Should I tell the psychologist about this?

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Ok, so my assessment finally started earlier this week. I've only been to one session so far and that was pretty much only a session where the psychologist (who's specialized in ASD and ADHD) gave me some information about what's going to happen etc. I'm going there in about a week for my first "real" session and the psychologist said she hopes the assessment will be done in the early summer.

During the 1.5 years I've had to wait for the assessment, I've been going back and forth between thinking that I have Asperger's and that it's completely absurd to think I have it. For a while I was utterly obsessed with figuring out what was wrong with me and whether or not I have AS. I say "obsessed" because I think my OCD latched onto the whole thing and it really made me feel horrible. I was very active on this forum, I read a lot about Asperger's, I wrote lists about why I think I might have it (which I, to be honest, think was just one big compulsion) etc. In order to not drive myself crazy I decided to stop reading about Asperger's and I took a long break from this forum. The fact that I started studying at university helped a lot by keeping me incredibly busy (though it has also contributed to a lot of terrible anxiety).

Anyway, now that the assessment has finally started I've begun to think about Asperger's again and I must say I'm worried (I'm great at worrying about things). I'm worried that the fact that I read up on Asperger's so much 1.5 years ago might somehow affect the outcome of the assessment. What if I've read too much about it, "picked up" traits and now think I've got problems that I actually don't have? What if I'm imagining all my problems? What if I'll exaggerate things? I'd never do any of these things on purpose and I really want the result of the assessment to be as correct as possible. I don't even know if I "want" the diagnosis. If I were to get it I don't know how I'd react or deal with it.

What do you think about all of this? I've been thinking about maybe telling the psychologist about it. Somehow I think it'd make me feel a bit better if I knew she was aware of the things I worry about. Is that a good idea?

Trust the psychologist's experience. Trust the assessment process.

Honestly what is the psychologist going to say? they are trained to read inventories and checklists, Your OCD is what is causing obsession with Aspergers. she is looking at other traits that you have had historically as well as other records plus how you present in the clinic.

I'm not expecting her to say anything. I just thought it might be good to tell her instead of sitting there worried every time I'm there.

But yeah, maybe it was a stupid question.

This is exactly how I feel.

I recently started investigating the possibility that I have Asperger's, but currently I'm undiagnosed. For the past couple months I've been reading quite a bit about it and I think I have several of the symptoms, but I'm afraid it's only because I'm looking for them.

I doubt we're the only ones who have felt this way, so the psychologist has probably heard it before (assuming she's experienced). I think it would be best to be completely honest with her to get the most accurate diagnosis.

Yes, tell her about your obsession and your worries.
The man, who gave me the first informal dx, told me to take care not to pick up things on foras.....but I think, that if you "pick up" things/habits, - it is only because they are there in the first place. You don´t start exhibiting traits, that are alien to you. You just might intensify those, that are already there during the process of becoming aware - and it will find its normal balance later.

OCD is one of the 'potential' co-morbities of Asperger's Syndrome

My guess is to start with AS and then add OCD to the list

We don't notice things we have no reason to notice. I thought I picked up flapping my arms from reading, until my husband mentioned my daughter doing it, then that I had when I met him. I still worry I made it up somehow, it's not real. But the reality? I did not even see my child doing it until I had the information, much less myself. And I don't want to be doing it, so it gives me an out that says I'm pretending. Doesn't make it so.

Let the psychologist do her job. Don't give her a reason to doubt you. If you need to talk about it, tell her you doubt yourself, and skip the reasons, they don't much help. Let her respond to your confusion, give up control---the diagnosis is for her to make and you'll both be more comfortable if you acknowledge that.

I second a previous poster who said don't tell her and give her a reason to doubt you. I just finished reading the first chapter of The Complete Guide to Aspergers and it says OCD is often either a co-existing condition to AS or an early diagnosis that turns out to be something more, namely AS. So the fact you are obsessing about this, in addition to being your OCD, could be a sign of AS. Maybe AS became a "special interest" for you for a while there?

I too have made a list of things I think were signs and symptoms from my childhood and earlier life but mainly because I feel like I am getting old person's brain and I don't know if the assessor is going to ask me for those sorts of things. I know I won't be able to recall on the spot!

Of course the answer is to tell the psychologist about as much as you can. Including your worry about this. They are a trained professional, they'll have seen people do this very thing before, and the fact that you've noted it and are worried about it probably means that you aren't, in fact, randomly picking up traits. But even if you are, that you've noticed it, that also probably means something.
Or maybe it all means nothing! That's why you're seeing someone afterall though, let them figure it all out :-p

Yeah, just be absolutely honest about everything and let the professional sort it all out.

If you have any childhood report cards or reports, assessments, letters about you or a parent or sibling to talk about your childhood that would be helpful too.

I just want to add that even for completely unrelated issues, in my experience the simple fact that I ask myself the question "Should I speak about that with my psychologist?" is an almost 100% accurate sign that it is indeed a question I should discuss with my psychologist. The most interesting and effective therapy sessions I have done almost always started from something I was uncertain I should tell my psychologist about in the first time.

AS assessment is not the same but I think the same rule holds. If your psychologist is good you will want to be perfectly honest and as open as you can with him/her. If he/she's not good, her diagnosis is worthless anyway.

Thanks for the replies. I've personally always preferred being honest about things. I don't really get why the psychologist would start to doubt me if I told her about the things that worry me. What is there to doubt? She's coming into this open-minded. She's not there to prove that I've got Asperger's. I mean, I might not have it. She's there to figure out whether or not I've got it and, even if I don't have it, to help me create some sort of overview of my problems so that we can figure out why I function the way I do. My anxiety is a big part of my life and somehow I think it would be a bit weird to keep that from her. I'm not sure how to go about this though.

Yeah, the psychologist has already told me she intends to talk to my parents and perhaps some teachers I had when I was really young. She's also going to have a look at my file/journal (or whatever it's called in English) from when I was a toddler to have a look at when I started to talk and when I started to walk etc. All those things.



Thanks for this.

I wouldn't trust a psychologist who believes ADHD exists, having firgotten to research normal people. Seriously, you have to admit you can't know what's weird if you don't know what's normal. Do as you feel. It can never go wrong.