How do you detect bullying?

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How do you know if your or someone you know Is being bullied. How do you now if somones joking, upsetting you with out realizing it, or dilibrately making fun of you?

Bullying is making fun of someone in a repeated fashion with the goal of ruining the person's reputation among peers/worsening it (while gaining satisfaction and a feeling of dominance) from it, so it can happen in front of others so they can see it and how "bad" you take it, making you seem silly in the process. It can also happen subtly at first, e.g. by someone telling lies about you, spreading rumors and stealing stuff from you when you don't watch out. It can also mean being threatened (e.g. "I will beat you up") - usually not just once. The bully might also try to turn others against you with those lies and to take away friends and people who were rather supporting by manpulating them.
There is a thin line in between someone making fun of you and someone bullying you. If it really bothers you what was said/how the person made fun of you and the person notices it and continues to do so, it is clearly bullying, in my opinion.
If the person upsets you without realising it, it probably won't be an insulting joke, I guess. When telling the person "sorry, I failed the see the fun in the joke/I felt insulted by the joke" and the person realises it and apopogizes and tries to avoid any such kind of jokes in the future, you can assume it was accidentally and that the person did not know that you wouldn't take it that well.

Of course, by telling the person one could also make it worse, because if you reveal that it did have a negative effect on your mood/did hurt you and the person actually did intend to bully you/bullies you already without you realising it, it might be a confirmation of your "weakness" and might increase the behaviour of the bully...

It is not really easy to tell and I have been in that "getting bullied"-vicious circle for years during my school-time.
I consider bullies that combine the psychological terror with violence to be the worst...

Honestly it doesn't really matter if they're doing it on purpose. If you tell them 'this is upsetting to me', and they continue to do it, then they're not being a good person to you. Then it doesn't really matter if they're good in general, or to other people, you should try to get away from the situation.

Sometimes you can't tell. But Alyosha has a very good point--if you tell them to stop because it's upsetting you, and they don't, then it's a good bet that they're being abusive in some way.

Is it one sided? If the argument or banter is going both ways, it's not bullying.

Is the receiver of the comments OK with the comments? If they aren't, tell the person.

Have they told them they don't like the comments? If they have and the comments continue, this is bullying.

What other people say. But, I also pay attention to other people's reactions. It's hard for me to catch bullying where the person acts on the surface like they are being nice, when they are really trying to hurt me, or complaining behind my back. People are sometimes uncomfortable about that, though, and will sometimes tell me a person is doing something mean that I hadn't recognized. Some people do that to create drama when it isn't true, I still analyze what's going on to make my own decision.

I think it's bullying if the person isn't enjoying the teasing or the name calling and have told them to quit it. I don't think it matters if the person's intentions aren't meant to be bad but if the person isn't enjoying it, then it's bullying. I think unintentional is one thing but after being informed they don't like it and you keep on doing it, then it's bullying.

I think unintentional bullying can happen if they can't read body language and if the person is doing it back to them, it sends them the wrong signal thinking the person is enjoying it so they continue doing it thinking it's part of their friendship. I think that is what happened to me in 5th grade because my friend decided in 6th grade she didn't like me and I was mean and she never even told me what I was doing bothered her and I remembered she would speak with a British accent and pretend to be Anita from 101 Dalmatians and I would role play with her and my confusion is if she didn't like this at all, why didn't she say anything and why did she even participate in the game? This confused me for years and I realize now I may have misread her and didn't pick up it was bothering her because of body language. I always relied on words and I was taught communication is the key. Then I find out in high school people can read minds and you don't have to tell anyone because they would know on their own. I tried that and it didn't work because kids then wouldn't understand why I am so upset. I must have been doing it wrong.

I don't always know....but typically if I can see that they are intentionally doing something to make me or others feel like crap then its probably safe to say they are bullying. But sometimes it can be a little hard to understand peoples intentions, I know its not like I've never taken a joke or lighthearted teasing too hard....but objectively I do realize that is not bullying.

jenisautistic,
some people,as will know-are callous,manipulative social predators and have a lot of methods to bully people without it being easily detected,one such form is cryptic bullying which had personaly experienced a lot of by the said individual on every forum was followed to by him.

if its online,woud honestly recommend speaking to the mods, try not to get involved with whoever is commenting as its giving them fuel,and if the mods say its bullying itd be worth full size screenshotting everything they say and keeping it in a folder as evidence; taking advantage of a persons disability and cyber bullying them is an offense over here which can end up with the bully recieving jail time and a criminal record-whether the vulnerable target is child,teen or adult.

as for offline bullying,if it targets disability in any manner it may be classed as a hate crime towards disability in which case
it makes bullying even more serious in terms of the punishment and how serious police woud take it.
it might be worth popping along to the local cop shop just to speak to them about the best way to go about it.
bullying charities are pretty crap tbh as theyre all focused on kids without disabilities,or non disabled adults who get bullied in the work place.

Sometimes it takes subtle forms. If someone is persistently trivialising, isolating, excluding, discounting or disrespecting you, if you say something serious and they make a joke of it, and this is a pattern of theirs, you are being bullied. Look for this: they will have a persistent pattern of invalidating you - what you say, what you feel, what you do, whatever you do.