Please respond. I need to feel that you guys are here.

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I there is so much noise today. I feel like I am completely losing it, like I can barely hold on.

I guess it's not much more than any other morning. but my energy level is a little lower today I think. My husband has a new project that he is really into and his enthusiasm about it is wonderful but it is also very overstimulating for me. But today every little noise outside seems magnified and it is really really getting to me.

Sometimes when I am this on edge and overstimulated I find that speech is an effort. I want to talk but it's difficult because it feels like it's strenuous. I am quickly irritated because I am so on edge right now.

Does anyone understand how this works? What I mean is why when I am feeling like this is speech in particular so difficult? Some other cognitive type things feel like a great effort as well but speech is really hard. One of my favorite songs just came on my Grooveshark list which I have been playing to try to balance the outside sounds. The song is I See Fire from the Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug. As soon as it came on I immediately started rocking. It was an almost involuntary rocking. But it's so incredibly soothing. I feel like I just want to be in a cocoon and rock to this song. I am really having a hard time right now.

If you're overstimulated, want to be in a cocoon and rock to that song, find a blanket, make a cocoon, and rock to that song.

Sometimes days are harder to process than others. And its not worth trying to force yourself through and eat up spoons unnecessarily when just stopping and rocking lets us not use spoons when we don't need to. Make yourself feel better. It's worth it. Who cares if its autistic behavior. We ARE autistic. Its not something to be ashamed of. Do what helps.

Sorry you are feeling rough today. That's a really good idea trying to counteract the bad noises with noise/music that you enjoy. I do that at work (thankfully i am allowed to put my earphones in and listen to music) if it is too noisy I put on some mellow music so I can concentrate on my work.

Hi Skibum,

What is your husband working on:?

I'm not a lover of loud noises, either--especially noises which are high-pitched, like bad chalk on a blackboard. If it gets really bad, I get violent impulses--like I want to punch the wall.

Back in the 1970s, car alarms used to drive me absolutely batty.

Of course you have earphones! Maybe you could listen to some Verdi. That's very calming music.

Maybe it's hard to speak because stress makes it harder to communicate. It might be that you feel (subconciously) that if you try to speak, noone will understand you anyway, so it's better not to even try. In other words, maybe you're afraid of being misinterpretaded if you try to speak, and therefore avoid it since that would cause even more frustration.

I also agree with previous posters in that you should do exacly what feels best in terms of soothing yourself.

Thank you so much guys. Thank you for being here for me. Right now I am rocking to the Poppy Girl's version of The Call from Narnia. I love that song.

Kraftie, remember the email I sent you about last weekend? One of the places we went to was a Maker Faire. So we got some things that we needed to get our 3D printers working again and he is overjoyed with that. We have two little printers and he is very excited that we are up and printing again. He is like an excited puppy. I am excited too but that level of excitement is too much for me to handle. And that with the other exciting stresses and other difficult stresses has added up to where I am completely overwhelmed.

How are you feeling now?

I'm glad you acknowledge your husband's enthusiasm, despite the pain it had (hopefully had) caused you.

I'm starting to calm down from the rocking. And reading the responses helps a lot as well. I am glad that I can type here because I am still feeling like it would be too much of an effort to be verbal. It is so helpful to have people who understand what this is like and who can relate. I might try to eat and drink a bit too. And now that the rain has let up for a little bit and the sun is out I will probably go outside since that always makes me feel good. I love the rain and thunderstorms too but I usually stay inside for those. I love walking in the rain but I don't have the proper attire to handle the massive rain we have had the past two days.

It's probably beginning to be sunny where you are. We've had drizzle, at the most, in NYC, since 6 in the morning.

I'd take the walk if I were you. It will clear you head.

You could glory in the quick and prompt response of the members here

Aaaa! I do that too, to that song, and I don't normally display stimming behaviours.

I find the ambient sound recordings of rain, streams, thunderstorms and surf can be better than music when I need to completely withdraw for a while.

I like those sounds in "real time"--I'm adamant about that

After 5 inches of rain in NYC, I believe it's time for May Flowers.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 01 May 2014, 10:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's really helping me to read your responses. Thank you. There is nothing like when other people actually get it when you are having Spectrum related issues.

Hi SkiBum, I'm glad you are finding a way to get through the day. When I have my freak-out days, I shut myself away and wait for the next day to arrive. Usually, the next day is a lot better.

I am lucky enough to live alone, so I don't have to make any allowances for others. You are lucky enough to be in a partnership - what happens on days like today? Does your husband fuss and fret, or does he just leave you alone?

I just had a look in my 'Idiot's Guide To The Human Brain' (joke...), and I reckon that the inability to speak properly is probably caused by the fact that today you just don't have the strength to communicate.

When I was in a partnership, we had a standing joke that I should have been born a CaveMan. When I needed to be alone, my wife used to tell me to go hide in my cave.

Have you considered an "escape pod"? Noise canceling headphones, or one of those cozy study rooms many public libraries have? A book at a quiet park. Sometimes it's good to get away, and if your husband supports your needs, I'm sure he'd understand.

LOL!!
My husband is great. He really tries to leave me alone when I need it. The only problem is that we are complete opposites. That saying that opposites attract is really true with us. He needs to talk a lot and he gets his strength and energy by being with people and having them completely engaged with him. I am the complete opposite of that. When he is at work I try to keep my environment as quiet as possible because when he is away from me he really misses me so when he comes home he wants me there with him and since his voice is naturally louder it can get to be a little much for me. He will try to let me rest if I ask and I do but it's hard for him because he loves being with me so much. It kind of reminds me of dolphins.

Sometimes wild dolphins meet people at the seaside and the people will play with them. The dolphins love that and can easily get attached to the people and they don't realize that we can't live in the water like they can. So they just want you to stay and play with them and they don't let you out of the water. People have actually drowned like that.

Of course it's not that bad for me but sometimes he does not actually realize how tired I am just from conversation and even if I tell him it's hard for him to understand. But he really tries to accommodate me and I do my best to be there for him so it's challenging but we really love each other so we do our best to help each other.