Dealing with confrontations?

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I have always struggled to deal with unreasonable people or confrontations. If someone insults me or acts mean towards me, I always try to reason with them. I always have to defend myself in a logical manner. But it doesn't work. I don't understand how to deal with hostile situations like that. People like that aren't thinking about anything but themselves and their own gratification, right? It's a dilemma I haven't really learned how to cope with.

This is something that gets better with time and learning.
Assertiveness courses or books is a good place to start.
On top of that you would want to learn about the 'games people play' to get a better understanding of what is going on.
And lastly more social learning skills. There are lots of books written to aid people with AS or on the spectrum with communication.

Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships by Berne, Eric ( a bit of a tough read though)
Life's Too F Short Janet Street-Porter
and
Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes, Duke Robinson (this book goes into how to respond when criticized or attacked by people).

There are lots of Aspie books out there too, so I will let you find what you think is most suitable, I know you probably did not want or expect a reading list but thats the best way I can think of to help you!

I'm horrible in confrontational situations, because of my autistic processing problems. I'm certainly not stupid and I may have a much better and more cogent argument to make than the other person, but I cannot think fast enough on my feet to get it out coherently. My mind sputters and chokes and then flatlines and I simply cannot process the other person's hostility and remember what it is I'm trying to say.

That's precisely my problem as well: I can't "think on my feet."

It requires some multitasking: listening to the conversation you are taking part in and thinking about an appropriate answer. It can be difficult. To me, it's similar to learning languages: takes a lot of practice. By all means: strike back, put up the fight. You don't have to be arrogant, just make sure you did your part. Offer positive things on the surface (literal meaning), and say things that have the 'push back the Lion in it's cave' effect. Some bold attitude is welcome on your side, otherwise it can be very tough to manage. Some people just can't be handled otherwise. Although in my experience they are only the minority, they don't understand other language. You can also think of it as puppies playing in a garden (as someone suggested here on WP).

I can definitely relate to what others have mentioned above.
I loathe confrontations because I just cannot think on my feet
fast enough to keep pace in a typical argument.
Usually it's not until a little later that I replay the movie
of the whole argument over again in my head and then--bam--all
the right ways of saying my argument come to mind!
It's very frustrating, and I think I avoid conflict to a fault most
of the time because of this.
I'll have to look into those books you mentioned, Onoma, for
some advise.

In a perfect world, I wish we never had to worry about such things.
The way neurotypically minded people argue so fiercely over some
things and expend so much energy doing it...it just seems so pointless
when things could probably be sorted out much more effectively and
healthily by sitting down and calmly explaining opposing point of views,
giving each person plenty of time to collect his/her thoughts and express
them cogently.
Alas.

The one word response to hostile people: stare at their nose, (if you can't stare them down in the eyes) and say: "OUCH". Then walk away. That communicates a very strong message that their behaviour is unacceptable and that you see right through it and won't put up with it.

If you make no response, or alternatively try to reason with them, they think they have won. They are bullies, and bullies want a pay-off for their hostile behaviors. The one word response deprives them of that pay-off.

I normally just say "WOW" and if I can just walk away. Once I have had time to think things through I will go back and talk to them. Usually by this time they are less difficult, and sometimes they don't even remember what they were mad about.

I normally just say "WOW" and if I can just walk away. Once I have had time to think things through I will go back and talk to them. Usually by this time they are less difficult, and sometimes they don't even remember what they were mad about.

I have to be 'pushed' a bit before getting set off/confronted. As in blatant aggression/bitchiness for a while (IRL)

I have lived most of my life in avoidance of confrontation.

I'm no good at it, it is not really in my nature to be confrontational.

However, I do enjoy watching other people be confrontational with each other.

It is one of my guilty pleasures.

I'm good at avoiding confrontation. When people confront me I usually try to leave the situation or ignore them. If I can't escape the situation I will scream and swear at them.