Networking (oh the horror)

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How do you guys deal with it if you have no choice but to attend a networking event?

I wouldn't attend ("Sorry, cat needed urgent trip to the vet"). The very word 'networking' strikes fear in my heart, nausea in my stomach, and recoil in my mind. I would rather stick pins in my eyes than "network" with NTs. If you must go, form some kind of strategy to deal with it? (Lock yourself in the toilet and say that the lock was malfunctioning lol).

The other word that I respond as negatively to is "multitasking"!

NT's for the most part seem to revere both words.

I would not normally attend such an event but if I do then I always take someone with me as a social buffer. Without that, I would never attend. Maybe there is someone you like and trust that you can take with you as a social buffer to help when you need it?

The very word fills me with horror, along with"team building activity". - At one former job this meant doing some highly competitive sporting type activity that I will hopeless at ; and the"colleagues" on the winning team would rub it in the losers face, till next time. I am usually pretty good at trivia comps, but if "colleagues" don't take notice of my answers and hog the answer sheet, it's not much fun. A bit like work.

What goes on at a networking event? How do you get invited to one?

I attend networking events all the time for my business.

I've learned the best approach for me is to limit the number of people I talk to and instead concentrate on talking to the "right" people. This often means hanging back to start with and just observing the room from the corner. They key is to know exactly why you're there and what you're hoping to achieve, so you can easily filter the people.

If someone approaches me I'll deliberately focus on asking about what they do, and what they're looking for from the event. If they ask what I do, I say I'm working on a startup, give a vague description, and then decline to say more due to legal restrictions. I'll say what I'm looking for from the meeting. e.g. to meet people from X industry and get feedback on Y idea or whatever).

It also helps to have a problem in mind that you're trying to solve, and ask people for their thoughts. People love to give advice, and even if you don't agree with it, you're learning more about them, and can assess whether they'll be useful to connect with. e.g. "We've developed this product to do X, and it turns out that it's really good for doing Y as well, so I'm here to meet people who do Y a lot to see if there would be a viable market."

In summary - Make sure you know why you're there, what kind of people you want to meet, and what you want to discuss with them.

You generally don't need to be invited to networking events. You just need to know they are happening and register yourself as an attendee. It depends on your industry and the subject matter of the event, but generally they're promoted on places like meetup.com, eventbrite etc.

Wtf o.O So if one was involved in engineering, you could attend one? Could you do this even if you are a student? Is this how people meet others in order to help them get ahead in their jobs?

Is there a purpose for networking if you are just starting college? Should I be doing this? Do you just start talking to people? Should one be well versed in social cues before attempting this?

Yes to all of the above!

It depends on the event of course, there are some that are for working professionals in a particular industry or members of a particular trade organisation, but mostly they're for anyone with an interest in an area.

The social cues are a little different from normal life... yes, you do just basically just start talking to people, but it helps to do it the right way. You'll see lots of people talking in pairs or small groups, and also lots of people standing around on their own looking around trying to work out who to talk to.

To start the conversation, I generally make eye contact with someone near me who is on their own, smile, and say "hello, I'm Pete", and reach out to shake hands.

They will say hello back and introduce themselves, and then one of you will ask about the other persons interest in the meeting, and it goes on from there.

As a student, you might say something like.. " I'm studying engineering and I'm here to learn more about the industry and what sort of company I'd like to work for". If there's some particular aspect of engineering that is your "special interest", then these kind of meetups are exactly the kind of places to talk about them.

If they seem interested ( you'll know if they are because they'll ask questions to find out more ), then ask their advice about getting into the industry and what sort of roles and companies to work for. Also ask them if they can recommend anyone who you should talk to for advice.

Just be aware that everyone else is there for a purpose too, so don't be offended if someone cuts the conversation short to go and talk to someone else... just look around, choose someone else who's standing on their own, smile, say hello and repeat the process.

Personally, I'm very impressed when I meet a student at a professional networking event, as it shows they're serious.

EDIT : One other thing.. As an engineer, it would be perfectly acceptable to tell people " I'm an engineer, and I'm really not good at networking events". People in business are well aware that the best engineers often don't have the best social skills, and they will not judge you for it at all. Engineer is almost a euphemism for Aspie in this regard, and people will make allowances. Prospective employers or advisors will be far more interested in your engineering skills and knowledge.

Last edited by pete42 on 06 May 2014, 4:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

Score! I will keep you in mind to ask questions in the future. I will just be starting in the Fall. Truthfully, I feel like I don't have enough knowledge about engineering (yet) to carry on a technical discussion, and yet I find myself with a lack of resources to ask people who have jobs in industry for advice and their experiences.

*bleh out* Go on with your regular discussion without bleh interrupting.

deleted double post.

Last edited by pete42 on 06 May 2014, 4:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

You're not interrupting.. this is what the thread is for isn't it?

What sort of engineering are you studying? and which big city or university campus is closest for you to get to? maybe I could give you some more specific tips or events to attend.

You can certainly never have too little knowledge to have a technical discussion.. in fact you sound like you've got the right mindset. You know there's lots you don't know, so you're ready to learn.

I may go dressed in something outlandish. Like scuba diving gear. That way I will have fulfilled my social duty and I will have rendered myself officially unapproachable. Though I may have to answer inevitable questions "Why are you dressed in scuba gear" "Because im in deep waters"

From what I understand networking is schmoozing for the advanced. Its going to be a university schmoozefest so people will be there scoping out people they would like to work with based on how cool and hip they are. Its not about people scoping out the most skilled creatives. Its about people scoping out those who are compatible. I have this on good authority from a pro on the network circuit.

I am going to fail epically.

That said this is just ONE type of networking event. There are others which are skill focused. At such an event I would excel.

Thought this was about network problems. Computer thing.

I don't understand networking, but it sounds like many people in small space. You can always come up with excuse.

So find one and don't go. That's what I would do.

I felt like I was intruding too much into the realm of talking too much about my own experiences/interests when the OP has a dilemma! XD I'm starting in the fall at a community college, so I won't be taking actual engineering classes until I transfer to a university. However, I'm going to be studying electrical engineering and possibly software engineering.

I live in Los Angeles County. Specifically, I live near UCLA, UCI, UC Riverside, UC Santa Barbara, a lot of the Cal States including Cal Poly Pomona (which is where I want to transfer to), and also I live near Caltech and the University of Southern California. I know I will NEVER EVER be accepted into Caltech (lol), but I can imagine they have some networking events that are really good.



Binary, I laughed so hard at your scuba gear idea. I'm not very extroverted, but why is this networking event so bad for you?