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Moostar
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 12 Apr 2014
Age: 29
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27 Apr 2014, 1:09 am

How do I be confident with my communication. I did a topic based around how I communicate a few weeks ago, and I got a response saying that it could had to do with low confidence. I have a hard time maintain confidence because My skill to talk to others is awful in the real world unlike online where I can correct my mistakes. Out of all of the things to ruin my self esteem, Talking to other people is the worst. I grow so tired of not commutation effectively. having to repeat myself because no one understood what I say. It kills me on the inside. :(



IamRob
Velociraptor
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Joined: 6 Apr 2014
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27 Apr 2014, 6:28 pm

This is a little advice someone on this site gave me (thanks klausnrooster hope you dont mind me quoting it.

" I really think what matters most is persistence. To be persistent you have to be kind to yourself, accept that you can't force changes, but resolve to not give in to hopelessness"

Its a litle out of context and Not sure its totaly relevant.
it can be a vicious circle,like in your case.maybe keeping things simple can help.like he said,be persistent.the more you try the easier it can be(i know not easy)in turn raising comfort and confidence.
I hope someone else can chime in on this,i realy wanted to help but thats all i got so far.



ouroborosUK
Toucan
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27 Apr 2014, 6:41 pm

Define your goals. What are you trying to achieve, to obtain or maybe to give by communicating with other people?

This is a real question. You may want to exchange informations. You may want to share emotions. You may want to be recognized. They are different goals that require different skills.

Define your own goals in communication with other people and try to achieve them. If you have failure, rationally assess why it did not go well and try to improve those points. If you have success, be proud :) You are the person who should determine what "successful communication" is for you. Give yourself realistic and satisfying goals and pursue them. Anyway that would be my advice. Good luck :)


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ouroboros

A bit obsessed with vocabulary, semantics and using the right words. Sorry if it is a concern. It's the way I think, I am not hair-splitting or attacking you.


Eccles_the_Mighty
Veteran
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28 Apr 2014, 8:26 am

Practice, practice, practice.

The BBC Horizon documentary that some of us have seen had an autistic woman on there who gives lectures. She was OK facing crowds in a crowded lecture hall because a) she knew her subject inside and out and b) she did it on a regular basis. If you have to talk in front of some people once every couple of years you're going to be nervous but if you do it twice a week then you'll be an expert in no time.

Pro tip, make them laugh. There was a UK comedian called Les Dawson who had a very dry sense of humor. He always started off his act with the same routine, three amazing facts:

"The first American satellite, Explorer 1, weighed 31 pounds.

If the tracks on a typical CD were in a straight line they would stretch for about three miles

The world's largest rodent is the capybara

None of these amazing facts have anything to do with what I'm going to talk about today, but it's surprising how your mind wanders when you're nervous" :lol: :lol: :lol:


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Eccles