I've never been able to complete anything. What is this?

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I have had a problem with failing all my life. I can never complete anything, and because of this have never felt successful. It often feels like I'm wasting time. These issues have resulted in me leaving jobs early in my career. In the past when I've worked freelancing I've failed customers projects. I failed to complete University. I've rarely completed a personal project at home. It's a challenge to complete a book. It's a challenge to learn anything new, even in areas of interest because of this. It seems everything I do I will fail at.

Let me give an example. Currently I'm programming a personal project. The project is a file sharing website. I've been working on it for about a week. It took me a day or 2 to actually plan it and draft a quick business model. And the rest of the days I've been programming. Everything is going well, but as time moves on and I get deeper into the project I will slowly start losing interest.

At the beginning of the project I'm hyper focused and excited, but mid way though I lose interest completely. It's like something in my head says "It's ok to fail this project, you can start a new one if it no longer interests you". Or, I'll get excited about something else such as, like a new book to read, a new project idea, a new xbox game etc. Then the project halts and never gains momentum again.

And it's pretty much like this in everything I do. It's like I can never complete anything. If I'm mid way through a book, I'll lose interest in reading it, even if it's an awesome book and then be excited by something else. And the cycle starts over.

For years this was a cause of depression for me. I could never understand why I keep failing at everything and what is wrong with me. It's not that I'm not capable of doing what it is I'm doing, it's just a total lack of interest. I've probably failed numerous projects that could have been financially successful, but I'm not driven my money. I'm not really driven by anything. And I don't understand why.

Does anyone know if there's a name for this? I would love to learn more about what causes this and how to get around it.

I have struggled with this my entire life and totally feel your pain. I get in these modes where all these tasks would whirl around in my head and it was impossible to initiate one, until I finally try to escape on YouTube or some other waste of time.

I did some research on it once and feel it may be, at least in part, to Executive Dysfunction. I have recently had had tremendous success with my issue by changing my eating habits pretty severely (I'm now a gluten free lacto-ovo vegetarian and avoid proceesed foods). Now I'm actually getting stuff done on a daily basis, although I'm still decades behind the power curve. Better late then never though, right?

It feels a little relieving to know that I'm not the only one that has struggled with this. Interesting you mention about the eating habits, mine are pretty poor. I wonder if a change in eating could have a positive mental benefit for me. I'll have to give it a try at least. There was a point when I was vegan for a 2 months, but really struggled with no meat and it was hard to find foods to cook. I'm not sure if I noticed a change back then as it was a wile ago.

Will have a research on Executive Dysfunction now.

dad is exactly the same and he is an aspie.
anything he starts never gets finished,mum is fed up with him and always wants to get in profesional people to finish things off as she woud be waiting years for it but he doesnt like spending money either.

Do you mean with decorating and DIY? I have an issue with DIY where I'll start to decorate a room and 12 months later it's still not complete. I done the same with my bedroom verymrecently and had to pay someone to finish it. I just couldn't complete it. I had all the tools, and materials, and lots of free time but I couldn't get it done.

I know it too and it has been a plague. It has destroyed a lot for me too. It eats away the self confidence.
Even Mozart knew it! He just didn´t suffer from low self confidence.

The only way, I know, is to "start over" again, set small goals and keep a success diary. Keep feeding yourself with: "I can do it".
Larger goals have to be broken down in small parts. I keep lists and even the tiniest project, that is actually finished is marked with a little self-praise.
My resilience gets a little stronger each time.

A psychologist once told me, that I was too dependant on the exitement being there to drive me.
You´re doing exactly the same:
"I'll get excited about something else such as, like a new book to read, a new project idea, a new xbox game etc. Then the project halts and never gains momentum again".

Apart from having to do with a weaker executive functioning, it is also a program, so it can be changed to the better.

Listen to these two guys:
http://www.aspergerexperts2.com/video-3 ... uarein1277

I suffer from this too.

Actually it's weird that this thread should appear now - as I've been getting really depressed about exactly this subject for the last couple of days.

Well maybe we can help each other and share some tips. Sadly though I don't know how to deal with this at the moment. I am fighting my mind with this project right now and I just know that by the end of today it'll be another dead project.

I have been really depressed for a long time over this. It feels like I and my brain are two separate entities and I'm telling my brain to continue but it's saying no.

This rings all too much of a bell for me.

My personal projects die off as well after an initial "high". Oddly I never have this problem at work.

What works for me is to not start big projects but to help out with projects (I'm a programmer, so there are lots of open source projects to help out with), picking up smaller tasks that can be completed in a short amount of time (few days to a week). Being part of a community and doing something that others appreciate is a tremendous motivator.

I wonder if part of this problem has to do with the fun part being the initial thinking and the middle part of work being simply boring without the "reward" - being able to show off your work - being too far away to be a sufficient motivation.

Another thing that usually kills productivity for me is to have overly broad vague goals. Once a problem becomes too big/vague to keep in my head my brains usually just give up and start looking for different things to think about.

I have always had to deal with this.

What helped me was to learn that my issue is a typical trait of a Myers-Briggs INTJ personality type. Once a project is "completed" in my head, I lose interest; unfortunately this is too often short of it being actually completed.

Just knowing this is a big help to me in avoiding it. Another thing is to hand off the project to someone else for completion, or set some kind of challenge for myself during the completion phase in order to keep my interest up. I bet some internet research might yield additional ideas.

Even Leonardo da Vinci was notorious for abandoning project onces, in his mind, they were completed. He has some famous quote about ( rough paraphrase): To envision and give form to a work can be genius; but to then complete it is unskilled labor.

I just wanted to mention that while I have seen a significant improvement in my executive function since changing my eating, I don't feel going meatless was the key. Cutting out refined carbs, artificial sweeteners, processed foods, gluten, and limited dairy; that is where I think the difference was made. I got really sick and haven't been able to tolerate meat since; that is why I became a vegetarian; it was not related to autism (see my MRSA post).

I have no great answers.

Some things I stick with. Most I do not.

The common factor with things I see to the end is that they are simple, finite projects. The larger the project, the more of a need to break it down into smaller, more manageable, segments. Some ideas never get started because the "planning" stage is so involved I run out of steam before I really get started.

I think with Aspies, we're on or off. If we don't hyper-focus on something, we lose interest and may never get back to it. So few things get us hyper-focused that we need tools to stay on project.

Is there any medication that can help with this?

Food can be as or even more effective than medicine. I'd pursue medication only if a change in diet, maybe combined with psychotherapy, was not effective.

At least you could START something LOL

Have you ever thought about finishing something as a "means to an end?"

I can't find the article, but I once read that in the brains of people with attention problems, the reward neurotransmitters drop off sharply after a task is started, whereas in neurotypical people the reward comes upon completion of the task. It's a part of ADHD. There's also some impulsivity in starting a new task before finishing the old one; poor impulse control is also part of ADHD. Don't know if you've ever tried medication for that, but it might be a help to you.

I do get exciting ideas for new projects while in the middle of working on things, but I use it to motivate me to do the job. "Boy, that will be so interesting and fun! And I can start that as soon as I finish this thing I'm working on. Better buckle down and get it done!"