Mother hens

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I keep reading that when aspies make friends as kids they're usually mother hen types. I remember that happening to me when I was a kid. I enjoyed having friends, but I hated being mothered. That caused me to fear intimacy. Is there any way I can make friends without being mothered?

oh yeah my friend is def a mother hen type. him and my cousin. great in one sense cause i do need assistance and he's plenty happy to give it. but hate him fussing over me too. '"are you too hot, too cold, are you thirsty?" etc. sweet wonderful and sometimes annoying.

I decided to go out with a local youth group and we had dinner at Applebees. The lady next to me was a professional something-or-other at a museum. She'd never met me before (I guess I look clueless? ) and kept asking me if I got what I needed, if I wanted something to drink, and did I need a to-go box for that? The waitress came around and I was just about to call her attention but the museum-lady hailed her first and said, "She will need a to-go box, please."

I was like "I'm 29! I can ask for a styrofoam box!!" (Not out loud, of course.)

So yes, I seem to attract mother hens.

I haven't ever had a mother hen like that. My only friend is definitely not one and I've known her for years. I have had people I don't know so well treat me like that sometimes, including some cousins, but I've never had a friend be that way. I'm not sure why.

my friends have almost always been 'mother-hen' types, now that i think about it. i think i attract those types of people because of how small and young i look. i'm not sure i really like that fact, but they are really great at helping out without you asking, so that is a plus and minus...also they are good at helping include you socially, which although i don't always like, is probably always needed. i'm not sure how you can avoid these types of people, since they kind of seek you out without you doing anything.

sorry, i went out for the first time in a week, so my brain is really overloaded, i'm not sure if this makes good sense.

I can't stand those types. I avoid them. Probably the main reason I get along with my mom so well is because she never tried to fuss over me that way.

The only friends I've ever had were mother hen types. In high school I had a friend who lived in my neighborhood. She was in a grade lower than me but sometimes when she went on a date, she would fix me up with a guy and we would double date. I'm glad she was my friend.

I appreciate a certain amount of that, but if I say stop then the person needs to respect my boundaries. Most of the time, in my experience, they don't.

I actually think that the game includes that part for some "mother hens," who can be men too, just to be clear. They enjoy the part where the object of their attention gets sick of their relentless pestering and rages at them. Then they get to feel unjustly hurt and accused while milking the guilt for all they can.

On the other hand, people need to learn to say "no," and I can hardly think of a safer person on whom to practice than one of the "mother hens" I've known. I had trouble learning to say no when surprised, but some experiences with those folks forced me to get more comfortable with saying it, and more adept at saying it with a little grace.

I AM a mother hen type lol. And an aspie.

Mother hen type girls are attracted to me sometimes.

Find some friends with people with more severe issues and then perhaps you get to be the mother hen, of course that creates another whole set of issues. I have seen both sides, I don't like being fussed over, then again I don't like babysitting either.

I've never heard of that one but I don't recall that happening to me.

My best friend is somewhat of a mother-hen type. A reluctant one, but one nonetheless. He's a very social and outgoing person, and he cares deeply about other people. He sometimes wonders why we're such good friends due to our opposing personalities, but I think that we're good friends because of our opposing personalities. I don't usually get along well with people who have similar personalities to myself.

That's the thing. I worked as a personal care attendant for people with more severe issues, and the training emphasized not fussing over people and anticipating their every need, but waiting until they asked for help. That kind of mothering can inhibit a person's development. I've seen it, and I've seen people bloom when they get into a situation where people expect them to assert themselves and act on their own. Mind you, some mothers will do everything they can to prevent those changes from becoming permanent.