Proud

Post Reply New Topic

Hey

The concept/emotion of 'proud' has come up a bit in my life lately (other people experiencing it). I would really appreciate it if anyone can explain what 'proud' is and how it works?

Thanks

For me, pride is a very diverse concept. There is the distinction between being proud of yourself, and being proud of others. When I'm proud of myself, it usually means that I have done or achieved something which I feel has been very important, either for my own growth as a person, or for the benefit of other people.
When I'm proud of someone else, it's usually when that person is in some way connected to me, be it through family relation, friends, co-workers, etc. etc., who are usually in a position of lesser experience, and who either with or without my assistance or tutelage have achieved something special. For instance, I'm proud that my niece is doing great as a majorette dancer. But it can also be something that has more to do with personal, emotional growth than with tangible achievements, when a relative or an acquaintance is struggling with some problems, like for example severe health problems or addiction, and they overcome it- then I will also feel proud.

But the word pride can also have a negative connotation. I have at times been 'too proud', which resulted in arrogance, and which blinded me to some pot-holes on my road, and it led to me having some problems. So that's where too much pride can be a negative thing.

Finally, one can also feel pride for one's culture, or country, or even any demographic that one is part of, up to and including mental disorders like autism. But for me, that has more to do with being thankful for the collective achievements of people in those demographics that I belong to, and the strength I draw from my peers when they are facing some problems that are similar to mine, and overcome them. I can't be blindly proud just for being so-and-so or this-and-that. For me, there needs to be some sort of achievement beforehand.

Thanks, this is starting to make a lot more sense.

Is pride of self and others is always to do with personal growth?

I dont quite understand how someone can be proud of a group they belong to as in final paragraph, it makes some sense that would be related to achievements if pride is in emotion relating to growing as a person, however I dont understand how a groups achievements would relate to an individuals sense of growth?

Pride has different kinds of meanings like love. I love my dad. I love pizza. I love it when that happens. Same word, but different meanings.

Being proud of a group you belong to is also a personal achievement for "social people" (though that term does not exactly apply here in my honest opinion because their behaviour is less social than they pretend it to be as they seem to act excluding in favour of the group).

Imagine it this way:
They favour a certain group and consider it cool.
By belonging to the group, they would be cool themselves. That is their way of seeing personal growth, it is personal growth in the social heirarchy (they "level up").
Actually, it can be described with the following situation:
An aspie is waiting for the positive diagnosis to become part of the "Aspie-group" and once getting it, is all proud of belonging to the group (but not exactly proud of the diagnosis itself! The diagnosis was only the key to open the door to the group, a tool).
The "Aspie-group" here is the "cool-people-group". By belonging to it, the aspie gets a clear identity, comparable to the social person becoming a cool person by belonging to the "cool-people-group", for both it is their own way of this "personal growth".

Being proud of something does not necessarily require personal growth (or growth in skill), but it is very often linked to it. It can as well come from pure satisfaction by doing/finishing something that took you a long time or of which you didn't know you were able to to it, e.g. if you didn't draw in a long time, know you have the skill, but try some simple drawing first which you succeed in, then you can be proud of being still able to draw. It is not linked to any improvement or "mental growth" here, but merely to the knowledge of being able to do something and the resulting satisfaction and relief.
Of course, that example is still vague and one might argue that finishing anything contributes to growing, but that's not really the topic here, is it?

If you wonder how one can be proud of someone else, it's pretty much the same as being ashamed of someone else. Very often it is linked to people you know very well and value (for example your own child or a dear friend or significant other) but sometimes you can also be proud of complete strangers or a group, e.g. feeling proud of someone who created a cure for *X* or feeling proud of humanity because some people did something (again, this here is, as I noted before, a group one belongs to). Feeling proud of a group could be linked to empathy, I believe some people transfer the achievements of others onto themselves in a way (emotionally maybe because they "take their role"?).

I hope that cleared up some questions.

Proud of a group you belong to--

I am a lesbian. I am proud that we have achieved more acceptance in American society. I am proud that there are stable successful well-known gay people who can serve as role models for young LGBT people. Thirty years ago things were a LOT different. These things have been achieved by the hard work of many individuals, many of whom will never be known. Average folks have come out to their families and friends at great personal risk. We have stood up for ourselves and demanded to be respected as human beings and refused to tolerate abuse. These are reasons I am proud of the gay community. Now there are also things I wish were different and there are still people in the community whose behavior embarrasses me and which others bring up to disparage us-- in other words, things aren't perfect, but we still have a lot to be proud of.