I wish I could mute the world.

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I feel miserable right now so this is a bit of a rant (and a couple of questions in the end). A rant about how much I dislike noises and other external stimuli on days like this (sorry). I guess I just want people to read this and understand. I hope someone will understand because people around me (people I meet "in real life") don't seem to be half as sensitive to these things as I am.

I just got home from university. My morning started out pretty well. I went to university two hours before my 10am lecture to study a bit. Sat by myself at my favourite table, listened to music (one song on repeat as always) and studied medical bacteriology. The 10am lecture went okay though I noticed I had a hard time concentrating on what the professor was saying. He talked really quickly and I found it difficult to take notes.

After lunch I had another lecture and that was absolutely horrible for me. I sat at my usual spot (I always sit at the same place in the lecture hall/classroom) and two people sat beside me (one on each side). I don't know why I reacted the way I did today but all the things happening around me made me overwhelmed and overloaded. The people who sat beside me accidentally touched my arms and every time they did I wanted to scream but I didn't. Instead I swore loudly in my head. Someone's hair smelled of shampoo (it must've been newly washed because the hair smelled damp and wet as well as smelling like shampoo), someone ate a banana so it smelled like banana in the room too. People made loads of noises. They whispered, laughed "quietly", opened and closed the lids of their pens, coughed etc. The person to the left of me (a friend/acquaintance/classmate, I never know how to define friendships) turned her head and looked at me from time to time and it made me so annoyed I wanted to just push her away. I didn't. Also, the fan made noises and people kept moving in their seats and that made noises too. I got anxious or something (I'm not sure what I felt) and I grew more and more anxious for each minute that passed. I eventually ended up "zoning out" and staring into the wall (I was aware of it though so I tried to look as if I was listening to the lecture since I was sitting in the front row).

In order for me to even stay until the lecture was over I had to listen to a song on repeat (during the 15 minute break), close my eyes and not talk to anyone (sounds that I can control myself are ok). I was so tired because of all the stimuli and I was really anxious and/or agitated, angry and depressed. All because of the noises and people touching me etc. I could barely focus on what the professor was saying. He talked for two hours and I'm not really sure what he talked about because I couldn't concentrate properly. I kept bouncing my leg up and down while trying not to freak out.

I got home a few minutes ago and all I want to do is to stay here for the rest of the day (it's a bit after 4pm here right now), not talk to anyone, watch TV-series or read a book and eat things that are not good for me. I can't though. I need to go have dinner at my boyfriend's. I really don't want to but I have to make some compromises because I know he thinks it's tough that I'm often too tired to hang out with him.

Why did this happen to me today? It happens quite regularly (though not always and when it happens it's not always at university). Is it "normal"? Is it an AS thing?

I wish I could mute the world.

Last edited by rebbieh on 25 Apr 2014, 9:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

I definitely experience a lot of what you're talking about. Especially if I am already stressed out/on edge about something, and then the sensory stimuli keep coming, it will lead me to melt down if I can't remove myself and diffuse somehow.

This sounds like the typical "sensory overload" found in people with ASDs. I'm sorry you feel the way you do.

Have you ever spoken to SkiBum? She has experienced situations similar to yours. She feels pain when she experiences certain sounds.

Do you want to become a doctor?

Yes, it's sensory overload, the bane of my existence. Especially when there's a completely empty room except for me, and people come and sit next to me.

If you look beneath my signature you'll see my favourite book, Too Loud etc., and if you click on it you can have a look - it has lots of solutions to these problems. I am not affiliated with the author or Amazon, just trying to share a helpful book.

i also greatly dislike noise. someday i want to have my hearing taken out and donate it to a deaf person that wants to hear. (if that is even possible)

I'm studying biomedicine so I won't become a doctor but I study a lot of medicine and human biology etc. The plan is to eventually get a PhD and do medical research.



I suspected it was sensory overload. Question: what's the difference between sensory overload for someone on the spectrum and for a "normal" person? I mean, some neurotypicals (or whatever it's called) probably get tired when it's noisy as well.

Also, thanks for the book suggestion. I'll check it out!

30 decibel reduction ear plugs + 30 decibel reduction muffs = something close to a mute switch.

I've had days like that as well, though it was a much more frequent thing for me back when I was living at my father's place and I had to deal with all of the noise my stepmother and stepsiblings would make. I wouldn't ever want to give up my hearing permanently though, as I love music way too much and I would go insane if I wasn't able to listen to it.

I want to close my ears like I close my eyes.

I do not know the situation in Sweden but once your assessment is over and if you get diagnosed you should be able to get accommodations.

I've never been a "normal" person, so I'll have to guess. It seems to me that if everybody heard what I hear, they'd put a stop to it. Think of the perverse logic of playing loud music to entice people into a store! It's enough to send me stampeding the other way.

Do you have a low pain threshold? I do and I think it goes along with the extra sensitivity for touch.

I wouldn't ever want to give up my hearing permanently either. I just wish I wouldn't be so sensitive to sounds when I don't want to be.



I don't know. Mostly because I don't know what's considered a low pain threshold. Anyway, I don't know if I'm sensitive to touch. I just don't like it when people touch me (except for when I want to be hugged or something, but that doesn't happen that often nowadays) and it's even worse when I'm already a bit overloaded etc. Do you know what I mean?

I think this is a common and well documented side effect of autism, this over-sensitivity to stimulus, though not all have it and those that do have it in different degrees.

I have heard of de-sensitivity training (my nephew had it) but do not know if any medicine is available that helps that specifically.

I have it to a minor-moderate degree but have just used various relaxation or mental redirection techniques in attempts to minimalize its interference and stress. When a bothersome or agitating stimulus occurs, my most important step is to realize it consciously. Then I analyze it to see if it is something that needs action (ie baby crying-needs to be fed, someone yelling at me) or if it is just typical backround noise or behavior that can/should be ignored.

Most of the time it is the later, and assuming I can't just leave the area, what I do then is go thru my mental bag of tricks to try and relax more and not let it get to me. You know, one of the first things you must learn when you go in the military is how to stand at attention, looking straight ahead at nothing, while some guy is in your face screaming his head off at you. It actually isn't that hard and can be pretty comical (though do not make the mistake of cracking a smile ) Backround noise and behavior isn't going to hurt you. Its not a threat. So learn to chill.

Isn't that a little extreme??

I'd settle for a dimmer switch.
Mute would be too much to hope for.

My uncle was deaf. He got a hearing aid.
He went to the mall. He turned the hearing aid off.
I was jealous.

Mute the world, kinda like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ttsx5squWg