Doctor doesn't think I have aspergers....

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I've been seeing a doctor recently for depression, anxiety, and to see if I have aspergers. Ever since our first meeting, my doctor has decided that I don't have aspergers because I "make eye contact too well." When I insist that I think I have it based on how I've felt my entire life, he says "Well, it's a spectrum thing so if you did have it, you've grown out of it quite a bit. I don't like putting labels on people." He won't even test me so that I can know for sure... I mean, I don't want to be labeled, but if I do have it I would feel ten times better having an explanation for why I am the way I am. Should I get a second opinion?

Get a second opinion.

First of all, your doctor should be a psychologist, not a medical doctor. "Eye contact" is not the defining aspect of Asperger's and if he said that, well, he's no expert so you shouldn't rely on him anyway.

That crap about "labels" is just that - crap.
Labels only harm you if you let them RESTRICT you. Not if you let them EXPLAIN a significant difference about you. Those are two different things, and if people pull the label card, it usually means that they don't really want to deal with an issue that's probably there. You can have a label - it's what YOU do with it that counts, not others.

Just go to a mental health professional that specializes in Asperger's, and ask for an evaluation. Have it billed to insurance as an unspecified evaluation, which means that insurance will just see it as a psychologist session, not autism testing.
Your doctor might have been referring to labeling for insurance, which really can cause issues.

Good luck. Do what's best for YOU, not what a doctor might feel. Only you know you.

To be honest, if it's not in his field of study or interest then I feel you are probably best to get Nother opinion, it wouldn't hurt or make your situation worse you would just be getting someone else's opinion. In fact it could possibly help you as another way to look at it, but you don't know if you don't try and the way I see it if you don't try it won't change a thing for the worse or better but If you do it could change it for the better but not really for the worse, it took me 3 yrs of talking to doctors shrinks all that, none of them specialised in the spectrum, I finally saw someone specialised who knew what they wer talking about and basically diagnosed me on the spot so I was very happy that I did keep myself going, as now I have gotten more help.
It also seems to me that he just isn't interested at even looking into helping your situation apart from depression and anxiety which the normal way for them to treat it is via drugs so your best bet prob is to find someone interested infurther exploration of you matters.

One of my dr said I was too smart to have AS. Thank goodness he left and I see someone else now. I didn't really like him, anyway.

A doctor said that? That's really disturbing!

Also yes, I agree that the OP should get a second opinion........from a specialist in ASD's.

I heard the same thing from a psychiatrist. He said he didn't like "labels" never understanding the fact I researched it carefully before the visit. I went against his advice and told a group I was on the outs with I have Aspergers and briefly what it was. They didn't say anything at the time but I get along fine with them now. Imagine if I monologued for hours about my symptoms instead: the results would have been different

To be fair, I did see his point about a formal label being bad for insurance purposes and have already discussed this on other topics.

This proves that doctors are subjective as well. If you went to another doctor (or more doctors) you'd have seen that each of them interprets the things differently. Many are diagnosed without having this issue (maintaining eye contact) but if you put them to go to your doctor, he would be circumspect of their condition (and viceversa). I think his attitude is just. If you really want to receive this 'label', just go for it. There are many who are ready to diagnose you.

But does it changes something? Aspergers is not treatable so I see no point why you want so badly to be diagnosed.
Do you think people would understand you better?

But anyway, get a second opinion if that's so important to you. I am not diagnosed and I don't feel an urge to be.

If you're doctor is anything like mine - he's a nice guy and knows lots of cool stuff but should probably keep out of mental health issues. I would ask him for a referal.

My psycologist was reluctant to use the label but in the end agreed that it fit best and we kind of left it at that.
The label can be a good thing if it takes you on a course toward solving problems and putting issues of the past to rest.

Some doctors are concerned that people will become the label.

For example, we had a post here about a guy who was "transitioning from NT to AS" after getting his diagnosis.

Only certain people are qualified to diagnose autism. Judging by your doctor's ignorance, he is not one of them. I would suggest going to see someone who is. You don't always need a referral by the way. The person who diagnosed me came from a google search on my part. I found her, and I made the initial contact. I never asked my doctor to do anything.

Should look for a psychological specialist instead of seeking medical doctor help. Many of them do not have any idea of how to treat/diagnose.

Sorry for the late responses. Well, it says on his website that he specializes in learning disabilities and neuropsychological disorders, but I'm not convinced. The only reason that I originally came to know about the disorder, is because one of my previous psychologists thought that I may have it when my mother complained that I walked funny (I used to always walk with my shoulders slumped looking at the ground and didn't move my arms when I walked). After my mother yelled at me about it I just started forcing myself to walk like how I saw others walk. This was when I was around 14, by the way. I'm almost 20 now. Anyway, after I started looking into the disorder, I just felt like a lot of the symptoms fit me. I get caught up in special interests, I do "scenarios" in my head, I phase out and have been yelled at for staring off into space, I think I stim sometimes (I get very hyper and make noises when I'm excited), and I have problems making friends. I don't exactly know how to "chit chat" and keep a conversation going. I also have trouble keeping myself on track without a schedule. I have caught myself getting so enamored by my interests and research of my interests that I will be on the computer for hours and forget to eat or shower. That has been causing trouble with me in college since I live alone. I also have a cousin who was diagnosed with autism and adhd.

So, my doctor asked why I thought I had it, and I explained all of this to him starting with my original psychologist. Then he just dismissed it and said that since I make pretty good eye contact with him (which has come through me just learning to force myself to stare at people over the years) and since I have a boyfriend and we're doing okay sexually that he just doesn't see it in me. He admitted that I have a sort of "glazed" look that comes with asperger's, but that I don't fit with the other aspie's he sees. I'm just not convinced. If I am an aspie, and that's why I see and think about things differently, then I would like to get help to take advantage of certain programs that could help me with time management and tests here at my school. Plus, it would comfort me to know that there is a reason I am the way I am.

Does anyone know how I can go about finding a doctor who specializes in Asperger's/Autism?

I found mine through a google search. My province has a list of all private psychologists and what they are able to treat and diagnose. That is where I began.

Seems to me (I could be wrong though) that if he is qualified to diagnose ASD, it would have specified ASD. ASD is a unique disorder and cannot be lumped under a broad umbrella term. Many people who are very qualified in diagnosing learning disabilities are not qualified in diagnosing ASD.

The incompetence in our mental health field. Wow.