Aspie or not?

Post Reply New Topic

About a week ago I started taking a closer look at ASD and Aspergers as a possible reason to why I've felt so different and misunderstood most of my life. I started watching clips of Dr Tony Attwood talking about Aspergers on YouTube and a lot of it sounded like what I'd been going through. While I feel I could tick many of the boxes, there's still things that don't quite seem to add up.

I'm wondering now if my issues aren't more to do with how people around me interpret me and not vise versa, as Aspergers seems to be. (correct me if I'm wrong)

I'm a naturally quiet and introverted guy but I'm capable of behaving extroverted at times. And though I'm good looking, I get told that I look serious, sad or pissed off all the time even when I can be feeling perfectly content or at ease. So I guess that gives the impression that I'm stuck up, snobby or rude or antagonistic or whatever. So this leads to me offending or upsetting people a whole lot. That's when I struggle. That's when feelings of being self conscious, socially awkward or anxious and feel like I want to withdraw. But if I'm with someone that I feel isn't going to judge me on these things, all those feelings can disappear.

So does this sound like someone who could be on the spectrum? I'm guessing not. I mean it's not quite that cut and dry for me but this might help shed some light.

How do you feel you behave when you're around someone who treats you without judgement vs someone who for
whatever reason... doesn't?

Cheers.

Obviously we can't diagnose you here, but the traits you describe sound like they are indicative of an ASD, especially your lack of awareness as to your facial expressions. We need more details though; do you struggle to communicate effectively, that is, do you say things and they get a bad reaction, or do you not know what to say in certain situations? Can you read nonverbals such as body language and facial expressions? What is your grasp on nonliteral language such as sarcasm and humour like? Do you have any sensory sensitivities to sound, light, touch, etc. (this could be reacting either too much or too little to a certain stimulus)? Do you have restricted and obsessive interests in odd or obscure subjects that take up all your time and enjoyment? Do you have or require restricted and repetitive routines to function throughout the day? What is your eye-contact like? Do you ever get overwhelmingly angry, or experience sensory overload, and harm yourself or lose control as a result? What about your speech and nonverbal affect? Apart from your lack of appropriate facial expressions, do you have any other signs of odd physical behaviour such as a flat, monotone vocal prosody (do you sound like a robot) or a lack of meaningful gestures to accompany your words? Obviously you don't have to have every one of these traits to have Asperger's/autism, but they are generally the most standard and common ones.

With regard to your judgement question, I behave the same around everyone: friends, acquaintances and strangers alike (thought I definitely exhibit more anxiety around strangers.) I've never known anyone to be outright judgemental toward me, whether they knew my diagnosis or not. I have had a couple of people find out I had AS, and treat me like I was younger or less competent as a result, and while I found that rather annoying, I didn't do anything about it because it was not severe enough to be worth complaining about. If I ever were to get someone who was blatantly behaving in a judgemental manner, I would probably call them out on it and attempt to correct whatever misconception they had about me to cause the judgement (unless they were way bigger than me and looked potentially violent.)

Oh, and welcome to WP

Thanks, I appreciate it! Very kind of you.

Yeah, I think I can identify with a few of those.

I think when it comes to communicating I'm more effective when I'm talking about a subject I know something about or working with a group towards an objective, I can even be a pretty good leader. I struggle for sure with chit chat and small talk never have been good at it really. And you mentioned calling someone out, I've got no problem doing that when i feel it's called for, that's no problem for me.

I think with my facial expressions, when I'm engaged and feel comfortable with someone I look happy but when I'm concentrating
intently or anxious or tired my expression is pretty sulky or stern so I understand. I'm very conscious of it so I try to change it superficially but I don't seem to be able to fake it very well.

Yep. Definitely obsessive in my interests and always have been and do take up most of my free time.

I'd say I definitely struggle with knowing what to say at times. Even with the people closest to me.

I don't think I have any trouble interpreting non literal language.

Eye contact's no problem.

Some sensory sensitivities I guess, sound mostly I'd say. Touch no problem.

No strict routine I feel I need to stick to, I am a creature of habit though.

I hate the sound of my voice when I hear it played back and it is a little monotone.
I've heard people mimic me in a monotone.

Hmm... Still not sure.

Righto. Thanks again.

Read through the threads here. If there are a lot of moments when you are saying OMG this is describing me EXACTLY, I can't believe there are others that do that or feel that way that would be an indication.