Ellen DeGeneres' breakdown-meltdowns are OK

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LtlPinkCoupe
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06 May 2014, 11:50 pm

I found this clip of Ellen DeGeneres becoming very emotional over having a shelter dog taken from a family she gifted him to by an adoption facility: linky

I'm not trying to hypothesize that Ellen is anywhere on the spectrum, and it is awfully sad to see her so upset when she's normally so upbeat and cheerful (I actually cried too, the first time I watched it) but somehow I find it kind of reassuring that she felt comfortable and confident enough to let her audience know that she was just having an awful day and needed to cry a little (or a lot, I guess), and then she would be okay. It's like she's saying that when you're overwhelmed and feeling terrible, then it's okay to just cry it out and allow yourself time to process it - necessary, even. I wish there were more people making this kind of statement...I mean, we tell our kids "It's okay to cry," and then we turn RIGHT around and say to them "Stop whining," "Put on your big boy/girl panties" "Crying never helped anything," "What a fuss you're making!" "You're too old for that," "Stop feeling sorry for yourself," etc etc etc. I just feel like there needs to be more people like Ellen to show that you don't have to be "brave" and put on a happy face all the time to be a success in life. That is all.


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07 May 2014, 12:11 am

It's a heartbreaking story that makes no sense at all. I love that she was honest and open with her audience. It makes me respect people more when they can be that way.


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07 May 2014, 2:14 am

I don't know what happened in that case, and I don't particularly wish to know, as I'm very emotional about animals.

But as for this: "Stop whining," "Put on your big boy/girl panties" "Crying never helped anything," "What a fuss you're making!" "You're too old for that," "Stop feeling sorry for yourself,"
It depends on what it's about. Sometimes it's okay to cry, sometimes you are too old for that etc. It's all situational.


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skibum
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07 May 2014, 5:51 am

Yeah. Skil, this was definitely a situation where it was appropriate for her to cry. I cried too.


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Ann2011
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07 May 2014, 7:31 am

Ive always liked her.



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07 May 2014, 7:39 am

At least she was able to expose us to her true feelings, despite her being a celebrity.



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08 May 2014, 1:34 am

This is one of the reasons I hate reality TV: unless it's acting in a movie or something, I'm extremely uncomfortable around other peoples' emotions, even watching them on a screen. Any innate ability I may have had to comfort or be supportive is instantly squashed by an overwhelming feeling of embarrassment, anxiety and uncertainty, even when it's someone in my own family who's crying. I couldn't even watch the Ellen clip with the sound on because it made me too uncomfortable. I feel less like this when I'm the one crying in front of people (provided they're close to me) but I still don't enjoy it and feel stupid and/or too vulnerable while doing it.

Inexplicably enough, I enjoy watching characters in films cry, not in a sadistic, "Ha ha you're suffering" way, but more in a, "Good, I can finally see the extent of your grief in a tangible way" way. It's odd, certainly.


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Giygas
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08 May 2014, 7:36 am

StarTrekker wrote:
I'm extremely uncomfortable around other peoples' emotions, even watching them on a screen. Any innate ability I may have had to comfort or be supportive is instantly squashed by an overwhelming feeling of embarrassment, anxiety and uncertainty, even when it's someone in my own family who's crying. I couldn't even watch the Ellen clip with the sound on because it made me too uncomfortable.


I have similar experiences whenever I hear people grieving. I get very distressed whenever I hear people grieving, whether it's fiction or non-fiction, unless I am deeply attached to that person or I could understand what the person is going through. I think it might have something to do with what you mentioned above on how it becomes difficult to figure out how to properly support the person who is grieving, though in my case it's when I don't have a strong connection with that person in the first place.

So if you ever see me turn off the TV because of a very sad scene involving people in despair, you'll know why.



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08 May 2014, 7:48 am

I love it.
People need to be more free to express their feelings. All this terrorism about crying and crybabies is nonsense that should be eliminated from Earth.
(this coming from a person that cries easily. I am sensitive so what?? )