I tend to be an open book at times and I'm not sure how I do it. I also have so much trouble being part of a conversation between a group of people. I may think I'm keeping pace with a conversation but I have to keep my mind on the subject. Then I have to stay focused and it slows down my thinking. And that's just when someone starts talking to me. If you've seen some of my other posts you know how I feel about NTs, but I was thinking a lot today about how we are people and all we need to communicate. I figured out what the problem is. It's easy to talk to someone when they start talking to you so you didn't have to think of something reasonable to say. I'm not shy, I'll talk to a stranger. Most of my NT friends know that and they won't think 'what's up with this guy' if I seem to not be acting NT at some point.
I'm not too good at small talk either so what I did when I used to hang around them at the bar was I would just say hi and tell them my name and they would pretty much think 'uh.. so?' Everyone knows if you want to talk to someone there must have been a reason. I didn't even realize until a few years ago that the first thing that comes out of most people's mouth isn't their name. How good of a reason am I supposed to have? I don't match a lot of people's humor. A couple of times my friends have stuck me with some girl to talk to and I really don't get nervous until she doesn't respond to anything. It would only take a minute for her to walk away. And I could go and try to be silly that doesn't even go well with my good friends. I have an untraditional sense of humor. I once was walking out of the bar for a smoke and a guy who stopped talking to someone else was looking at me so I asked him if he ever saw the Russian version of Winnie The Pooh. Nothing I say makes any sense so I second guess myself, like when I changed the title of this post but that is my sense of humor and it's funny to me, Or maybe I'm more random than anyone can handle,
I have no idea.
I can't even gracefully slide into a circle of people unless there's only one or two people who I don't know.
It seems to take a while to get the hang whatever is going on. When I do have something worthy to say it's all I can do to recognize when it's my turn to talk. If I wait too long to decide it's my turn the subject changes or the crowd will move and it's over. I have talked before when I was sure no one was about to say something and then someone talks over me right on cue as if the first letters of our sentences were simultaneous. I've been pretty sure I was being heard but ignored because someone wasn't finished talking. It seems to only work for me when I talk to one to three maybe four people at a time. I don't get how people know when to talk and be absolutely in sync with the others. I'm sure a lot of people have experienced this. Does it piss you off because it really gets on my nerves so much. There is nothing I can't stand more than the people who know me wanting me to get acquainted by myself and then becoming a trainwreck all night.
I kind of want to see them again but it'll be the same game. They do like me to have around but I just never have fun really. It's such a pain. I'll have to do it though because it's not good to be a hermit.
What are some of your more successful social ventures?
04 May 2014, 9:05 pm
