially outside of familiar surroundings like work. However, if someone actually does get to know me, I am generally well received and tolerated, or even liked. I have problems with depression, anxiety and insomnia that have been life long, but I do plan to try and get help for these issues and try to talk to someone about my suspicions of AS at the same time. I am fortunate in that my only real sensory issues are a need for cotton clothing, collarless shirts and an aversion to hot and spicy foods. I am not big on my appearance though and so I don't look like your stereotypical "normal" person out in public, unless it is a very casual place. This is not to say I am a 100% slob as I do shave and shower most days and usually try to wear clean clothes devoid of holes and stains. However, my clothes are inexpensive and practical and I tend to wear them long past when most other people would dare leave the house in them. Thus, I don't look like I am educated when in reality I am.


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DeusTempestas
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14 Aug 2012, 4:48 am

Yup, I'd have to say I turned out pretty much maladjusted. Being NT takes too much work most days, and isn't nearly as fun as going totally Aspie on the world. So I'm maladjusted and loving it. :D :wink:



GreenShadow
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14 Aug 2012, 5:13 am

I don't know anything about "general" - it calls for serious statistic studies

I can only speak about my life.

I'm alone, sometimes happy (In my own quiet way), sometimes depressed... sometimes lonely

cause I'm alone and I don't have kids - I can afford more "things" than many people - so they think that I'm rather wealthy (what I think is not true - very often they got much more money than me, but they spend tons of money on kids)

but I've got much more problems than "average" persons

summarizing

I think my life is just "normal"


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14 Aug 2012, 5:59 am

There's actually heaps of outcome studies done for AS and HFA (I've read dozens of them).

They pretty much say the same thing:

-majority don't work as adults ("majority" = anything over 50% in this case); those that do are usually well below their intellectual functioning in regards to the job
-most live at home with parents or in government housing
-most have few or no friends

So, that's [for the glass is half full types]:

-some work as adults
-some live by themselves
-some have friends and/or a partner



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14 Aug 2012, 12:32 pm

None of those really quite fit....I mean I have some friends/family members I spend time with so I am not nessisarily alone, I still live at my moms house(well I was living in dorms but college didn't work). But hopefully I can move out or something ASAP.....in which case I'd probably have to live with friends/other family and help them with rent since I doubt I will be making much money....otherwise I might end up homeless and have to stay at peoples houses or outside......in the summer I suppose there are cool little tree/bush caves to sleep in, in the various parks.


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14 Aug 2012, 12:42 pm

None fit me at the moment. Happily married, but generally unhappy because I want to have a career and can't. We'll see if that ever changes.



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14 Aug 2012, 1:50 pm

vanhalenkurtz wrote:
53 years old. I cannot poke either first or second choice. Sad, lonely life. Alone and happy. Both.


Ditto.


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