Alternatives to hugging?

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I've mentioned this elsewhere in these forums, but for those who don't know, I work in an adaptive learning program for people with special needs. It's great and the staff are really understanding and welcoming, and I love helping people, but the problem I have is that a lot of my mentees insist on hugging me every day, and I HATE being hugged unless it's by someone extremely close to me, due to sensory issues and social anxiety. Because they are people with disabilities of their own, I want to be sensitive, but I wonder if anyone has any ideas for something I could suggest they do instead of hug me - so they can still feel like they're expressing affection for me but I don't feel like I'm on the verge of freaking out. Anyone here developed any "hug alternatives"?

High-Fives are always good!

Fist-bumps might also be an options. Don't know the ages you are working with, but high-fives and fist bumps may have a "cool factor" to them that might appeal to some.

Yeah, the fist bump is all I can think of. Or high five. Except high fives are hard to do for me, i usually miss.

I wish the world would all adopt the Japanese custom of just giving a little bow to each other.

You can use a hug buddy. Get a big stuffed animal, a nice soft one and keep him with you. Then when they want to hug you tell them that direct hugs hurt you but that they should give the him big squeezy hug instead of directly to you and then they can pass him back to you to you and he can transfer their hug from them to you.

So glad to help. I can also give you the info on where to get wonderful weighted stuffed animals too if you like. They are really great for people on the spectrum to hug. :0)

That would be great! Thank you.

I will pm you in a minute. I would put her info right here but I want to get her permission first before I put her number and email address out publicly. But she takes stuffed animals and opens them and puts river rocks in them and makes different weights. And they are great if lots of people are touching them because they are made so that they can be washed. If anyone else is interested in one pm me and I will give you the info. Once I have time to call the lady who makes them I will ask her if I can put out her info in the public thread. I saw them at the Autism Expo we had a couple of weeks ago. They are a bit expensive, but you can get a nice one for around $50.00. I really want one so I might just have to save up. :0)

pm me too? I'd love one of those.

Something about hugs as always felt very satisfying to me. I had a biology teacher my freshman year of highschool that hugged students and I thought that was really wonderful. She was a really sweet little old Romanian lady. Anyway, we have neighbors that we treat more like extended family members who always hug everyone when they come over. Maybe that has something to do with my feelings on the subject.

However, I've had a friend (who's also on the spectrum) for about five years who really doesn't like physical contact of any kind. It took a bit of getting used to. I'd always enjoyed a bit of roughhousing too and he really made me think about just how physical I am around anyone with whom I have any kind of positive relationship. He had to give me two or three reminders, but it wasn't n issue for more than a couple weeks.

What age are these people that you're having this problem with? Is it possible that you can just tell them that you don't like being hugged?

i like the thumbs up

I prefer the shoulder hug technique, no torso contact. Pinch the person with your forarm and shoulder. If quick with the right amount of pressure you can avoid uncomfortable contact and usually the other person is content that they got a squeeze. granted it works better if you have long arms.

I remember *despising* being hugged when younger. Eventually I starting giving very strong hugs in return, and the fear went away. Your post made me remember a comment my aunt recently made about really enjoying my hugs because they are so strong. (I'm 31 yo and relatively fit while at 6'1 and 260 lbs - I make conscious effort not to hurt people with my hugs.) While this won't help with fears of bacteria, it may just help with the sensitivity issues. For some reason when my sister and I hug it's very soft. . . I still hate those hugs, even though I love her.

Good luck,