Not freaking lovely, it is not.

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I'm on Facebook and get a lot of news feeds in regards to autism spectrum, etc.

I would like to vent my frustration right now and say, No, today I'm not going to 'Love Autism'

just not feeling it.

At the moment there are way more issues with Aspergers for my daughter that are not fabulous or awesome.

I'm not loving autism right now. I love my daughter, but the issues she is faced with are not freeking 'lovely'

I have a right to feel this and express that.

I am on the spectrum and while there are some aspects of it I am fine with that certainly don't harm me or others....I can hardly ignore all the difficulties it causes. So no it is certainly not all a bed of roses, its not just a 'difference' people with it do tend to struggle quite a bit. I mean so maybe I get obsessive over things I am interested in, maybe I don't make eye contact unless its people I know really well and I am fine with that...but sensory issues can really suck, being picked on as a child because you're 'different' sucks, having difficulties relating to and interacting with people sucks, excutive functioning issues and slow mental processing speed suck.

I'm not on Facebook, Twitter or any other social things.

I know it can be hard but there is lots of good too. Sometimes you might have to shift your gaze to see it but life's not all bad and it beats being in a box, 6ft under.


Here, have a smiley flower:

People seem to prefer the simplicity of extremes. Either something is bad, you dislike it and the people who embody it, and you try to rid yourself of it, or it is good, you love it, and it makes everyone happy.

Why do you blame the autism for being picked on? I blame the ignorance of the bullise myself. Someone being different is no damned excuse to bully them.

I concur. Some days with autism are indeed not lovely. I have a foot-sized hole in the wall right outside my bedroom to attest to the last time my life with autism was less than sublime.

Well I do not entirely blame the autism, but if I didn't have autism I likely would not have been seen as 'weird' and bullied for it....of course its the ignorance of the bullies but reality is being normal sort of decreases ones chances of being bullied and singled out. I don't feel like their bullying should be excused or anything just probably wouldn't have happend to the extent it did had I been born with normal neurology.

It's not about extremes, it's about understanding that autism is part of the person, so hating the autism and loving the person is somewhat contradictory.

Aside from that I don't really sympathize with a lot of NT parents with autistic children because of conversations similar to this.

I don't know I feel like the OP was more expressing her child is struggling because of their autism, and its painful to see that....I could be wrong but that is how the post came off to me. Also they apparently try to stay updated on autism news and what not but aren't up for the 'Yay Autism' stuff there are times that stuff really annoys me too because it seems to promote people to forget there are real struggles related to having autism and there are, that is why its a disorder.

I don't know I feel like the OP was more expressing her child is struggling because of their autism, and its painful to see that....I could be wrong but that is how the post came off to me. Also they apparently try to stay updated on autism news and what not but aren't up for the 'Yay Autism' stuff there are times that stuff really annoys me too because it seems to promote people to forget there are real struggles related to having autism and there are, that is why its a disorder.[/quote]



Sweetleaf-Precisely, thank you

Oh I agree. A lot of people glamourise it and gloss over the nastier aspects of having the condition.
It's very hard to constantly see "Aspergers is a gift" all day when the people posting don't know what it feels like to have a meltdown, have to wear earplugs, or be constantly mis-understood.

Some people honestly don't understand at all how the condition could ever possibly be bad, and this is due to the whole glamorisation of it. I see where people are coming from, look on the bright side. But the reality for a) People who live with the condition, and b) People who have to tolerate people with the condition, is a lot darker than the general public thinks.

I remember one specific instance. Someone was telling my friend about how she should cherish her aspergers, because it means she's smart and super talented and stuff.

My friend was actually in a state of distress when she made her post, and I was like "DUDE... it's a "Syndrome" for a reason!" It does not simply mean someone is "gifted". It actually has real problems that come with it.

It bothers me because people don't know about these. They know NOTHING of it! "Why do you call yourself aspergers? It seems like attention seeking to me".

Some freak I actually dated said "You don't need to be on medication, theres nothing wrong with you". The stupid fool clearly didn't realise I was "normal" because of the medication.

f**k people are idiots.

I can sympathize with the frustrations of dealing with such things.

Just not really that interested in blanket statements about autism from NTs.

There are times when the parts that affect me negatively have made me want to give up on life. It can get very hard. And I think it's good that you express your frustration you feel on behalf of your child. If you don't express it your other options are to suppress it or to ignore it.and if you are a big part of your child's support system and you choose to ignore or suppress it it will be more difficult for you to genuinely be there wholeheartedly for her and she will suffer for it. And as frustrating as it is for you to see the tough parts of Autism that affect her, it is that much harder for her to go through it. So I am glad you are venting here so that you can strengthen yourself for her.

Last edited by skibum on 08 May 2014, 6:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

It seems to me when a child faces a serious issue, there is a lot of social pressure to be calm and cheerful. The more serious the issue, the greater the social pressure seems. Go against that pressure, and I have instantly felt the wrath of the world deciding that I am the problem. Respect the social pressure, and people help my kids.

It seems unfair, and I am sometimes very frustrated and upset, but if I need to voice the truth, I come to Wrong Planet. Like you did.

Maybe because people feel like they need to "fix" the situation somehow, and if Mom is freaking out too, the pressure to make it better is repelling because there's too much to "fix"?

An NT parent has every right to be here, voicing the distress that they and their ASD child are experiencing. Parents who see their child struggle are struggling with them, regardless of whether they share the disorder.

my mom likes your post